•Not only do SEC replay booths not use HD screens, but they say it's not worth making the switch. Also, that play where Patrick Peterson clearly stayed in bounds? They accidentally DVR'd The Mentalist over it.

•Want to know what makes Sidney Crosby so good? Evgeni Malkin. In the sixth game without the real MVP in the lineup, Sid The Kid extended his point-less streak to five games, and the Pens fell to Boston.

•A four-minute replay review overturned Brad Miller's buzzer-almost-beater, and Denver hung on to top Chicago. Imagine that! The length of the game was extended in order to make the right call, and no one's calling for David Stern's head! You listening, Selig? Of course you're not. You fell asleep halfway through Leno.

•What's Larry Johnson worth? Not moving to the bottom of the waiver wire. No one claimed the, um, expressive RB, and he's free to sign anywhere. Except with the Chiefs. My sources tell me they have no plans of signing him.

•If Mauer, Jeter and Teixeira were hoping their defense would set them apart in the MVP race, well...all three won Gold Gloves. Also, Placido Polanco emerges as a dark horse candidate.

•A judge has blocked North Dakota from changing their nickname from the Fighting Sioux. In these trying times, with two wars being fought, it's just insensitive to name a team the Fighting anythings.

•The Tribune's Rick Morrissey said Joakim Noah would never be a useful player, and promised to eat the column if he was proven wrong. Well...

At the end of Pittsburgh's 5-4 win over the Flyers, Letang and Hartnell got into a scrum along the boards. As of yet we don't have the definitive camera angle, but Letang came out of it showing the ref his fingers, and appeared to mouth "he bit me."

Penguins coach Dan Bylsma was incensed, and after the game Letang offered only curt replies to reporters:

We'll stay on this, so please send any visual evidence our way.

This does not count:

Just follow the lead of Ryan Kraft, a Dayton-area Penguins fan who was out Joe Louis Arena on the night the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. As the team skated the Cup around the ice, he decided to get closer to the action to take a picture. Then he got closer. Clooooooser. Then he just walked right out on to the ice and joined the fray. No problem.

In the delirium of the moment, no one really seemed to notice or care that one of the team's "family members" was taking fanboy pictures with everyone he could, stealing champagne bottles, and kissing the Red Wings logo at center ice. And when the party headed back to locker room, he just waltzed right in with everyone else. More champagne, more autographs, got his picture taken with Mario Lemiuex and ... yep, that's him holding the Stanley Cup. Unbelievable.

It's both amazing (for this guy) and a little scary (for everyone else) that it's this easy to by pass the bouncers at a championship celebration. Why spend all that effort learning to play hockey at a world-class level when you can just wait for somebody else to win the Stanley Cup and then take it from them? It's so much easier that way.

Centerville grad crashed Penguins' Cup party [Dayton Daily News]

The page sent out a message this week about a poor city park in Minneapolis that had been "burned down" by angry gangs. So if Crosby's many fans could just send about $3,000, the park would be rebuilt or something and in exchange they would all get game-used autographed sticks. Oh, and if instead of writing a check to the Parks Deptaremnt or Crosby you could Western Union the money to "small time professional wrestler" Stephanie Biddlecom that would really be super.

Oh, where to begin. Of course, it's not Sidney. The man has $3,000 in the cushions of his couch. The postage on the sticks would cost more than that. At least the park actually exists, but naturally, there's nothing wrong with it.

The beautiful part is that even after being called out by the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, Biddlecom continued to insist that it was all true. She says she met Crosby when his cousin began dating her sister and that she speaks to him almost everyday. That is dedication to the role. In fact, I'd say there's at least a 70% chance Biddlecom (pictured above) truly believes Sidney Crosby is her friend. Even Tommy Flanagan wouldn't go that far.

The fake Crosby page was actually debunked months ago by a couple of female hockey fans when they proved that Fake Sid was chatting with them online, while Real Sid was playing in a hockey game on their TVs. Also, those two women are not morons.

Biddlecom—who apparently grapples in Minneapolis gymnasiums under the name "Cerise Keller"—told the paper she's raised $2,250 dollars since Monday, but like everything else in her sad little world, that's probably a lie too. I really hope it is, anyway, because if anyone fell for this dopey plot then humanity is finished.

Crosby not involved in MySpace page about him that seeks $3000 [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]
Crosby impersonated on MySpace for 'fabricated' fundraiser [Puck Daddy]

Look at the size of this place. He has to have ponies and lemurs running around on that property. Latvian princes could get married there, if they just so happened to be in Sewickley, Pa.

And now they hit the pool. I imagine floating blissfully in a hockey legend's pool, head resting on the Stanley Cup on a warm June evening, would be totally exceptional on 'shrooms.

Seriously, like, exceptional.

Who do you think has a better chance of answering a simple multiplication question: The bimbsy on the left, Malkin, the wide-eyed teenager, or Malkin's hat.

Okay, if the kids swam near me while I was on 'shrooms, chilling with the Stanley Cup in the pool, then I'd probably lose my shit and drown. Just way too much to handle.

So I'd jump out of the pool, raid Lemieux's wine cellar, but then probably freak myself out even more because I'd be afraid some Eyes Wide Shut-like dude in a robe would sneak up behind me and ask me what the password is. I'd be all like, Fidellio? Feed-ello? Figaro? What is it? Then I'd faint. Anyway, thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Sing out loud to this.

So that's two years in a row that Hossa came ohsoclose to hoisting the Stanley Cup instead of his own petard doing likewise to him. Looking today, on June 13, it looks really foolish for Hossa to have gone from one team to the other.

As TSB's Adam Jacobi mentioned, Hossa did make the correct before-June-12 decision to sign with the best team with the best chance. The sequence of events made the team switch look really bad, but here's one thing to keep in perspective:

Four months. That's how long Hossa played for the Penguins. For years he played for the Ottawa Senators and Atlanta Thrashers, but he was a Penguin for four months. This wasn't a Johnny Damon situation where a longstanding fan favorite switched teams. This is more like a CC Sabathia situation, where players with lots of talent like signing with historically legendary teams. Or perhaps a Joe Lieberman situation. You mean you WERE a Democrat?

It wasn't a horrible move on June 13, either. An optimist would say that Hossa played with two teams in two years, both who reached the Stanley Cup Finals. But the decision, as of June 13, was probably a top three reason the series went the way it did, with the other reasons being the Red Wings injuries finally affecting the veteran players, and Marc-Andre Fleury using his limbs to block shots, rather than score them. Hossa did very little in the Stanley Cup, which means that perhaps signing with Pittsburgh would have helped Detroit repeat. Perhaps the Red Wings would do themselves well to trade Brad Stuart to Pittsburgh.

And he wasn't the only one to crossed Red Rover battle lines. How soon do we forget that backup goaltender Ty Conklin played for the Penguins last year? How about good luck charm Muhammad Ali being negated by the star of Twilight in attendance? And what of that Qdoba burrito that brought BGSU graduate and Penguins coach Dan Bylsma great fortune? Would Deadspin commenters agree* it's the best one available?

Requiem For A Marian Hossa [The Sporting Blog]
Is Ty Conklin Lucky Or Cursed? [FanHouse]
Muhammad Ali leads celebrity contingent at the Joe [Detroit Free Press]
Bylsma Brings Lucky Burrito To Detroit [Puck Daddy]

* - Of course not, because nobody comments on Deadspin anymore.

Congrats, naturally, to the Penguins who had a shaky season, struggled to get into the playoffs, but slowly pulled it all together and ended up the best team in the league. It only took one more miracle save from Marc-Andre Fleury as time expired—much like one Chris Osgood made last year—to put the Red Wings away. Detroit made an amazing final push, and sporting events don't get much more thrilling than those final 3 minutes, but Pittsburgh was the better team and they earned their title.

A couple of final thoughts:

• Sidney Crosby is now the youngest captain to win the Stanley Cup and few will remember he spent the second half of the game hunched over in pain on the bench. Or that he appeared to skip the handshake line? (Am I wrong, or were most of the Red Wings in the locker room while he was still hugging assistants? Update: I was not wrong.) Those who consider Crosby to be a spoiled, fortunate son probably won't change their mind after tonight, but that's their issue, I guess.

• Marian Hossa. Ouch.

• How many times can Gary Bettman walk on the ice—in any and every NHL city—to a chorus of merciless boos before he gets the hint? You're there to oversee the biggest moment of the year for your industry and the only thing everyone can agree on is that you are a villainous bum. What is he hanging on to?

• Seriously. Amazing finish. At least everyone still has the Pirates to beat up on.

Penguins hold off Red Wings to take third Stanley Cup [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

That was easy. Okay, back to the game. There isn't much to add other than to say that the bad news is that this monumental game is being played on a Friday night, but the good news is that NBA Finals are not also on at the same time. As hopeful as I've been about this season and these playoffs and what it could mean for a revival of hockey in this country, here's a painful reminder of how much further the NHL still has to go. Seattle's main NBC affiliate is not showing the game tonight so that they can bring you local news, followed by a rousing episode of Inside Edition. I mean, there's always another Game 7 right? (Sigh.)

Whatever your plans are tonight, I suggest they involve a restaurant/bar that has many large television screens in strategic locations. It's been a competitive, entertaining series (or not) and with any luck you'll get nice big sendoff to leave you wanting more in the fall. No predictions here; I just like to watch and you should too.

Stanley Cup Game 7 Bumped by KING-TV [Enjoy The Enjoyment]
The 10 people and things with the most pressure in Game 7 [Puck Daddy]
Win or lose, Hossa was still wrong [The Two-Line Pass]
Tonight, the Crap Fest Must End [Melt Your Face Off]
Ostertag digs hockey, longs for NBA [Arizona Republic]
BILL GUERIN VISITS THE ROWDY BBQ [Mondei's House]

You know, sometimes I'm amazed when there aren't good photos in the inbox. It's very disappointing. Thankfully, the fine young lads at Styles Points (we'll say via Best Pucking Bets) discovered this picture of Penguins' star Evgeni Malkin doing that thing that slimy Russians do when they have too much to drink. I have no idea when or where this photo is from. He could be 12 in it, for all I know.

Game 7 tomorrow night...

UPDATE: Anonymously submitted origins/explanations of the make-out moment: "That picture was taken at the NHL All-Star weekend this past February in Montreal. It was at The Hockey News party on the Friday night of the weekend."

UPDATED UPDATE: The members of the angry little Pensblog are all aTwitter over this thing and state that the picture is three years old and are flexing their little Penguin muscles.

Is at least 3 years old. We get it sent to us at least once a week or so.
Who ever told you it was taken in Feb is a joke.

Go Red Wings.

The ID of the lady being choked by the tongue is still in question.

******

Good morning. Save yourselves, it's Thursday. Sorry for the late start.

Also, it isn't really for sale yet. The web pages—like the shirts and hats that are given to the winning team in every sport—were created ahead of time and someone just figured out the code in their system. All is well.

If you really want to solve a mystery, figure out how Rob Scuderi blocked three shots in the crease in the final seconds without committing a penalty. He's like the American Doug Henning or something.

Shop NHL already has Pens, Wings Cup champs gear on sale [Puck Daddy]

The NHL will not allow the Red Wings to broadcast tonight's road match on the video screens at Joe Louis Arena as they have done in past years, nor will they allow Penguins fans to watch on the jumbo screens outside Mellon Arena, as they have been doing for most of the sold-out home games. All fans must watch hockey programing from inside their house, sitting in front of a pre-approved television screen on standard, store-bought furniture. Also, beer consumption will be cut off after the first six-pack and you are limited to one bag of Cool Ranch Doritos per period. That is final.

Of all the dumb ideas the NHL has shot itself in the foot with, this one is pretty high on the list. (Right below the glow puck, but above Eric Lindros.) Yes, the 19,000 people that could potentially fill Joe Louis Arena equal one entire rating point in the Detroit market, but how many of them do you think will actually be from Nielsen households? (Newsflash: TV ratings are a statistical joke that have no bearing on reality.) Anyone watching at an arena or a bar will still get to see your ridiculous beer and truck ads ... and most importantly they will still be watching. Wouldn't it mean more to your sport to show a sold out arena of fans watching a game that isn't even taking place in their city then whatever sort of brownie points you earn with the networks and their advertisers? Dumb.

Oh, and I guess there's a hockey game tonight too. The home team has won the first five, so despite the 5-0 trouncing of the Penguins last weekend, it should be a good one.

NBC and NHL: Partners in idiocy [Pittsburgh Post Gazette]
No deal: Wings can't get TV rights for Joe Vision tonight [Detroit Free Press]

After Detroit dominated the first two games, the tables slowly turned in Games 3 and 4, and now I don't know what to think about either team. They could do another 180 back at Joe Louis Arena this weekend, or Henrik Zetterberg could lay down at center ice and take a nap. By the middle of the second period last night the Penguins were two steps faster the Wings, scoring three goals in six minutes, mostly because the Wings couldn't get back on defense. Pittsburgh looked like a well-oiled machine and Detroit looked like a creaky, busted one, but they still have home-ice advantage, so maybe we'll get another seven-gamer out of this and NBC won't have to feel ashamed of itself.

Oh, and the two-headed Malkin/Crosby monster has finally awoken from its brief slumber so there's that too. How can both teams be so good, yet seem so unevenly matched ... and somehow we still can't tell which one has the advantage. Go the distance, as the voice says.

Penguins rally to tie Stanley Cup series with Detroit, 2-2 [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
After 2 home wins, Detroit allows eight goals on road [Detroit Free Press]
Crosby & Co. make this series no laughing matter [Albom]

As opposed to those non-series series you're always reading about. Personally, I think it was Pittsburgh's innovative "six men on the ice" strategy that turned the tide. The Penguins many not have scored a goal during the 30 seconds or so that their extra attacker skated penalty-free, but it's that kind of outside-the-box thinking that turns also-rans into champions.

And you know what turns champions into also-rans? Horrific penalty killing, which is exactly what the Red Wings have. They're killing at atrocious rate of 71% in the playoffs (the Thrashers were worst in the NHL this regular season and they were at 74%), but everything will be fine provided they don't commit any penalties ever again.

So now we have Game 4 on Thursday—opposite the NBA Finals; kudos once again to the schedulers—where Pittsburgh will either complete their comeback or sink back into oblivion, meaning it really was one of those fake series and not the actual kind we wanted.

Talbot scores twice, Malkin bags three assists, Gonchar gets winner [Post-Gazette]
Game 3 Highlights [NHL.tv]
Crosby puts intangibles on full display [NHL.com]
No love lost for ex-Pen Marian Hossa in Steel City [Free Press]

We're not saying the Penguins are in trouble. After losing the first two in Detroit last season they did push the Stanley Cup Finals to six games. But teams currently in Pittsburgh's situation—down 0-2 heading home for Game 3—are 1-for-32 in the Finals. So yeah, they're in trouble.

It doesn't help that Evgeni Malkin and Sidney Crosby have been stonewalled so far. One goal and one assist between them, and the goal was actually poked in by a Detroit defenseman. Chris Osgood has been phenomenal and Detroit's veterans have barely had to lift a finger. (Justin Abdelkader!) The one bit of good news for Pittsburgh is that the NHL's enforcement division can't even follow its own rules and will not suspend Malkin for his stick-swinging, jersey-ripping fight in the closing seconds last night. Instigators always get suspended, except when they don't!

But there's more bad news: No one is watching. NBC's ratings for Game 1 were down from NBC's first game last year, which was actually Game 3, which might be part of the problem but that's another story. This is a point that the NHL would prefer not to crow about, which is probably why the story was scrubbed from their website. If the series ends with a whimper on Versus this week, the league will have a lot more to think about this offseason.

Oh, and here's something for you to think about. Two Mitch Albom columns! It's a GM Bankruptcy Day miracle!

Penguins lose again in Detroit to fall behind, 2-0, in final [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
No suspension for Malkin; Inside Detroit's 2-0 lead on Penguins [Puck Daddy]
The NHL Does Not Care for Bad TV Ratings News [Orland Kurtenblog]
Bettman: State of the game positive, upbeat [NHL.com]
With a pair of 3-1 thrillers, Wings halfway to 12th Cup [Mitch Albom]
Wings have had luck on their side in Games 1 and 2 [More Mitch Albom!]