2) Forest Whitaker lied to you Or at least stretched the truth. For reasons that escape me, Forest Whitaker was featured this year in a Big East commercial which ran during every single commercial break during every single Big East regional game. The Fast Times star rambles through about 40 different facts explaining how impressive the Big East looks this year and has been throughout the history of the conference. While I don't dispute that opinion, I do dispute the fact that at one point, the Bloodsport actor makes the claim that 15 teams in the conference have reached the Final Four, including Pitt. Yeah, and Battlefield Earth was a great movie. The truth is, Pitt did reach a semi-final of a tournament in 1941. Problem is, there were only 8 teams in the whole bracket. Does winning one game in a tournament that featured Creighton really count as making the Final Four? Forest, does that mean simply getting into the tournament means Pitt has been to an Elite 8? No, sadly, it doesn't. A win on Thursday takes Pitt to uncharted territory. Following that, in the event of a win over either 'Nova or Duke on Saturday and I'd like to retract this section of this article. I'd also like my $8 back from Vantage Point.

3) Senioritis Hopefully it's not kicking in yet for any of the 3 graduating seniors from the starting 5 of this year's team. But while some local journalistic dolts claim that Levance Fields, Sam Young and Tyrell Biggs' departure, coupled with a possible early exit to the NBA by DeJuan Blair, spells doom for Jamie Dixon and the Panthers next year, others are looking to a brighter future. Highly acclaimed forward Dante Taylor joins the Panthers next year, the first to sport the title of McDonald's All-American for Pitt in 20 years. Some other key players to next years team are also helping to fuel their current run in this years tournament. Gilbert Brown might be the most athletic player on the court at any given time, freshman Ashton Gibbs led the conference for a while in 3 point % and Brad Wanamaker is a solid 2 guard. Match them with current starting guard Jermaine Dixon, and you have a very solid starting 5. Because of Jamie Dixon's willingness to go deep into his bench, the Panthers have been able to bring along the future of their program, while remaining a....I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. I'm only writing this section as a way to soften the blow of another possible let down. If this team can't get the job done, I don't think we'll ever see a Pitt team in the Final Four. — WhoWantsaWanstacheRide (The Mosh Pitt)

XAVIER MUSKETEERS

1) Coaching audition? Inevitably, the story line that will get beaten into the ground leading up to Thursday night will be Head Coach Sean Miller squaring off against his alma mater. Miller was a Pitt guard from 1987-1992, was the Big East Freshman of the year in '88, and hit Jerome Lane in transition en route to that famed backboard breaking jam, which of course sent Bill Raftery into hysterics. If for some reason Jamie Dixon ever bolts for another gig, Miller will immediately be the number one candidate to fill the vacancy.

2) Better with age As a freshman in 2005, B.J. Raymond did little to suggest he was ever going to have a substantial impact on the program. He played only 12 minutes a game and shot a lackluster 30.6 percent from deep. But fast forward to 2009 and Raymond is the face of Xavier's second consecutive trip to the Sweet 16. He leads the team in points (14.1), minutes (30.1) and free throw percentage (80). He's also improved his range tremendously, finishing fourth in the Atlantic 10 in three pointers made. You might remember him as the player who made this frightening face after delivering the knockout three pointer against West Virginia in last year's regional semi-final.

3) They should have an "X" factor, right? With roles clearly defined and exciting aberration performances from bench players few and far between, this year's team has been fairly predictable to watch. In March though it usually takes a role player to incite an upset, so take heed of the name Jamel McLean. Derrick Brown aside, he's the team's most athletic player and was second in blocks despite averaging only 17 minutes of floor time. He's listed at 6'8", but that is very, very generous. He also likes to dunk! Something often absent in an XU game. — Searching For Billy Edelin

So, I punched her in the damn ribs. She'll never talk to me like that ag— oh, HI. Do come in. The game is about to start and we've got all kinds of delicious chips for your perusal/enjoyment. They're on the counter— just past the fruit arrangement my ex-girlfriend probably poisoned. Women, right? Can't live with 'em, can't really enjoy the feminist perspectives of Emma Goldman without them. Welcome, friend(s) to the Forsaken House liveblog of the University of Pittsburgh's spirited contest with fellow university, East Tennessee State. Please, have a seat on the uncomfortable futon and watch out for wine corks. They will fly.

Since we have a short amount of time together, I say we make the most of it. Regale me with your favorite fireside stories of when your basketballing barnstormers won something important, or how you came to cheer for said establishment. I'll start: the principal of my middle school had a nephew nicknamed "Junebug" who attended East Tennessee State University, so I saw the posters all over the gym and in his office. I've not thought much about it until now.

As far as the contest goes, I'm not expecting too much from the Buccaneers. But as Seth Davis so blithely pointed out yesterday, "In our lifetime, a 16 will beat a 1." So, why not us... why not now?

JOIN US:

2:39 PM— Somewhere the teams are getting ready to tip. Dejaun Blair is dreaming of Miley Cyrus clones. And "Junebug" took the day off of work to watch his alma mater. Ah, the smell of desperation and nerves hang in the air like burning tobacco fields.

3:05— IT BEGINS. Pitt controls the all-important tip-off, and gets to the line within fifteen seconds of the game. LET'S GO BUCS.

3:08— Greg Hamlin scores. ETSU LEADS.

3:10 Two fouls on Isaiah Brown. This is, apparently, bad news. Pitt's up 6-5 with the ball.

3:14 It's 11-5 Pitt and I am not publishing for some reason. IT'S OVER THE DREAM IS OV

3:17Kevin Tiggs with a nice rip move and a bucket. You gotta get strong with 'em. I like it. 11-9 Pitt. IT'S CLOSE, BABY. Now 11-11 on a monster alley-oop from... TIGGS.

3:20I gotta tell you, man, I got rocketbird drunj last night, so I can barely process the fact that ETSU is up by two this late in the half. Coors light number two opened. They gotta start selling Michelob across the street from my house.

3:23 Lipitor is definitely for me. Coming into the first break, Jamie Dixon is pawing at his beautiful silk tie. Hair strand number one— near the middle of his forehead— is beginning to move a little with the trickles of sweat beading just above the hairline.17-15 PITT.

3:25 The unexpected driving to the basket of East Tennessee State, guys. That's what I am watching. Not so much because I think they will win, but because I think they are willing to expose Pitt in this game. The rest of the tourney should watch the way ETSU has brought the Pitt defense out of their positions and cleaned up on putbacks. 20-17 Pitt.

Well, a one-point game with 7 left in the first half? I'm a little excited it is still in doubt, actually. During this commercial, I gotta say, I'm gonna enjoy some Smoking Popes:

3:32 A good call by the officials and ETSU is livid in the wrong. Just set it up, boys. Just set it up.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the ETSU boys most definitely watched the Cal State Northridge-Memphis game yesterday. They are slashing, drawing fouls and running themselves at the boards HARD. It's a tie game, kids. It's a time game. Well, DeJuan Blair is gonna get his. 22-20 Pitt, just under 6 to go.

3:38You would think that Lundquist and Rafferty would go to the weight jokes about D-Blair when they are up 37. These guys are just bored for no reason. 22-20 Pitt.

3:40 Pitt's got 10 turnovers and some awful decision-making going on. Blair gets a tech for hanging on the rim— WE'RE BUILDING ROBOTS NOT BALLPLAYERS.

"Basketball is the stored honey of the human soul, gathered on wings of misery and travail."
— Theodore Dreiser

Less than 3:30 to go and ETSU has to feel like a Pitt run is coming. I mean settling for running one-handers and threes is fun, I guess, but pretty soon they have to try to muscle and penetrate. I hear Pitt dudes love muscles and penetration.

3:45 Hamlin drives to the rim and nearly gets an and one. I gotta say, this is piss-poor defense from Pitt. They are listless, the crowd is listless.Tiggs misses two free throws and gifts them the ball and lead. Less than two— WHAT JUST HAPPENED? Sam Young fouls an off-the-ball man in transition. Then they get two shots? Man, that was retarded on like ten levels, Sam Young.

ETSU WITH ANOTHER CHANCE AT THE LEAD WITH LESS THAN 2 TO GO. ZOMG.

3:53 Less than a minute to go, so let's take a second to humor the kids. KIDS, Pitt is going to be just fine.

OK, everyone get their corpse-handling gloves, we've got a team of corpses on the floor right now.

26-23 Pitt. ETSU forces a turnover; Pitt has 13 of those. Last possession goes to ETSU. AND IT WAS AWESOME. If that counts, Pitt is walking into a shitstorm in the locker room. The over-under on chairs thrown? I'd say five.

Shot does not count. DAS NOT COMPUTE. DAS NOT COM

"Pitt basketball is still in a middle stage, scarcely beast, in that it is no longer wholly guided by instinct; scarcely human, in that it is not yet wholly guided by reason"
— Theodore Dreiser

Halftime Show: Time for the report cards.

ETSU: They get a C. They can't hit free throws, they are forcing bad shots. That said, they have executed their game plan professionally. If they get some early shots to fall, they could be within 5 late in the game.

Pitt:

Tonight's halftime entertainment is absent, so I will provide this and this.

OK, kids. The second half of this barnburner is beginning.

4:19 ETSU ties it up early on a nice play. I'm on like beer four and it still feels like Pitt is a small explosion away from killing these dudes. Fields gets a pair of free throws and ETSU scores soooooooo easily. TIED.

4:21 Pitt takes a two-point lead and starts getting pissy. They are looking like a team of ballers right now rather than a series of ghosts trying to learn to touch things in the material world. You know, like that movie. Ghost. 30-29, Pitt.

So, Pitt gets a three, takes their biggest lead in an hour and then calls timeout? Um, Jamie? Why do you hate the ebb and flow of basketball? As Emile Zola once said, "If you shut up ETSU basketball, and bury it underground, it will but grow." Just saying.

4:29 Is this foul trouble that's keeping Pitt from challenging cutters? HAMLIN SCARES ME. HOLY SHIT WHAT A BLOCK. They just don't seem to be playing defense at all once ETSU touches the lane. The crowd is coming alive, ETSU has made some plays and I am going to die alone. THIS IS AWESO

"The fate of basketball is of greater importance to me than the fear of appearing ridiculous; it is indissolubly connected with the fate of men." — Emile Zola

4:33 HIT A LAYUP ETSU. HIT A FREE THROW ETSU. GET A REBOUND PITT. Tie game again, 37-37 with 14 to go.

Having seen Fields run before, I disagree with the esteemed announcers. Fields is not nearly 100%. Not even close. I think he is detrimental to the running of the offense.

4:38 Pitt hates the basketball. They hate rebounding. They hate it. It's their downfall. Their Achilles' heel. The allergy to cat hair that ends their relationship. The new Starbucks that replaced that one Chinese place I liked near my work. 42-40, 12:00 left.

I gotta say, fuck a bracket. I'll take the upset here. Even if I really like Pitt. Which I do. ETSU, do it for Junebug. Do it for me because basketball is all I have in this cold, gray, hopeless world. Do it for that one chick that was married to the "Taken" dude. DO IT.

"You cannot choose your battlefield, Basketball does that for you; But you can plant a standard Where a standard never flew."
—Stephen Crane

4:45 Pitt is getting killed by a pretty good press. You don't beat a press by dribbling to the outside. You beat it in the fucking middle. You pass to the middle and the spacing happens much easier. It's so simple. I love how simple basketball is, and yet Pitt hates basketball today. 44-42 Pitt 10 and change to go.

Coors Light is decidedly NOT the world's most refreshing beer. Switching to whiskey.

4:48 Isiah Brown with a huge dunk on perfect penetration and the world is no longer revolving around it's axis.

A little Robert Frost for that ass from ole Raff. Thanks, man.

4:51 Pitt takes a five point lead. ETSU needs a bucket soon. Really very soon. Timeout on the floor. Time for a shot of Jameson. I think I might be drunker than Richard Buckner when I go see him tonight. That's a feat. DRUNJ

4:55 Huge three for Pitt, then they do that thing where they refuse to play interior defense. I said, this week, that their bigs could frustrate anyone in the country. Then, I flew without wings, ran without legs and began the systematic destruction of the economy without a bubble. SAM YOUNG DID SOMETHING. 56-50 Pitt, 6 to go.

"Basketball without dominion, providence, and final causes, is nothing else but fate and nature."
—Alexander Pope

5:01 So, ETSU is down by 7, time to fold. Except, they get an and-one underneath. I just don't understand Pitt's underneath HOLY FUCK THEY HIT A THREE ON ANOTHER OFFENSIVE REBOUND AND A TURNOVER AND OH LORD LET US BELIEVE 59-57, Pitt under 4 to go.

5:03 D-Blair continues to be the only human in a Pitt uni that cares to make basketball look like a sport with consistency. Not gonna lie to you, I hate him right now. Pitt's about to go up 5 again.

OK, 19 offensive boards? Pitt has no collective penis.

5:08 ETSU cuts the margin to a single possession, but Fields has his best play of the game by far to bring it to 5. Getting to 2 minutes left. Pitt wastes some time, an entire possession and makes a stuuuuuuupid foul.

Pitt hits a three and puts this thing in serious doubt for ETSU. I'll say it. Pitt is going to win this game, but they don't deserve it. They walked around and made stupid decisions and won because they had more talent. Fuck a bracket, fuck fandom, this was Pitt deciding they didn't have to try until there were 3 minutes left. I hate that shit. I officially hope Pitt loses to anyone that isn't UNC. Pitt 70-61, 43 seconds to go.

"Pittsburgh is a hole."
— Andrew Marvell

Hey, this was fun. I hope I wasn't too intrusive and entertained everyone. Much love to all of you for following along. Pitt wins it, but ETSU gets all the credit for one night, at least. May god have mercy on our s

2) The Oakland Zoo is to Pitt as the Cameron Crazies are to Duke. You know, minus the pretentiousness. I'd go on with the comparisons, but we were given strict instructions to leave our dick jokes at the door. During home games, and possibly when just hanging out, members of the zoo can be seen wearing animal costumes, telling Jim Calhoun to sit down and enticing football recruits to commit via signing a dry-erase board. LeSean McCoy credited this stunt with getting him to commit to Pitt. Unfortunately that trick didn't work on Tyrell Pryor. But, what sets our student section apart from any other are the gold shirts worn by everyone in attendance. Not the shirts themselves, but the fact that the founders of the Zoo were once entrenched in a legal battle with the Pitt Stop (a street vendor on campus) over a copyright issue involving said shirts. It may or may not have gone to the Supreme Court. Also, the proceeds of the t-shirt sales now go to charity. Which is nice.

3) A Season of Firsts When Boston College beat North Carolina on January 4th this year, there was probably more celebrating in Oakland that night than in Chestnut Hill. With UNC's loss, Pitt became the heir apparent to the #1 ranking for the first time in the program's history. They went on to hold that distinction on two separate occasions for a grand total of 3 weeks. Their second rise to #1 coincided with another first for the program. Hasheem Thabeet and the UConn Huskies picked themselves up off their home floor in mid-February just in time to see Pitt win their first game ever against a #1 ranked team (beating themselves at Louisville a couple weeks earlier didn't count). Pitt now heads into the NCAA tournament after claiming another first during this historic season. Here's hoping their first #1 seed in March doesn't coincide with the first 16 seed to win a game. Unless it's UNC. — whowantsawanstacheride (The Mosh Pitt)

EAST TENNESSEE STATE BUCCANEERS

1) What? The East Tennessee State University Buccaneers are the Atlantic Sun Conference champs. They can be found during the regular season playing in the Mini-Dome in Johnson City, TN. The Bucs's last NCAA tournament appearances were in 2003 and 2004. This completely land-locked school located in the mountains of Tennessee near the NC and VA state lines claims to be located on top of an underground river named Pirate Creek, giving themselves the right to a mascot that looks like Davey Jones in "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest"

2) Who? Senior forward Kevin Tiggs, senior guard Courtney Pigram and junior guard Mike Smith led the team in points this season. Tiggs and Pigram carried the team in their push to win the conference tournament. If Pigram can make his 3's, then the team may have a shot to upset Pitt. Of course, the game may be fun to watch with Kevin Smith's showmanship.

3) Why? Courtney Pigram will also be interesting with his ability to shoot from well behind the arc and fragile temperament. He had a bad five game stretch in February in which the team lost 4 of 5 games. Boosters organized a grassroots email campaign of "support and encouragement." The school's administration even cooperated by organizing pre-game chants focused on boosting his confidence at the Feb. 26 game against Kennesaw State. Pigram also remembers working out with Tyler Hansbrough at 3 Rivers Community College in Poplar Bluff, MO. His report of the encounter, "I didn't know who he was, but he knew who I was." — Rachel Thomasson

Join the Deadspin Pants Party Group Pool [ESPN]
Download the Deadspin Bracket [PDF or JPG]

It turns out that their Achilles' Heel—fouls on the big man—is the same as UConn's, the team they unseated to earn the No. 1 ranking. Flavor of the week DeJuan Blair had a decent night against Providence, but was limited by second half foul trouble and the Friars (which led by as much as 20) held off a rally to knock off the nation's "top" team. This drops the Panthers out of a first-place tie in the Big East, moves Providence into the upper half of the conference (and back in line for a tourney bid) and gives people who concern themselves with excessive student celebrations something to think about.

This will also end Pitt's second brief stint as the No. 1 ranked team in all the land. Judging by the way they handle such success, it's probably for the best.

Friars Shock #1 Pittsburgh! [Friar Blog]
RTC Aftermath: Providence 81, Pittsburgh 73 [Rush The Court]
stfhoops: Providence: Most violent f ... [STF Twitter]

#6 Marquette 74, #11 Kentucky 66.
The only exciting game of the second session, the Wildcats and Golden Eagles went punch-for-punch most of the game. About midway through the second half, however, Marquette started to take the lead for good behind clutch shots by shooting guard/cyborg Jerel McNeal. A Herculean effort from Joe Crawford kept Kentucky within striking distance, but Marquette managed to keep their opponent at arm's length until the final whistle. The Golden Eagles will face the winner of Stanford in the next round.

#6 Purdue 90, #11 Baylor 79
#4 Pitt 82, #13 Oral Roberts 63
#8 UNLV 71, #9 Kent State 58

Might as well pile these three games together; all of them were over by halftime. Purdue's victory was a textbook example of total team effort. Five players scored in double figures, and everyone who played any minutes scored at least eight points.

For Oral Roberts, today's lesson was from the Book of Job. After leading 3-0, and holding their own in the opening minutes, the Panthers went on a huge run and never looked back, nearly doubling up on their opponent at the half. Lavance Fields led the way with 23 points, and Pitt moves on to face Michigan State.

Kent State's first half can best be described as record-breaking offensive futility. Their 10 points were the fewest for a half in the NCAA Tournament since the shot clock era began. UNLV blew them away, and Lon Kruger's giant killers will now face Kansas in the second round.

And it looks like the Stanford game is also over by halftime. Take a breather, and enjoy the night games.

#1 Memphis vs. #16 Texas-Arlington.
• UTA Mavericks are making their first trip to the NCAA tournament.
• Mavs got here by playing schools named Schriener, Hardin Simmons, and Texas-Permian Basin.
• Memphis has gone 8-1 against other teams who made the Dance.
The Pick: Memphis

#2 Texas vs. #15 Austin Peay.
• Longhorns have beaten top-seeded tourney teams Tennessee, UCLA, and Kansas this season.
• One of the teams they lost to, Michigan State, is in this bracket. WEVENGE!!!
• Peay is loaded with upperclassmen, and led by wily coach Dave Loos (18 years at AP). The Govs ran up 82 points against bracket-mate Memphis this season, but yielded 104 on the other end.
The Pick: Texas

#3 Stanford vs. #14 Cornell.
• Cornell drew the first NCAA bid this season by going 14-0 in the Ivy League.
• The Big Red have their own giant in seven-foot St. Bonaventure transfer Jeff Foote, but they drew a school that puts both 7' Lopez brothers on the floor at the same time.
• Neither team scores in bunches, so this could be like watching a Teddy Bear climb a Tree for forty minutes.
The Pick: Stanford.

#4 Pittsburgh vs. #13 Oral Roberts.
• Pitt began the season on an eleven-game winning streak. If they can finish it the same way (five and counting as of today), they'll have a snazzy new trophy for their case.
• The Panthers tore through three ranked and higher-seeded teams to take the Big East tournament auto-bid.
• Oral Roberts hasn't fared too well against power-conference teams this season, losing to tournament-bound Texas A&M, Arkansas, and Texas in the early season.
The Pick: Pitt.

#5 Michigan State vs. #12 Temple.
• The Spartans are an enigma this season. They scored just 36 points at Iowa in January, then hung 103 on Indiana in March. Lord knows which team shows up.
• Everybody knows Drew Neitzel, but sophomore Raymar Morgan is Michigan State's most prolific scorer (14 ppg) and rebounder (6.3 rpg).
• It's Christmas time in Philly, as local hero Dionte Christmas has racked up a 20-point-plus scoring average this year and can bomb from deep. But the gifts are also coming from another local, Mark Tyndale, who dishes out 4.2 assists per game.
The Pick: Temple

#6 Marquette vs. #11 Kentucky.
• Freshman sensation Patrick Patterson was averaging over 35 minutes per game for the Wildcats before suffering a stress fracture that has shelved him for the postseason.
• Marquette's tallest player is Ousmane Barro, a 6'10" Senegalese who averages 5 points per game, just over one block per game, and has five fouls to give.
• Kentucky head coach Billy Gillispie hasn't had to remove a flaming bag of dog poop from his front porch since February's blowout loss to Vanderbilt. So that's nice.
The Pick: Marquette

#7 Miami vs. #10 St. Mary's.
• Hurricane fans are really hoping we won't have to see that (FL) thing any more, since Miami (OH) didn't make it to the tournament.
• Aussie Patrick Mills gets all the press, but St. Mary's is loaded, with Diamon Simpson scoring (13 ppg) and rebounding (9 rpg), Omar Samhan clogging the lane, and Todd Golden playing the role of annoying white jump-shooter.
• Picked to finish last in the ACC this year, Miami instead knocked off tournament teams Duke and Clemson en route to a 22-win season.
The Pick: St. Mary's

#8 Mississippi State vs. #9 Oregon.
• Why I'm Warming Up to Oregon: I have my reasons.
• Tyler Hansbrough's younger brother Ben plays for the Bulldogs. Isn't that cute?
• Mississippi State's tenacious rebounding is, well, Bulldog-esque. Jamont Gordon, Charles Rhodes, and Jarvis Varnado have each notched double-figure rebounding games this season.
The Pick: Mississippi State

Predictions

Round of 32: Memphis gets past the Bulldogs. Temple succumbs to Pitt. Stanford dominates inside to get past Marquette. Texas handles St. Mary's.

Sweet 16: Pitt continues to surprise by taking down Memphis. Texas ekes out enough offense against Stanford's elite D to move on.

Regional Final: Texas vs. Pitt, with the Longhorns heading to the Final Four, where they party like it's 2003.

Regional MOP: D.J. Augustin.

PITTSBURGH PANTHERS

1. No one recruits NY like Pitt. Pitt coaches regularly take trips to New York and hand out the majority of their scholarships to the best players they can find. On this year's team, five players are from the NYC area, including starters Levance Fields, Ronald Ramon and Keith Benjamin. No wonder Pitt plays so well at Madison Square Garden. Their record there since 2001 is 20-8. Isiah, eat your heart out.

2. Always a bridesmaid. Yeah, that's Pitt for sure. Pitt has appeared in several Big East championship games and has won only once. Things don't get much better when the NCAA tourney starts. If there's been any consistency in this program the last seven years, it's been Pitt's tendency to get to the dance and not advance past the first week. The latest disappointment/kick in the balls: former Pitt coach Ben Howland and UCLA sent the Panthers packing in the Sweet 16 on route to a Final Four appearance.

3. The beast of the Big East is a freshman and wears a Pitt jersey. Dejuan Blair, who played his high school ball in a gym just off campus, was third in the league in rebounding and fifth in steals. Blair took home Rookie of the Year honors in the conference as a 6'7" center. Feel free to refer to him as "The Grizzly Blair." — Pat Sehn

ORAL ROBERTS GOLDEN EAGLES

1. Three In A Row. It's the third consecutive tournament appearance for the Golden Eagles, and their seed seems to grow each year. Two years ago, they were a No. 16 seed, and one major national basketball analyst predicted them to beat No. 1 seed Memphis. (Didn't happen.) In 1973, the team reached the Elite Eight before losing to Kansas in overtime. Kansas is now coached by Bill Self, who started his coaching career at ORU, back before he wore a toupee.

2. Parting The Red Defense. The Golden Eagles were led in scoring by Robert Jarvis (not the guy who invented the artificial heart), but it was led to the tournament by Biblically named Moses Ehambe, who was the Summit League Tourney MVP. He was also his Arlington, Texas high school prom king.

3. Bears Repeating. I mention this in their tournament preview every year, because it absolutely must be mentioned any time the Golden Eagles are mentioned anywhere for anything. The school was indeed founded (and humbly named) by Oral Roberts, who is most famous, of course, for telling his parishioners in 1986 that if they did not raise $8 million by March of that year, God would "call him home. (Sadly, we didn't get to find out if Roberts really had such a conversation with the Almighty; they hit the number.) Roberts has claimed to have personally raised the dead and, last year, said that a vision of a "cloud over New York" has told him Christ is coming soon. (After he dies, Roberts has told followers that he plans to return and rule the world with Christ.)" — Will Leitch

Join The Deadspin Pool.
Download The Deadspin Printable Bracket. (PDF)

2. Always a bridesmaid. Yeah, that's Pitt for sure. Pitt has appeared in several Big East championship games and has won only once. Things don't get much better when the NCAA tourney starts. If there's been any consistency in this program the last seven years, it's been Pitt's tendency to get to the dance and not advance past the first week. The latest disappointment/kick in the balls: former Pitt coach Ben Howland and UCLA sent the Panthers packing in the Sweet 16 on route to a Final Four appearance.

3. The beast of the Big East is a freshman and wears a Pitt jersey. Dejuan Blair, who played his high school ball in a gym just off campus, was third in the league in rebounding and fifth in steals. Blair took home Rookie of the Year honors in the conference as a 6'7" center. Feel free to refer to him as "The Grizzly Blair." — Pat Sehn

The Realests ranks Wannstedt No. 2 on the list of bad coaches, but we think every compelling case puts him at the top. Let's relive, shall we?

• After glomming onto Jimmy Johnson's name as Cowboys defensive coordinator, Wannstedt just missed getting the Steelers job that went to Bill Cowher.

• Hired by the Bears, he was put in charge of personnel decisions, despite never having served as a head coach. He went 41-57 in six years, with one playoff appearance.

• Undaunted, he was hired by the Dolphins to replace Johnson, who had provided him with an outstanding roster that he commenced decimating, most famously drafting two first-round picks for Ricky Williams. He was fired after running the team into a 4-12 hole in 2004.

• With the opportunity to reinvent himself, Pete Carroll-esque, at his alma mater of Pittsburgh, Wannstedt is 13-14 in two-plus years and lost by 20 to Connecticut at home this week.

If Wannstedt were hired by FOX to do TV, he'd follow Johnson around all day, getting him coffee, which he would then spill on Terry Bradshaw.

The Ten Worst Football Coaches [The Realests]

UCLA

1. Oh, just the two hottest women on the planet are in our corner. Have you ever wanted to have a threesome with Jessica Alba and Brooke Burke? Well, if you're a UCLA fan, now you can! See, Miss Alba currently dates Cash Warren, whose dad, Mike Warren, has two NCAA Championship rings from his basketball days at UCLA. Combine that with her SoCal roots, and you'll find that she's a huge UCLA fan. Next up we have Ms. Burke. Rick Majerus knows her best as the succulent host of E!'s late night series, "Wild On...," where she and other scantily-clad women frolicked around the globe providing ample amounts of spank-bank material. Prior to that, Brooke was a student at UCLA, studying Broadcast Journalism and modeling on the side. Obviously, she also is a huge UCLA fan. So therefore, the next time you see Jessica and Brooke out on the town together, throw on a Bruins hat, start singing "Sons of Westwood," do an 8-clap, and let the m nage-a-trois ensue! Bonus Fact: Brooke's "Wild On..." predecessor, Jules Asner, is also a UCLA alum - make it a m nage-a-quatre!

2. Staying on the topic of incredible breasts. One of the best kept secrets in Westwood is that all Playboy Mansion parties begin and end at UCLA. The mansion is located at 10236 Charing Cross Road in Beverly Hills, about a mile from campus. Google Earth it. You'll see that there is very limited parking on the premises, so whenever Hugh hosts a big event, cars need somewhere to park. The solution: UCLA Lot 7. The guest list is handled in the underground parking lot, and once you get your wristband, you jump on a shuttle and get whisked away to the Mansion. Pretty sweet, huh? I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Pitt & Kansas' parking lots are used for similar awesome events such as tours of abandoned steel factories and the annual Lawrence Barbecue & Hoedown Festival.

3. No. 100. Every college has its own commercial that gets aired once during televised basketball or football games. Most of these suck. The UCLA one always sucked, but a new one started airing about a month ago, and it's pretty badass:

Even though we've got more National Championships than every other school, we're sick of being stuck on 99. Four different sports have come up just shy of trophy #100 since last May. Conveniently, our marquee sport now gets the shot to bring home the century mark. Destiny?? We'll find out soon enough. GO BRUINS!!!

P.S. Attention UCLA Band: If we play Kansas, whatever you do, DO NOT play "Carry on my Wayward Son." You screwed this up in 2002 and you better not do it again! — Trevor Gribble

PITTSBURGH

1. Simply put, Sam Young is a beast. He doesn't start and oftentimes he's not even the first guy off the bench. Regardless he's often the difference between victory and defeat. On a team centered around a stoic inside presence and a heavy dose of outside shooting, Young uses his raw athleticism to catch the defense off guard. Of course this is nothing new to those in the DC area. Young famously promised to do back flips if his Friendly High School team won a second consecutive Maryland state title. That season he averaged 24.6 points and 14 rebounds per game. They won the the championship and Young kept his promise before heading to Pitt. Just another example of Gary Williams' inept recruiting.

2. Ben's Daughter. I attended Pitt and my brother is a UCLA grad, so there's a bit of discord within the family, but we've got nothing on the Howlands. Stuck in the middle is Coach Ben's lovely daughter Meredith. She's currently enrolled at Pitt where she used to be a cheerleader. Since her parents moved to Westwood, she's become even closer with their closest friends, Jamie Dixon's family. When Howland was asked who she was supporting he indicated that she was loyal to her father. Meredith, you're dead to me.

3. Can't Get Here Before. You know glass ceilings aren't just for ball-busting corporate types, Pitt has bumped into the Sweet 16's invisible barrier three times in five years. It all started back in March of 2002. I was a bright eyed freshmen (until I spent six months living in Tower C) when Ben Howland's reconstruction of the basketball program led to a glorious tournament run. The Sweet 16 paired us against Trevor Huffman and his Kent State Golden Flashes. But on this night it was not Huffman that would draw my ire; his name was Antonio Gates. 22 points 8 rebounds and 4 assists. He shot 7/11 from the field and an ultimately devastating 8/9 from the line. I assumed he was going to be a pro, I just never thought he'd be an All Pro. — unsilent majority

First Three UCLA Tidbits [Deadspin]
First Three Pittsburgh Tidbits [Deadspin]

PITTSBURGH PANTHERS

1. The Name Game. Pitt's starting lineup includes a lanky Canadian forward with stupid lines shaved in his head and a compact cornrowed point guard formerly of the famed New York Gauchos AAU team. One is named Levance and another is named Levon, but can you tell which is which?

2. Tarzana Of The Pennsylvanians. To understand Aaron Gray you must understand where he came from. Although raised as a Pennsylvanian he was born in Tarzana, Calif. It all makes sense when you take into account his towering presence and his body hair that refuses to be tamed. Of course in Hebrew the word "tarzan" translates as "dandy, fop, coxcomb" (via Wiki). Obviously Gray is a gentile-giant, but some NBA GM's might say he's lived up to the chosen people's description all to well.

3. Basketball Been Berry Berry Good. Pitt has become a prime destination for Dominican ballers going back to the days of Jaime Peterson. More recently the team featured Ricardo Greer who has parlayed his skills into a solid Euroleague career. He currently teams up with ex-NCAA standouts like Aaron Miles, Britton Johnson, and Michael Wright. The torch is currently carried by the team's top shooter, Ronald Ramon, and assistant coach (and former star player) Orlando Antigua who will forever be known as the first hispanic Globetrotter. — unsilent majority

WRIGHT STATE RAIDERS

1. Go Vikings...err...Coyotes...err...Raiders? Since this is only Wright State's second trip to the Big Dance, not many people know much about the school. Despite what Wright State's logo entails, their mascot is the Raider. It is not coyotes or even their circa 1993 mascot, a viking.

2. It's Vitaly's world...we're just living in it. Vitaly Potapenko is Wright State's most famous basketball alumni. The Cleveland Cavaliers selected him #12 overall in the 1996 NBA draft. In the words of GOB Bluth, "They made a huge mistake." Fans of the Celtics, Supersonics and Kings also have the same sentiments.

3. The Wright State University of Las Vegas? Despite only being in Division I since 1991, Wright State has been marked with scandal. In 1996, with a stellar 356-159 record (74-71 in Division 1), Ralph Underhill was fired for allegedly stealing five bottles of vitamins from a Dayton-area grocery store. He was never convicted of the crime (he took a plea bargain). In 2006, after only three years at Wright State, Paul Biancardi was asked to resign and instead was fired for his involvement with Jim O'Brien and the Ohio State basketball scandal. — Scott DeMange

Join The Deadspin Pool!
Deadspin Printable Bracket [PDF]
Complete NCAA Tournament Schedule

2. Tarzana Of The Pennsylvanians. To understand Aaron Gray you must understand where he came from. Although raised as a Pennsylvanian he was born in Tarzana, Calif. It all makes sense when you take into account his towering presence and his body hair that refuses to be tamed. Of course in Hebrew the word "tarzan" translates as "dandy, fop, coxcomb" (via Wiki). Obviously Gray is a gentile-giant, but some NBA GM's might say he's lived up to the chosen people's description all to well.

3. Basketball Been Berry Berry Good. Pitt has become a prime destination for Dominican ballers going back to the days of Jaime Peterson. More recently the team featured Ricardo Greer who has parlayed his skills into a solid Euroleague career. He currently teams up with ex-NCAA standouts like Aaron Miles, Britton Johnson, and Michael Wright. The torch is currently carried by the team's top shooter, Ronald Ramon, and assistant coach (and former star player) Orlando Antigua who will forever be known as the first hispanic Globetrotter. — unsilent majority

Every Day Should Be Saturday, whose daily brilliance might be what we'll miss most about college football once it's gone, directs us to this clip from last night's West Virginia-Pittsburgh game, in which quarterback Pat White does his best impersonation of Halle Berry in Catwoman. It's one thing to destroy a team; it's another to openly mock their stupid pumped-in crowd noise. We approve this message.

Pat White Roars [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

Younger Deadspinners might not remember it, but Ironhead's Zest commercial was a true television classic. Ironhead, as his nickname may indicate, had a reputation, of course, as a big, strong, bruising type of fellow. And Zest wanted to sell body wash to men, so they enlisted the help of Heyward, who was brilliant in the spot. He held up the little loofa sponge, and said in a high-pitched, mock-feminine voice, "But Ironhead, what's with this thingy?" Below is one man's attempt to reproduce the commercial, and it's a damn solid effort.

Congress To Ironhead: 'What's With This Thingy?' [The Onion]
Craig "Ironhead" Heyward Passes Away [The Realests]
SAY "CHEESE!" - SUNDAY [Rivalfish]

• In 2003, his girlfriend gave birth to his son, and then promptly left him. He rarely sees the child now, and is paying child support.
• A month later, his apartment caught fire and all of his things were destroyed.
• A month after that, his best friend, Pitt WR Billy Gaines did in his arms after falling from the rafters of a church. A pastor had been serving them wine. They were both underage.
• He, quite understandably, missed the first four kicks of the year, and thus, his starting job.
• In 2004, he was in a car accident that broke his kicking leg in three places.
• And now, the heart thing.

Ouch. Life may owe this guy a few things. If there's any justice in the world, he'll win the starting job at Pitt this year and go on to have an NFL career that makes Adam Vinatieri look like Bill Gramatica.

Abdul's life falls into disarray [Post-Gazette.com]

And somewhere, Allan Ray is watching the game and thinking, "Hey, I feel you, Bradley guy."

You also should check out the liveblogging of this game over at PittPantherHoops.com. It's always fun when someone liveblogs the process of shitting bricks, as I'd imagine he's doing right about now.

Why? Why would this happen? Why wouldn't CBS distribute them a little more evenly, so we can all see as much competitive basketball as possible? If three of the 2:00 games are tight, you miss two of them. And if Brad/Pitt sucks, you've got no other options. I don't understand.

Bradley vs. Pitt, however, thus far does not suck. Bradley jumped out to a big lead, but Pitt bounced back when Carl Krauser went to the bench, as they often do. Bradley leads 30-29 at the half, and they've actually been killing Pitt inside.

It's now halftime, where I'm forced to watch Clark Kellog and Seth Davis, and not another game.

PITTSBURGH

1. Show Biz, Baby. Pitt head coach Jamie Dixon and associate head coach Barry Rohrssen are both members of the Screen Actor's Guild. Orlando Antigua, currently the director of basketball operations and also former Pitt player, was the first and only Harlem Globetrotter of Latin American decent. Rohrssen, nicknamed "slice," appeared in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross, with an all-star cast that included Al Pacino, Jack Lemmon and Ed Harris. Dixon, in his early 20s, got dunked on by a girl in a Bud Light commercial.

2. Oh Canada. Starting forward Levon Kendall hails from Vancouver, B.C, and he loves his country. Kendall scored 40 points and grabbed 12 rebounds against team USA while playing for team Canada in the 2005 FIBA U21 World Championship. Team Canada won 93-90 in overtime. Team USA included J.J. Redick and Rudy Gay.

3. Pitt Loves Puns. Junior walk-on guard Charles Small, listed at 5-foot-7, is one of the smallest players in college basketball. Freshman center Tyrell Biggs is 6-8, 260 lbs. Small has scored one point in his college career, a free throw against Howard in '04. Biggs is seeing limited time in his first collegiate season. But those are the obvious ones; Mike Cook, has in fact cooked, and Sam Young, who just turned 21, is not very old. Aaron Gray however, is white. — Keith Wehmeyer

KENT STATE

1. More Likely To Get Attention From Mel Kiper Than Tim Legler. Only one Kent State basketball player is currently in the NBA. That lucky gentleman is Atlanta Hawks backup center John Edwards. KSU's hoops team has produced a slightly more recognizable athlete in the NFL: Chargers' tight end Antonio Gates, who didn't even play football in college. Maybe their basketball players should suit up in helmets and pads. Their football team in the past four years is 14-32.

2. Odds Are Neil Young Never Wrote A Song About Your School. Kent State infamously made national headlines in 1970 when members of the Ohio National Guard opened fire on student demonstrators, killing four. So if you didn't know what Neil Young meant when he sang the lyric "four dead in Ohio," now you do. But while the college may be forever synonymous with those tragic shootings, the basketball team would like to be known for improbable tournament runs. In 2002 — their last NCAA tournament appearance — the Golden Flashes upset teams all the way to the Elite Eight, where they lost to national runners up Indiana.

3. The Golden Flashes? That's A Weird Name. Kent State's mascot, according to their athletic site, is "a topic of debate," meaning it was likely a drug-induced name. Their suited-up mascot is a golden eagle, which isn't as ridiculous. An eagle has nothing to do with a flash, but would you really want their cheers led by a guy in a giant camera suit? Perhaps a better mascot would be Napoleon Dynamite, who bears a striking resemblance to KSU's sixth man Kevin Warzynski. — Matthew Sussman

Deadspin Printable Bracket (PDF) (JPG version)
Join The Deadspin Pool!
NCAA Tournament First Round Schedule [Deadspin]
Complete Deadspin First Round Matchup Previews [Deadspin]

But that's only possible since Ray is apparently going to be fine. They're calling it a "soft tissue" injury, there was no damage to the cornea, he required no stitches, and he can see. He was expected to be released from the hospital this morning and is considered day-to-day. A round of applause to the Big East doctor who attended to Ray immediately.

It was Pitt's Carl Krauser who hit Ray in the eye. Inadvertently, of course. "I just seen him hit the floor, cover his eye and holding it. I thought I hit him in his head because my finger is kind of swollen." Krauser then showed the media his swollen finger. Please keep this brave warrior in your prayers. He may be masturbating with his non-dominant hand for days or even weeks.

Ray OK, could return as early as next week [ESPN.com]
Big Scare For Allan Ray & Nova [The 700 Level]