Eventually, as the days become months and months become years after yesterday’s Euro 2016 final, where Portugal bested France in extra time, no one will remember that it was the poorly played—though passionate—conclusion to a tournament that itself was stuffed with teams that played like our endearing though unlovable…
It’s going to be so sad when these two grow up and are beating the shit out of each other in Euro 2024.
A Cristiano Ronaldo-less Portugal took an extra time lead against France as Éder blasted a strike past Hugo Lloris, who had been a brick wall throughout the match.
Cristiano Ronaldo was injured early in today’s Euro 2016 final against France, and after two trips to the sidelines the Portugal star has finally been removed from the match in the 24th minute.
Where Portugal and Wales failed to actualize their best selves during yesterday’s bland Euro semifinal, this enterprising teen ball boy put together a performance for the ages, one every subsequent ball boy will aspire to replicate.
Euro 2016 has kind of sucked. There haven’t been more than about four honest-to-goodness entertaining games, the over-expanded field and the resulting imbalanced matchups have given us too many teams too content to play—“play”—for 0-0 draws, and only a couple of the best teams and players have put on shows worthy of…
We’re used to seeing Cristiano Ronaldo as the picture of confidence, swaggering around the pitch with his chest all puffed and his chin to the sky. But Ronaldo is indeed human (or at least has recently underwent a software upgrade which included a new and incredibly realistic human behavior-miming module), proof of…
Yesterday’s Portugal-Poland match started in surprisingly auspicious fashion, considering it was a match between two teams with only a passing interest in doing anything fun or exciting in an effort to go out and win. Poland’s Robert Lewandowski scored the game’s first goal less than two minutes after the opening…
Today’s miserable extra time of the Poland-Portugal Euro 2016 quarterfinal became a little more spicy when an idiot on the field invaded the pitch right in the middle of a Portuguese offensive run. Tough luck, Ronaldo.
This. Goal. Is. Disgusting. Microphone-chucker Cristiano Ronaldo, desperate to deliver Portugal from the group stage of the Euros, kicked in this stupid-good one-time backheel to bring his team back level against Hungary.
So ... does this mean Cristiano Ronaldo is in fact ready for today’s big game?
Portugal only managed a draw against Austria today in Paris after Cristiano Ronaldo missed a late penalty kick; the Real Madrid superstar then was confronted after the game by an Idiot On The Field who demanded—and apparently got—a selfie with the three-time world player of the year:
Underwear mogul/ab demon Cristiano Ronaldo and his Portuguese teammates opened their Euro 2016 campaign against Iceland today. It was the tiny island’s first European Championship game ever, and they managed to come from behind and tie Portugal, 1-1. Portugal had 27 shots, 10 on goal, and 66 percent of the possession,…
Ricardinho is a Portuguese futsal player and also apparently a real actual wizard. He scored this wondergoal on Serbia at the European Championships yesterday, and oh man is it pretty.
Armenia opened the scoring of their Euro 2016 qualifier against Portugal with an early golazo from Marcos Pizzelli, who landed a 35-yard free kick that left Rui Patricio helpless. It would have made Ronaldo smile, had it not been against his own squad.
This weekend, Benfica fan José Magalhães attended an away match against Vitória Guimarães with his son and father. Outside of the stadium, he was thrown to the ground and repeatedly hit by a nightstick before being arrested by police. While the police allege he behaved in an unruly fashion, Magalhães denies any…
Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection.
Of course he did.
The Belgians had faith in their boys coming into today's Round of 16 match against the USMNT. Following the tradition of every other team we've played in this World Cup, one paper thought it would be funny to turn the famous Obama campaign slogan "Yes we can!" against us. They were right. They could. We couldn't.