Here's What Happens When You Try and Track Down a Ted Cruz College Rumor

Is there anything people wouldn’t believe about Ted Cruz? A few months ago, someone sent Jezebel a tip about the rising Republican presidential candidate’s days as a Princeton undergraduate. It was a story that seemed both unlikely and physiologically improbable, but I figured I might as well ask around, just in case.

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Mike Huckabee's Campaign Charade Is Over, So That His Other Charades Might Continue

Driving south on Interstate 95 through Maryland, eventually you come to the I-495 interchange near College Park. If you stay on I-95, then for the next little while, you also are on I-495, the Capital Beltway; the routes are concurrent, sharing the same physical road. Farther along, in Springfield, Va., the two routes…

Martin O'Malley, A Stock Photo Of A Handsome Man, Ends His Presidential Bid

Generic man Martin O’Malley ended his campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination last night. The Iowa caucus was rough on the former Baltimore mayor and Maryland governor: Once poll-workers sorted out the caucus-goers who thought they were standing in line to get their photo taken with “that guy from, uh,…

The Real Story Of Apollo 17... And Why We Never Went Back To The Moon

On December 11, 1972, Apollo 17 touched down on the Moon. This was not only our final Moon landing, but the last time we left low Earth orbit. With the successful launch of the Orion capsule, NASA is finally poised to go further again. So it’s important to remember how we got to the Moon — and why we stopped going.

CNN Makes Charles Barkley Talk Politics To Promote Debate; Chuck Trashes "Awful" CNN

CNN is the home of next week’s Republican debate, and tonight’s ever-encroaching instance of corporate synergy found Turner’s Charles Barkley being forced, hostage-proof-of-life style, to talk politics. And talk he did, slamming Donald Trump and trashing CNN—saying the network has “done an awful job this election.”

We Will Pay The Reporter Who Asks Tom Brady About His Friend Donald Trump’s Plan To Ban Muslims

Yesterday, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump called on the United States to ban all Muslims, including American citizens, from entering the country. Deadspin will pay $100 to the first reporter who asks Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, who said three months ago that “it would be great” if Trump were…

Bobby Jindal, Obsequious Twerp, Simpers The Fuck Out

Bobby Jindal will no longer pursue the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He also will not pursue Alpha Centauri, or growing a second head out of his left shoulder, or the Elder Wand. Dogs will not shoot lasers from their eyes. The sun will not be a showerhead that sprays grapefruit juice. Many things will not…

The Only Rule Is Refusal: A Song For Rand Paul

By the end of last night’s debate, Rand Paul had been reduced to smirking and reciting the Real Fiscal Conservatism rulebook—You can’t spend trillions on the military and be a real conservative, so are you a real conservative?—like a five-year-old who’d caught a playmate in the irreconcilable thoughtcrime of claiming…

Big Fat Fabulist Ben Carson's West Point Story Is Bogus

Republican presidential candidate and hip-hop impresario Ben Carson is full of beans. Possibly he is as much as 82-percent beans! His tales of youthful violence keep changing, his Mannatech disavowal was bogus on its face, and now his story of receiving a full scholarship to the U.S. Military Academy at West Point has…

Jeb Can't Fake A Spleen; The GOP Can't Fake A Candidate

You ask a five-year-old to pretend she is a grownup doing a grown-up job, and she will furrow her brow into a stern expression, scrunch up her little mouth into a tight frown, and speak in a deepened, scolding tone of voice. It does a pretty good—and cute!—job of illustrating how a five-year-old perceives the…