Former Football Player Gets Speeding Ticket

Actually, Plaxico Burress got his speeding ticket back in early September, but it's easier to keep these things quiet when you're not actually an NFL player. Burress has a November court date for his ticket, which he garnered in Broward County, Fla. (He owns a home in Lighthouse Point.) According to Gossip Extra, » 10/18/12 4:00pm 10/18/12 4:00pm

Plaxico Burress Wants To Play For The Panthers. The Panthers Do Not…

Who wants a possibly washed-up wide receiver on the wrong side of 35 and still carrying plenty of baggage? Burress didn't actually have a bad season with the Jets, his first post-prison. It was just underwhelming, with major drops in catches, yards and scores—and football players are not one of those things you can… » 6/21/12 2:30pm 6/21/12 2:30pm

LeBron James Mimics Stevie Johnson Mimicking Plaxico Burress In Flag…

LeBron James and Kevin Durant played flag football at the University of Akron last night for "LeBron's Flag Football Classic." There are plenty of highlights available on the YouTubes, if you're interested, but since we no longer have to pretend to entertain the question of LeBron playing football during the NBA… » 12/01/11 10:35am 12/01/11 10:35am

Stevie Johnson Beats Revis, Makes Touchdown Catch, Mocks Plax In TD…

Stevie Johnson, who one presumes has yet to forget being forsaken by God, trolled the Jets hard after getting clearance from Darrelle Revis to catch a touchdown pass from Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick—first pantomiming a Plaxico Burress club self-shooting, then performing the airplane... that crashed. Buffalo & the Jets… » 11/27/11 2:45pm 11/27/11 2:45pm

Did This Plaxico Burress Pregame Tribute Spur The Giants To Victory?

"Police say a 50-year-old man accidentally shot himself in the leg in a parking lot at Gillette Stadium before the New England Patriots game against the Giants." He's reportedly OK, so now we can look forward to the play-by-play. [AP] » 11/07/11 1:25pm 11/07/11 1:25pm

ESPN's Ian O'Connor Confuses His Job Duties With Eli Manning's

Did you hear what Plaxico Burress did at the Meadowlands last night? He did nothing. The caption this morning was "Plaxico Burress shines in his first game back in the NFL, scoring a touchdown against the Bengals on Sunday." This is a stupid lie, born of boredom and fraud: Burress's first game back in the NFL,… » 8/22/11 12:25pm 8/22/11 12:25pm

OK, For The Last Time: Plaxico Burress Was Not Wearing Sweatpants The…

The night he busted a cap in his thigh, Plaxico Burress was wearing jeans. This is a fact confirmed both by the New York County District Attorney's Office and Burress himself. He was not wearing sweatpants. There is as much proof that he wore sweatpants that night as there is that he wore a crinoline hoopskirt. You are … » 6/07/11 2:15pm 6/07/11 2:15pm

Mavericks Fan Sitting Behind George Lopez Speaks For All America

Your morning roundup for June 6, the day we learned the value of Bernie Madoff's underwear. H/T @bubbaprog, proprietor of, for accurately predicting what might tickle us this morning (and others for sending in their own grabs). » 6/06/11 9:40am 6/06/11 9:40am