<

José Mourinho Is Shitting On Managers Again, Which Means Soccer's Back!

We’ve seen preseason play and preseason brawls, and now that José Mourinho has broken out the ol’ charcoal grill and laid on a couple thick slabs of Arsène Wenger and Manuel Pellegrini tenderloin, the aroma of preseason beef means the Premier League season is just around the corner. » 7/28/15 6:39pm Tuesday 6:39pm

Raheem Sterling Is Making Bank Because England Sucks

Raheem Sterling is already, at just 20 years of age, a damn good player, with every chance to become great. This obviously and understandably makes him a very valuable asset, as his now official English-record transfer and new salary attest. What he isn’t is £180,000 a week good. His mix of current ability and… » 7/14/15 5:34pm 7/14/15 5:34pm

Liverpool Don't Deserve Raheem Sterling

Here’s our daily exercise in keeping competing thoughts in our heads at the same time. European soccer has become player ruled. Particularly in the post-Chelsea, post-Manchester City era, there’s more money sloshing around in the top league than many entire nations. There’s no loyalty to club and not much more to… » 6/24/15 6:29pm 6/24/15 6:29pm

Premier League Starlet Pictured Passed Out In Middle Of The Road

Jack Grealish, the 19-year-old future-stud winger for Aston Villa, had a season to be proud of. He broke into the first team, becoming a regular starter by the end of the season, and impressed enough to be linked with bigger teams. To celebrate, it appears he got lit up in Spain, concluding at least one night assed… » 6/16/15 10:30am 6/16/15 10:30am

Jürgen Klopp To Step Down As Borussia Dortmund Manager At End Of Season

After seven seasons, including two Bundesliga titles, one DFB-Pokal trophy, a Champions League final run, and winning the admiration of everyone in the sport, Jürgen Klopp has announced in a press conference today that he will no longer be the manager of Borussia Dortmund on July 1st. » 4/15/15 9:26am 4/15/15 9:26am

God Save Queens Park Rangers, The Most Fun Bad Team In The EPL

QPR aren't very good. In fact, they're quite terrible. They have the Premier League's second-worst points-per-game rate, have given up by far the most goals, and look generally incompetent performing many of the duties usually required of an EPL-quality club. But goddammit if they aren't the most entertaining side… » 4/08/15 2:33pm 4/08/15 2:33pm

Eden Hazard Is Showing England What A Great Player Can Look Like

Much of what fuels England’s rabid, explosively celebratory, often masochistic, sometimes even violent devotion to soccer is the country’s unique interpretation of the game. Their love of direct attacks, sliding-karate-kick tackles, and ceaseless running almost compels teams into wide-open matches with acres of space… » 4/07/15 10:20am 4/07/15 10:20am

Here Are Some EPL Hooligans Brawling, Because That's What They Do Best

"OY, AN' WOT 'ID I 'EAR YOU SAY ABOUT ME MUM?!" one West Ham fan presumably asked the Sunderland fan across from him. Squaring up, the Sunderland hooligan probably said, "YOU 'EARD ME, MATE. ME AN' ME LADS GAVE OL' MUMSIE A GOOD BOFFIN', BUT YOU'RE GONNA LOOK EVEN WORSE THAN THAT OL' HAG WHEN WE'AH DONE WIF YOU!" » 3/23/15 2:06pm 3/23/15 2:06pm

Here's Steven Gerrard's Final Liverpool-Man United Match In Its Entirety

Steven Gerrard made sure his final match in the Liverpool-Manchester United rivalry was a memorable one, but not in the way he'd have hoped. After coming on as a sub at halftime, he received the ball six times, played five passes, made one crunching tackle that could've gotten him a yellow, and ultimately was justly… » 3/22/15 12:12pm 3/22/15 12:12pm

Exquisite Juan Mata Scissor Kick Put Man United 2-0 Up On Liverpool

In what was a fairly insane second half of today's huge Liverpool-Manchester United match, there was at least one moment of brilliance to break up the surrounding nuttiness. That was the criminally underused Juan Mata scoring his second goal of the game in acrobatic fashion. » 3/22/15 11:25am 3/22/15 11:25am

Why Would Gareth Bale Want To Go Back To England?

There's a battle for Gareth Bale's soul being waged in the media of two different countries. On one side, you have the Spanish press expressing the frustrations of their readers by bashing the player's lazy, timid displays on the pitch. On the other, the press in Bale's native Britain is using its pages to decry his… » 3/17/15 4:18pm 3/17/15 4:18pm

José Mourinho Gets Philosophical In Rant Directed At Haters In The Media

“The world is a bit strange. Maybe because of diets, and maybe because of the quality of produce we are eating, I think memories are getting shorter,” José Mourinho begins his wild, metaphysical ride that somehow ends with him basically calling certain members of the media jealous cowards.
» 3/13/15 11:04am 3/13/15 11:04am