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Portuguese Soccer Fan Beaten By Police In Front Of His Son And Father

This weekend, Benfica fan José Magalhães attended an away match against Vitória Guimarães with his son and father. Outside of the stadium, he was thrown to the ground and repeatedly hit by a nightstick before being arrested by police. While the police allege he behaved in an unruly fashion, Magalhães denies any… »5/19/15 7:17pm5/19/15 7:17pm

Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Features A Big Ol' Bulging Dick

Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection. »12/22/14 11:46am12/22/14 11:46am

Every Country We Played Trolled Us With "Yes We Can!"

The Belgians had faith in their boys coming into today's Round of 16 match against the USMNT. Following the tradition of every other team we've played in this World Cup, one paper thought it would be funny to turn the famous Obama campaign slogan "Yes we can!" against us. They were right. They could. We couldn't. »7/01/14 7:37pm7/01/14 7:37pm

Portugal-Ghana: The Black Stars Are Imploding, But Can Still Go Through

I'm going out on a limb here and guessing the vast majority of you won't be watching Portugal-Ghana particularly closely. Oh, sure, you'll know if one of the teams scores—you'll review the replays of each goal with joy or dread depending on the time and circumstance. You'll have an eye on this game—whether it be on… »6/26/14 11:13am6/26/14 11:13am

Did Cristiano Ronaldo Really Cut His Hair For A Kid With A Brain Tumor?

There's a very good chance that when Cristiano Ronaldo turned up to yesterday's showdown with the USMNT with the mark of Zorro shaved into the side of his head, you laughed your ass off and wondered what the hell what he was thinking. There's a pretty good chance that later, you felt like a jackass when you learned… »6/23/14 9:07am6/23/14 9:07am

Portugal Rips Out American Hearts With A Last-Minute Equalizer

The USMNT thought they could close out a win over Portugal, get a surprising three points, and rest easy against Germany. But in the final minute of stoppage time, Cristiano Ronaldo set up a perfect ball for Varela to finish, subsequently tearing out the hearts of drunk Americans everywhere. Rough. Four points are… »6/22/14 8:26pm6/22/14 8:26pm