Frank Lampard Scored A Fittingly Huge Goal Against Old Team Chelsea

The pillars of the old crew were all there. John Terry still in the captain's armband. A ponytailed Didier Drogba in his famous number 11. The boss José Mourinho, looking upon his charges sternly from the sideline, no doubt fighting back an inner smile. And Frank Lampard, a goal down, hungry to do what he did for so… » 9/21/14 2:05pm Sunday 2:05pm

Manchester United Dominate Leicester, End Up Getting Blown Out

You see that little guy up there? That's Filbert the Fox, Leicester City's mascot. Don't worry, he's feeling great. Though his club hosted the rich and famous Manchester United today, his boys managed to take down the giants. Those aren't tears of sadness, they're tears of mockery, directed at the section of United… » 9/21/14 12:09pm Sunday 12:09pm

Manchester United's Luke Shaw Is The Next Gareth Bale, Even If He's Not

This summer, Manchester United bought left back Luke Shaw from Southampton for £30 million. Luke Shaw is 19 years old. If you're not familiar with soccer's transfer fees, that is a staggering amount of money for a teenager. It's more than the fee paid for Wayne Rooney, another English talent of great ability and the… » 9/19/14 4:38pm Friday 4:38pm

Soccer's Faulty New Money Rule Hurts The Clubs It Was Meant To Protect

Queens Park Rangers are the latest victim of Financial Fair Play, the laudably-aimed yet poorly calibrated rules which are in theory meant to keep teams solvent but in practice keep them from sensibly spending to improve their position, or even from spending money they actually have. Yesterday, English Football League… » 9/10/14 2:56pm 9/10/14 2:56pm

Mario Balotelli's Supposed New House Is Cool And Good

This may not be news to you, but Italian soccer star Mario Balotelli, who is the funnest, is back in England after being bought by Premier League side Liverpool from AC Milan. Since he'll ostensibly be sticking around for a little while, at least, he needs somewhere to live. This is the house he's rumored to have… » 9/04/14 11:16am 9/04/14 11:16am

Did Mesut Özil Actually Suck Last Year? Whose Fault Was That?

It was easy to blame Mesut Özil, because it's easy to blame any athlete for anything. But last year, it was particularly easy to blame Mesut Özil. He arrived under the halo of his record £42.5 million fee at Arsenal, implicitly anointing him Savior, a title that almost always preempts failure. » 8/23/14 11:13am 8/23/14 11:13am

British Skip Bayless Has A Strong Take On Mario Balotelli

We'll have more on this as an actual soccer move when (if?) it becomes official, but it's looking pretty near certain that AC Milan striker/international style icon Mario Balotelli will be returning to the Premier League, slotting in at Liverpool to replace Luis Suárez. Chris Bascombe over at the Telegraph has fucking » 8/21/14 11:46am 8/21/14 11:46am

The Premier League Is Banning Goals Being Posted to Vine and Twitter

If there's one thing better than a wonderful goal in soccer, it's reliving it over, and over, and over, and over. Preferably in slow-mo. Ideally as a looped GIF. And almost certainly sourced from social media. But sadly, the UK's Premier League is stamping out all such behavior. » 8/15/14 10:26am 8/15/14 10:26am

Which Leagues Are Having The Most Success At The World Cup?

For people who really know their shit about soccer, one of the fun bits of the World Cup is recognizing which club-level teammates and rivals are facing off for their various national squads. Which of these club leagues are best represented at this year's Cup? The New York Times built an elaborate web of club-level… » 6/24/14 2:03pm 6/24/14 2:03pm

Man United Hire New Manager, Already Expect To Win Premier League

It's not even next season yet and we've already got the first lolunited post of the '14-'15 campaign. New Manchester United ship captain Louis van Gaal has officially been christened, and in lieu of smacking him across the head with a champagne bottle, they've promised him £150M, with an expectation that he win the… » 5/20/14 10:54am 5/20/14 10:54am