Because, readers, you've once again failed to deliver a suitable interesting morning photo so I can start my day the usual way (Grape Nuts, juice, semi-nude toe stretching) you're forced to endure this image of a young woman attempting to wrestle a pig. Pig wrestling, if you will. A practice that's extremely cruel and reflects poorly on society, according to one pig sympathizer.

While these activities may seem harmless on the surface, it only takes a moment to see the real cruelty involved. This particular family fun event consisted of children chasing around terrified pigs, slathered in mud, with the objective being to stuff the animal into a basket.

(PHOTO: Evansville Gleaner)

You know what else is cruel? Soundgarden breaking up.

So good morning to those who get mystified.

Maybe, maybe not ... but the beast's name was Fred. He wasn't so wild, as it turns out. No, he grew up under the care of Phil and Rhonda Blissitt in Fruithurst, Alabama. Phil bought Rhonda the pig as a Christmas gift (lucky woman), and they eventually sold Fred to the Lost Creek Plantation, where he was kept in a 150-acre fenced-in area. Four days later, the kid plugged Fred.

Oh well. Even if this truly wasn't a "man vs. nature" type of thing, and it wasn't truly killed in the wild, it's still a hell of an accomplishment for the shooter. That's something I'd like to achieve someday. Maybe later this afternoon, I'll go buy a gun and head to the zoo.

Pig Was a Monster, but He Wasn't Wild [Comcast]
Hog Kid Gets Swiftboated ... We Suppose It Was Inevitable [Deadspin]
Of Hogs And Men [Deadspin]
Kevin Kolb Is Going To Be So Jealous [Deadspin]

And since the lad has put up his own web site and is sharing the negative mail with the world, we see no problem in highlighting a couple of the best (worst?) ones.

What the f### is your f###ing problem you fat a## b####. You f###ing killed a f###ing innocent little pig. Does it make your fat a## feel good to kill such an innocent creature. Wow congratuf###inglations you fat a## f###ing c###. I hope the boars babies come back alive and eat your sausage link penis you, fat piece of s###. F###ing fat redneck. I hope demons come and haunt your fat a## for the rest of your life. Do you think your hot s### for this b####? Well your not fat a##. Burn in hell you rotten piece of s###. F### YOU!!!!! F###ING FAT A## REDNECK PIECE OF S###!!!!

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I have to congratulate you because I didn't think it was possible for an 11 yr old as large as yourself to chase a pig for three hours in hilly terrain. Well done, fat boy! ...

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Yes while it is true that you definitely commited an act of terrorism, much like our president does each day upon arising, Its not you. Its your father and your fathers father and soon. They were probably slave owners way back when and even earlier on performed acts of terror on the original land owners of America, The Native Americans, who would kill only what they needed to survive. Its a sad,sad thing that has been taught to innocent children like yourself.

This is nothing, of course. Somewhere, Dee Mirich is at the keyboard ...

Monsterpig.com [via Fark]
Kevin Kolb Is Going To Be So Jealous [Deadspin]