New York police say Christian Dudley shot himself in the knee. (He says he was robbed and shot in the back and the bullet lodged in his knee, but there's no other entry wounds.) And while they're not pressing charges, he's suing for $1 million for emotional distressed because they compared him to Burress.

As soon as I went into the precinct and I had the cuffs on they said, 'Oh, is this Plaxico?'" Dudley said. "And then when I was in the cell, while they processed me, they called me Plaxico, making fun of me."

Gerald Cohen, Dudley's lawyer, says the football star's accident planted the seed for cops' allegations.

"It is outrageous," he said. "They created this cockamamie theory with no evidence."

So Plax's name is now code for a specific crime of stupidity. Humiliating, but it could be worse. See:

•Being Christie-Whipped
•Taking a Davenport Dump
•Bagging a Brooke Hundley

Cops Compared Me With Troubled Ex-Giant Plaxico Burress, Says Shot Teen [NY Daily News]

We refer, of course, to the sweat pants in which Plaxico had supposedly secreted his Glock the night he capped himself in the thigh. Everyone had a chuckle over the sweat pants. This site did. Jon Stewart did. Patton Oswalt did. Gun play isn't funny, but sweat pants certainly are. And sweat pants in a strip club are very funny.

Last month, however, in an interview with ESPN's Jeremy Schaap, Plaxico took great pains to clarify that he was wearing jeans — black jeans — the night of the shooting. Earlier, the New York County District Attorney's Office had quietly come to the same conclusion:

BURRESS was carrying the pistol in the waistband of his jeans, with bullets in the magazine, a round in the chamber and no holster.

So why did we mistakenly believe he was wearing sweat pants? Whence came the sweat pants? Who put sweat pants on Plaxico Burress?

The earliest citation is a Dec. 1, 2008, New York Post story, authored by Murray Weiss, Larry Celona and Eric Lenkowitz, headlined, "PLAX BID TO KEEP HIS SHOT IN THE DARK." It is an otherwise fine piece of reportage that notes the following:

The players had arrived at the Latin Quarter at around midnight Saturday, and all walked through metal detectors - at which point, Burress informed security he had a gun.

He was then pulled aside and frisked, revealing a handgun tucked in the waistband of his sweatpants, sources said.

And who might those sources be? We e-mailed Celona, who replied:

Originally a detective said he was wearing sweats.

It was bad enough that Plaxico Burress faced felony charges and the probable end of his NFL career. But for the cops to turn him into both a poster boy for illegal gun possession and a national fashion don't? That is a bridge too far. I-Team's conclusion: Plax was railroaded.

Earlier today, it was believed he would plead "not guilty" during his arraignment hearing and thus drag the legal proceedings at least into next year. But since there was pretty much no way to convince a jury that he did not shoot himself in the leg with an illegal hand gun, he really had no choice but to cooperate and cut the best deal he could. A conviction would have meant a mandatory 3 1/2-year sentence under New York law, and as many as 15 years when combined with other charges.

More updates as we get them....

Plaxico Burress Pleads Guilty, Agrees to 2 Year Prison Term [1010 Wins]
PLAXICO BURRESS PLEADS GUILTY [New York Post]

When there's not a SICKO in need of shaming, Peyser skulks around courthouses watching the trials of minor celebrities.

Today she is OUTRAGED that Antonio Pierce TWEETED after testifying before a grand jury. He didn't Tweet about the Plaxico Burress incident, but, you know. He TWEETED! Instead of confessing to all the various crimes that Andrew Peyser knows he is guilty of! The nerve of this guy!

MINUTES after he told a grand jury he did nothing in the Plaxico Burress mess, Giants linebacker and fellow twit Antonio Pierce couldn't wait to post this cocky tweet on Twitter:

"Which way to ALBANY? someone just told me."

Yes, right. Very cocky. And "arrogant." And "wacky" and "ornery." And: "This idiot athlete clearly thinks a lot of himself." Because he is Tweeting, about how he is excited to play football, and how he hopes to play it very well, this fall.

We hope Andrea Peyser stays on the sports beat, because we would love to read her thoughts on Mutton Bustin'.

Plaxico Burress appeared in court today so that a judge could tell him not to come back to court again. His case has been adjourned until September, at which point it will go before a grand jury—where he will almost certainly be indicted—and that means the actual guilty/not guilty trial will probably not take place until next year. It may seem like mindless legal maneuvering, but it actually makes a very big difference to Burress.

Plaxico's lawyers claim that Roger Goodell cannot suspend Plaxico Burress until he has actually been convicted of something. So by moving the trial back to February or later, he could conceivably play the entire 2009 season before any verdict is handed down. The NFL, however, doesn't necessarily agree with that interpretation of the player conduct policy. The league may try to suspend him anyway (followed by a lengthy grievance process with the Player's Association), but (maybe) can't do that until he's actually signed by a team. And no one will sign a guy if they think he's going to be suspended. And round and round we go...

No one can know what lurks in the mind King Goodell, but now every non-baseball sport has called it a season, you will be forced to ponder these questions until late August.

Burress Gun Case Adjourned Until September [NY Times]
Plaxico Burress of New York Giants appears in court, gun case adjourned until September 23 [ESPN]
Jets 'main team' for Plaxico [NY Post]

Burress was pulled over for speeding and cutting through traffic on I-95 in Florida back on March 18th. When the officer approached his car, Burress was talking on his cellphone and then flew off the handle when the officer opened his car door to get a better look inside.

"F- - - you! You're going to be in a lot of trouble. I know the sheriff personally," the receiver raged at Broward County Deputy Sheriff Donald Harris during the March 18 traffic stop, police said.

The embattled gridder (right) ... followed every question and command with a "F- - - you," according to the citation.

That's nice. (Oh, and the sheriff claims he they've never met. Of course.) Keep in mind this happened while the guy is still awaiting trail on a gun possession charge that will likely send him to prison—and two weeks after he got pulled over on a completely separate incident where he "was slapped with four violations for driving 60 mph in a 45-mph zone, improper tags, improper lane change and improper window tinting." Does he just figure, "I'm going to jail anyway, I might as well earn it?"

There's no way to know for sure if these incidents had anything to do with the Giants decision to finally cut and run last week, but they certainly couldn't have helped. It seems he's hanging by a very thin thread.

PLAX LACKS TACT [New York Post]

Coach Tom Coughlin signed his name to a polite press release:

"Plaxico's contribution to our championship season in 2007 can never be underestimated or undervalue. He displayed tremendous determination throughout that season. Having said that, I have always been as concerned about Plaxico as a man as I have been about him as a player, and my hope is that everything that has happened over the past several months represents a turning point. He is a young man with a family who has a whole lifetime ahead of him, and I personally wish him and his family well."

So there's a receiver with a hole in his leg (and his heart) on the market now for those teams that need them. Perhaps there will be interest from an NFC team with a brand new quarterback who also comes with considerable baggage.

Giants Cut Plaxico Burress [The Blue Screen]

The former Giant wideout is being sued in Lebanon County, PA, over a car lease that he allegedly did not really attempt to honor. His trial—which I can't imagine he would show up for in a million years—starts tomorrow.

Court papers say Burress leased a 2004 Chevrolet Avalanche worth more than $36,000 from a Lebanon County car dealer in exchange for promises to appear at publicity events. But the civil complaint filed by car dealer Frederick Laurenzo says Burress never returned the car and did not show up to sign autographs. Laurenzo also says the car was seized by New York City police after Burress let someone else use it.

First of all, you leased a car to an NFL player in exchange for autographs? Your whole business should be towed for that one. Second of all, an Avalanche? Really, Plaxico? Even my mom would never be caught driving a Chevy Avalanche. Of course, she doesn't usually leave the house in sweatpants either, so to each his own, I guess.

Football player Burress lands in Lebanon court [Penn Live]

By "cache of weapons," of course, they mean one 9-mm handgun and a rifle that may or may not have been registered. Also found at the Totowa, N.J., home were the infamous non-bulletproof sweatpants and a suitcase full of cash. Hmm ... guns, ammo, and large supplies of portable currency? If that doesn't sound like someone preparing for the coming anarchy of the Western financial collapse, I don't know what does.

Of course, it could just mean that Burress is a lousy citizen who doesn't believe in things like "registrations" or "insurance" or "banks." This doesn't really change anything, unless one of those guns does happen to be unregistered, because that just gives prosecutors one more thing to throw at him. But what's another unlicensed gun charge among friends?

Weapons Stash Found at Plaxico Burress' Home, Sources Say [My Fox 5]
Reports: Weapons, ammo seized at Burress' NJ home [AP/Google]

Saturday, Dec. 6; Plaxico Burress and some pals aboard the Lady Pamela II out of Fort Lauderdale. Captain's log:

"Fishing started off slow, not much was around. But before we knew it, a sailfish ate the right short bait and started jumping. It put on a good fight and a great show....until he fell off. The bait went back out hoping for another bite. We didn't get a sailfish bite, but we did manage to catch a few blue runners and vermilion snappers for them to take home for dinner. We were losing daylight quickly and needed it for the type of fishing we wanted to do. They enjoyed themselves and went home with fresh fish.

Tight Lines!
Captain David Ide
Lady Pamela II Fishing Charters

The suspended Super Bowl hero refused to discuss the Nov. 29 shooting at the Latin Quarter nightclub that led to criminal possession of a weapon charges and his suspension for the rest of the regular season and the playoffs for conduct detrimental to the team.

"I'm just here to support this event, it's a great event, and I thought it'd be a great chance to get my wife out, and my son out, and support such a great event where it helps kids, homeless kids," Burress said in a transcript provided by WNBC-TV of New York City. "This is a wonderful thing for us to come out and be able to help people and we can lend a helping hand. I have a child, I have a son, I couldn't imagine him being in that situation, so that's why I brought him also."

Although there's no telling what's in Tiffany's purse. She's the one who ended up with the gun after the shooting incident.

Plaxico & Tiffany Sans Sweats, Guns [Bob's Blitz]
Plaxico Burress Appears At NYC Charity Event [Associated Press]

Even more impressive is their tendency to constantly find themselves in handcuffs. We all know about Captain Sweatpants, and you probably heard about Charles Rogers' latest misadventure. He was released from jail this week—after violating his probation for a domestic dispute—and ordered into a drug and alcohol treatment program. Well, former New York Giant Mark Ingram was not about to let those two goons steal all the Spartan alumni headlines. He was supposed to be in Kentucky last Friday to begin serving a 92-month sentence for money laundering, but I guess Ingram thought to himself, 'what if I just didn't show up?'

Hurley issued an arrest warrant for Ingram on Monday, after federal prosecutor Richard Donoghue told the judge Ingram had not appeared at the federal prison in Ashland, Ky., to begin his sentence, according to court papers.

Ingram's attorney, Raymond Colon, could not be reached for comment. Donoghue, who said in court after Ingram missed a sentencing date that the ex-football player apparently believed court dates were "optional," declined to comment yesterday.

Oh, so that's what happens. Go State! By the way, I like that the AOL slideshow on "Sports Figures in Trouble With the Law" has 96 pictures! I don't think the football team has that many scholarships to give out.

Mark Ingram, Who Used to Run Routes for the Giants, Is Now Running From the Police [Fanhouse]
CENTRAL ISLIP: Arrest warrant issued for ex-Giant Ingram [Newsday]
Ex-Lion, MSU star Rogers sentenced to treatment [Free Press]

*Okay, I'll always have a soft spot for Jim Miller.