See, the Presidents Cup is being held in Harding Park, which is a public park. And there's no smoking in public parks in San Francisco. The city was sure to let the PGA know:

You mean about Spare the Air Jordan?" said Recreation and Park General Manager Phil Ginsburg.

"I've already sent off an e-mail to the PGA Tour director," Ginsburg said. "It was sort of a gentle nudge reminding them that smoking is illegal and that we would appreciate their support."

Apparently the message has gotten through to Jordan.

PGATOUR.COM: What's the over and under on cigars per round this week?

MJ: Well, that depends because I heard this is a public place so they limit what you can smoke. I'm not even supposed to be smoking but this was a practice round and no one said anything. So I've been very cognizant of that to some degree. But I would say, if they allow me to, I would say a three-cigar round. I would try to keep it at a minimum of three.

Luckily for Jordan, San Francisco doesn't have a ban on being a selfish, egotistical jackass.

Michael Jordan Caught Smoking [SF Chronicle]
Q&A: Jordan on golf and The Presidents Cup [PGATOUR.com]

Tiger refused to answer the question, but the seed was planted. Lacking any other obvious story line, people were actually pondering that scenario. Then like some terrible sociology class experiment, the idea turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Tiger Woods lost his fourth major of the year. So now he's exactly like every other chump who held the lead on Sunday and folded like a cheap suit.

Isn't it funny how no one ever gets beat in golf? The story line of most of those 14 wins was usually not about Tiger outplaying his opponent—which he did—but how his "mental toughness" put the "pressure" on the challenger forcing them to "wilt" and "fade." It can never just be that he swung the little sticks better than someone else. Golf is a mental war that requires there to be casualties. Since no one plays defense, if you don't win you have no one to blame but yourself.

So at least everyone is being consistent. (Even the hero worshipers.) Sure, it was tough for some people to admit the Tiger Woods could be the choker, but they came around, because that's the way golf works. The guy who won? Yeah, he's okay I guess. But Tiger blew it. Y.E. Yang was not the winner. Tiger was the failure. It was his fault. What a loser.

Yet, still not the worst choke job of the weekend. That's goes to the Irish bookmaker that called the PGA Championship on Saturday morning—before the third-round even started—and paid out all their bets to those who had Tiger Woods to win. Savvy.

The Yin and the Yang: Woods Choked [Jay Mariotti]
Believe it or not: Tiger loses lead in major on final day [CBS Sports]
Bookmaker loses 1.5m euros after Tiger Woods USPGA collapse [Daily Record]
Tiger Woods showed how hard it is to win 14 major championships by losing one [Golf]

Since publishing this shocking exposé, reports have been flooding in about Woods, David Feherty and their mutual love of poopy humor. Apparently, it's well known in the inner circles of the golf world that these two jokesters love their beefeaters. It's the bond that has sealed their friendship. But how they have managed to hide it from the public until now? A tipster writes:

Someone I know worked in the golf industry for many years, and when I sent him the story he replied with this:

"I must admit that as soon as I read about the fartgate, I suspected Feherty would be up to his ass in it somehow. I knew they joked about farts (Feherty is fascinated by all bodily functions, it seems, but gas especially), and has written about Tiger's farting ability. Seems he may be world-class in that, as well."

So there you have it. The sordid underbelly of golf farts.

Randy Youngman of the Orange County Register concurs:

A few years ago, I interviewed Feherty before the Toshiba Classic at Newport Beach Country Club, and he confessed that he, Woods and Tiger's caddie, Steve Williams, sometimes have off-camera farting contests during tournaments

The man has 14 majors. We know about his wife, his kids, his dad, his dogs, his favorite foods, what kind of putter he used when he was six, why he always wears red on Sunday, and his favorite toppings on tacos. But only now are we learning that he is also the owner of the Green Windbreaker?

David Feherty has done his best to compete with the living legend, but like so many golfers have done before when facing Tiger head-to-head, he's crumbled under the pressure. If fact, there was apparently one particular back nine collapse worthy of Greg Norman at Augusta:

Seconds before Feherty was about to interview Woods after a round, the broadcaster thought he would be funny and – and, uh, his strategy backfired.

"I (soiled) myself," Feherty said.

And then the camera lights came on.

Shit, man, that sucks.

Breaking wind with Tiger Woods [OC Register]

An unnamed source—obviously fearful for his life and liberty—has confirmed that the flatulence giver was indeed CBS golf analyst David Feherty, at least according to golf blog Wei Under Par. Whether the sound came by natural or unnatural means, remains unclear. But it's so much more insidious than just a simple passing of the gas. The source also claims that Feherty and Tiger Woods have an ongoing "fart feud" and enjoy cracking each other up with the sounds of bodily functions. That would explain why someone was able to rip one off in the golf god's presence without caddy Steve Williams corking the offender with a five iron.

So there you have it—Tiger Woods thinks farts are funny. He is not just a machine. He's a machine with a heart.

Source Confirms David Feherty Was Buick Open Farter [Wei Under Par]

Blame the blogs, of course. (Including us.) But how were we to know that CBS would actually send takedown notices to YouTube, claiming copyright violations against the people who uploaded five second clips of a fart sound? Or that CBS would claim to have investigated the matter and ruled out Eldrick as the culprit? It's a breathtaking display in how to turn a stupid video you wish would go away into a viral smash hit. Not silent equals very deadly.

Everyone is talking now. USA Today. The New York Post. The Chicago Sun-Times. The Detroit Free Press has two stories about it! (Yet, somehow it didn't end up on SportsCenter's "Blog Buzz" today. Go figure.) Who says sports journalism is dying?

The saddest part, of course, is that it was completely obvious from the very beginning that Woods was never the culprit. I'm not even sure that anyone farted. It sounds more like a movie sound effect fart. Maybe it was someone goofing off with a microphone they thought was silent. A defective whoopie cushion? The fact that I've spent this much time trying to figure out the source of the raspberry makes me question my choice of careers a little bit.

And ... I'm over it. Later this afternoon, look for my gallery of Sports' Top 10 Poopy Pants Moments. You won't want to miss it.

FartGate — CBS Denies Tiger Supplied It [TMZ]
On Tiger clip from Buick Open, another type of outburst [USA Today]
Did Tiger Woods break par ... and break wind? [Detroit Free Press]
Mysterious, Gaseous Noise Invades The Buick Open [Deadspin]

Unless CBS had a special microphone right next to his ass, it doesn't seem plausible that Woods could be the culprit. Yes, just a few seconds before blast-off, we see Woods loosening his hamstrings by kicking his legs up behind him, followed by the alleged fart, then a shot of he and caddy Steve Williams chuckling, but this is all circumstantial and hardly implicates Tiger.

If that strange splattery noise heard was, in fact, a purposeful release, it must have come from inside CBS' studio. If so, this is CBS's second brush with a noisy sphincter on-air in the same calendar year, which, to me, makes someone in the booth the prime suspect — not Tiger.

Tiger Woods Releases Some Gas On The Way To Buick Open Victory [TPS]

Rocco Mediate follows in Tiger's footsteps, right onto the water [Devil Ball]

According to the Guardian, Williams thinks Mickelson is a "prick". Not exactly breaking news, but he did reveal a fun anecdote about Michelson's saggy pectoral region. The following exchange happened while Woods and Mickelson were paired up together at this year's US Open.

The two players were walking down the 17th fairway when, according to Williams, someone shouted "Phil" in Mickelson's direction. The world No2 did not respond until the fan shouted "Hey, Mr Mickelson". When Mickelson turned and waved, the fan yelled out "Nice tits". The crowd erupted in laughter; Mickelson went double bogey, bogey and his chances of winning the tournament disappeared.

And then Happy Gilmore came from behind and sunk an impossible putt to win the tournament.

"The bus driver called 911 because my eyes were open," Daly said. "I said, 'What's going on?' He said, 'We thought you were dead.' Anybody who knows me ... when I'm tired, I sleep with my eyes open. They know it takes awhile to wake me up."

Daly doesn't deny that he had a few drinks that evening, but hates the perception that he was tossed out of Hooters like some portly, drunk washed-up golfer. And he also hates that Hooters is going to take a PR hit because of this incident: "I've never had an incident at Hooters. I hate that their name is brought into it this way. They'll probably have to terminate me because of the negative publicity."

I've contacted Hooters PR to see if they are planning on "terminating" Daly from patronizing any of their locations, but they've yet to respond. If they do permanently ban him, would that be the lowest point in John Daly's life prompting him to finally clean up his act? Your move, Hooters.

Daly says sleep habit led to night in jail, but no arrest and no Hooters ejection [ESPN]

PHOTO: Golf.com

Woods announces his wife, Ellin, pregnant with second child [ESPN]

I was 14 the first time I got falling-down drunk. I was attending summer golf camp at the University of Arkansas. It was 1985, and a preternaturally talented young golfer named John Daly was my camp counselor. This was six years before Daly won the PGA Championship as a rookie. He would also become famous for his drinking, but in 1985 he was still just a big kid, five years older than I was but not especially more mature.

One night he acquired a bottle of Canadian whiskey, and somehow we persuaded three girls from the tennis camp to join us in his dorm room. Not bothering with glassware, we passed the bottle around until it was empty. I remember eating some watermelon Daly had bought. The evening ended when I regurgitated the whiskey and melon onto one of the girls. Daly and another player on the Razorback golf team deposited me into the well of a shower, where I fell into a dead sleep.

You win, John Cloud. You win.

Should You Drink With Your Kids? [Time]

If you're interested in purchasing this perfect little getaway place, you should check out the listing here.

Mickelson's House For Sale [Golf.com]