After time expired, but before the shootout began, Foster turned on his coach's iPod—but not for crazy psych up music to prepare him for the big moment. He was watching old video of his opponents taking penalty kicks. Foster even says he noticed that in one of the clips, Tottenham Hotspur's Jaime O'Hara showed a tendency go to his left. Sure enough, when O'Hara took his turn, he went to the left, Foster was ready and he made the save. Man U won the Cup and Foster was named man of the match.

All the hubbub about it seems to imply that video assist is a bit shady, but when you think about it ... why would it be? Other sports let players consult charts and photos and even video from the bench. German goalkeeper Jens Lehmann famously stuffed a cheat sheet into his sock before a World Cup match against Argentina in 2006. Tottenham even boasts that their techie kung fu is way better than United's. On the other hand, all the "these crazy kids and their computers have changed the world" stuff is just as overblown.

Plus, O'Hara could have just as easily gone right and then Foster would have looked like a dope. The end.

Ben Foster's iPod-watching raises the bar for Manchester United [Times Online]
Gary Megson isn't impressed by Ben Foster's iPod [The Spoiler]
Why Aren't More Premier League Clubs Using the iPod? [EPL Talk]
Manchester United penalty win a triumph for iPod generation [Telegraph]

It seems that other fans at the stadium have been complaining about the noise and the constant standing (it's a fire hazard!) that make it very difficult to watch this solemn and dignified sport in peace. Now, I've never been to a Premiere League match, but I was under the impression that anytime you made it home without being tear-gassed would be considered a successful night at the stadium. But this letter is seriously asking that fans only stand and cheer after a successful goal, and then quickly return to a respectful seated silence. What do you say, chaps?

"this constant noise is driving some fans mad"

By the way, Middlesbrough is one point out of last place and in danger of being relegated to the lower division, but I'm sure the two matters are not related.

Boro fans ordered to sit down and be quiet [The Spoiler]

It began thusly:

Joe Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?
Simon Bird: Me.
JK: You're a cunt.
SB: Thank you.

And we're off! More excerpts from the nearly-15 minute exchange:

JK: You are trying to fucking undermine my position already.
SB: Have you read it, it doesn't say that. I knew you knew they were having a day off.
JK: Fuck off. Fuck off. It's your last fucking chance.
SB: You read the copy? It doesn't say that you didn't know.
JK: What about the headline, you think that's a good headline?
SB: I didn't write the headline, you read the copy.
JK: You are negative bastards, the pair of you.

JK: I have done it before. It is going to my fucking lawyers. So are about three others. If they can find something in it that is a court case it is going to court. I am not fucking about. I don't talk to fucking anybody. It is raking up stories. You are fucking so fucking slimy you are raking up players that I got rid of. Players that I had fallen out with. You are not asking Robbie Earle, because he is sensible. You are not asking Warren Barton? No. Because he is fucking sensible. Anyone who had played for me for 10 years at any level ... [but] you will find some cunt that ...
Other journalist: How long is your contract for Joe?
JK: None of your business.

Steve Brenner (football writer for the Sun): We are all grown men and can come in here and sit around and talk about football, but coming in here and calling people cunts?
JK: Why? Because I am annoyed. I am not accepting that. If it is libellous, it is going to where I want it to go.
Newcastle press officer: What has been said in here is off the record and doesn't go outside.

Oops. Yeah, about that ...

Here's video of the exchange, which has been censored, sadly. And here's some background on Kinnear and Newcastle. My question: Why couldn't the Vice Presidential debate have been more like this?

Audio: Joe Kinnear Swears An Amazing 52 Times In A Five-Minute Rant At The Daily Mirror [The Daily Mirror]
'I Have Had A Million Pages Of Crap Written About Me. I'm Ridiculed For No Reason. I'm Defenceless' [The Guardian]
Joe Kinnear Confronts His Newcastle Critics Head On [The Times]

• Fulham continues to fight. The Cottagers got a goal apiece from Nevland and McBride to win for the second consecutive week, this time over a relegation rival in Birmingham. The two squads are joined by Bolton and Reading in a group of four teams in danger of joining Derby on their trip back down.

• Not everyone helped themselves. Reading needed a valiant effort against Tottenham Hotspur to stay out of the relegation zone, and it didn't go so well. Robbie Keane scored the contest's only goal, and Reading will sweat it out.

Cristiano Ronaldo had an impressive back-heel goal in Man U's 4-0 rout of Aston Villa yesterday. In other news, I just tripped over my mouse.

In even further developments, I don't speak Portuguese Arabic. You're on your own for the commentary.

The Stockpile Of Weapons 'n Ammo's most recent match was their first loss of the season, albeit in the Champions League and not the Premiership, at the hands of Sevilla. So you know Arsenal's gonna play all determined and pissed off today against Aston Villa, who will play determined and will likely piss before the game, so they don't have to pull a Bill Walker during a corner kick.

Kickoff for this game isn't until 12:15 EST, I believe (there are about three different times published out there, not including Wikipedia, who reports the start time is your mom), but I'm still tucking the soccer post all the way at the bottom because some of you scalawags just relish waking up on Saturdays and talking up a storm about that footie.

Aston Villa - Arsenal [Goal.com]

• Tottenham 2 - 1 Manchester City. City continues their downward spiral, losing their 5th straight, this one coming after their manager called them "spineless" after losing to Middlesbourgh. They did manage to find a little more spine this time out, despite the loss. Tottenham remains in 4th place in the league.

• Portsmouth 2-2 Blackburn. Portsmouth battles back from a goal down on two seperate occasions to get a much-needed point. They do remain a point behind Birmingham, though, and on-track for relegation.

• Sunderland vs. Fulham: Cancelled because of snow. I know what you're thinking... "Cancelled because of snow? Bunch of pussies." But really, it was a hell of a storm, the pitch was a mess, injuries were a major concern, the play was ugly (it is, after all, Sunderland), and you can't tell me that you haven't wished the NFL would've cancelled some late-season, ugly-weather games between the Browns and Ravens. But you still think they're pussies, don't you?

West Brom 1-2 Chelsea. Chelsea was lifeless in the first half, played most of the second half with ten men, and still beat West Brom. It was manager Jose Mourinho's 100th match as Chelsea's manager. Hooray for him.

Liverpool 0-0 Charlton. Charlton manages a tie against Liverpool because the Reds couldn't score with a homeless hooker if they had a pocketful of cash. Charlton goalie Thomas Myhre was outstanding, and Liverpool squandered a lot of opportunities.

West Ham 2-2 Everton. The Hammers (I love that nickname) were looking for their sixth straight Premiership win, but were denied by a late James Beattie goal for Everton. Dean Ashton scored for West Ham, and then, as pictured, was required to give two people a piggyback ride.

Chelsea 2-0 Portsmouth. Chelsea pushes their league lead to 15 points better than their closest competitor by whomping lowly Portsmouth. The race for the league title here is about as suspenseful as the race in the ACC.

Newcastle 2-0 Everton. Everton hadn't lost since December 28th, but Newcastle took it to them today without two of their studs, Alan Shearer and Michael Owen. Also, I'm told that Solano's 2nd goal for Newcastle was spectacular. I'm guessing you won't see it on SportsCenter.

Also, because there was a light Premiership schedule today... bonus Rugby coverage!

Scotland 18-12 England. Scotland hadn't beaten England since 2000, and as a tipster tells us, there may be a little bit of drinking in Scotland this evening.

France 37-12 Italy. Is anyone else shocked that the French can win at a sport as violent and physical as Rugby?

• Middlesbrough 0-4 Aston Villa. 19-year-old Luke Moore records a hat trick for Villa. No one records anything for Middlesbrough, as they really kinda suck. They've given up more goals than anyone else in the league. The Aston Villa coach had this to say after the game: "We were superior from the kick-off and in every department we were superior."

• West Brom 2-0 Blackburn. A bit of an upset for West Brom, who pulls themselves a little bit further away from the bottom of the standings. West Brom, incidentally, is nicknamed the "Baggies," and I think you can chalk this victory up to the intimidation created by that monicker.

• Birmingham 0-2 Arsenal. Theirry Henry gets his 200th goal for Arsenal. Weird things are happening with Arsenal defenseman Sol Campbell. He had a terrible game Wednesday, he's away from the team now for personal reasons, and there are rumors going around about him dealing with some brokeback issues.

(By the way, that's not the guy in the picture. Would be cool if it were, though.)

Jailed Hooligan Signs Up For Club [BBC News] (via SportsHooligan)

The club is also endorsing an urn adorned with the team colors. We had a relative once who was buried with a St. Louis Cardinals pennant, and we ourselves have greatly considered wearing an Arizona Cardinals helmet through the afterlife. But this is the first time a franchise has actually officially licensed the merchandise.

"People like to liven up their funerals these days," a team spokesperson said.

Reading Fans Can Take Allegiance To Grave [Reuters]

a: He's a millionaire.
b: Poor people are often denied public defenders in England.
c: He's on trial for spitting.

Heck, we almost admire his guts on this one. That's a lot of trouble to go through for avoiding a legal bill.

Player Won't Pay For Defense [Soccernet]