Notice I said "trafficking" not "dealing." Mark Tynes is currently in federal prison serving a 27-year sentence for being the "kingpin of a syndicate that transported 3,600 pounds of marijuana between Texas and Florida." The brothers fully admit that he was guilty, but think the sentence was a little harsh. But President Bush loves sports and if David Tyree can hold on to that football, anything is possible right?

"This President has virtually ignored this power," said Prof. Dan Kobil, a pardon process expert at Capital University Law School in Columbus. "He's by far the stingiest pardoner."

Second - and more problematic - is Mark Tynes' criminal history.

He was saddled with a prior felony drug charge before his 2004 conviction ... [He] refused to cooperate with prosecutors - and his sentence was extended from 151 months to 324 months over allegations of witness intimidation.

Oh, yeah ... that is bad. If Tynes had played for the Rangers maybe it'd be a different story, but nobody hates the Patriots that much.

Giants kicker hopes to use fame to shorten drug-dealing sibling's jail term [NY Daily News]

We're not going to get too much into politics here, swear, but honestly, has a guy ever looked more sick of being President than Bush does? Ordinarily, when the President throws out the first pitch on Opening Day, he'll pop by the booth to chat with the broadcasters for half an inning before being shuffled off to handle, you know, matters of the national interest. Bush talked to Jon Miller and Joe Morgan for an inning-and-a-half last night. And he didn't look like he was in any particular hurry to leave after that either.

It kind of creeped us out, actually, that Dubya was so well-versed in the world of baseball; he even knew that Jeff Francoeur had been hit in the face with a pitch in spring training. As cool as we might think it is for our President to love the great game so much, we're still not sure we feel comfortable with the commander-in-chief having that much free time.

The saddest part, really, was when Miller asked President Bush about steroids. The Prez sighed deeply. He knew this question was coming, but dammit, why does everyone have to be so negative all the time? I'm at the ballgame, people. Leave me be. President Bush didn't want to talk about policy, or being President; he wanted to talk about baseball. This makes him a pretty cool guy ... and it makes us extremely happy we only have 10 months until he's no longer President.

So, as it turns out, the Nationals have removed Paul LoDuca from his duties, which was a surprise to him, and MLB.com. Poor guy, sure.

The White House said it played no role in determining who would catch the pitch. "Whatever the decision the Nationals make is up to them," White House spokesman Tony Fratto said by telephone Thursday. "In no way did we, or would we, raise any issues."

Lo Duca said after Thursday's final Grapefruit League game that he had no animosity about the situation. Lo Duca declined to speculate as to whether his role in the Mitchell report had anything to do with the decision.

By the way, boy, do we ever love that picture.

Nationals Replace LoDuca To Catch Bush's First Pitch [Think Progress]

Today, however ... today just can't be a day President Bush looks forward too on his schedule. It's NCAA Division I Champions Day, in which the title winners of 20 different NCAA sports visit the White House and hopefully see the President over the tall women from Tennessee. Featured will be the Wisconsin women's hockey team, the Pepperdine tennis team, the Nebraska volleyball team and, most memorably, the Vanderbilt bowlers, who will be delivering a red, white and blue bowling ball to the president. Because he surely never received one of those before.

Vanderbilt Bowlers Have White House Visit [The Tennessean] (via The Wizard Of Odds)

But whatever your thoughts on Thomas' politics, one has to admire not only his outspokenness, but also ... his poetry. Yep, Thomas has published a book of poetry, and it's full of all kinds of great stuff. Our favorite:

Now I look upon my culture,
I see ballers, sure I do
Hard corers in Haute Couture, in furs
Enough to make my ancestry - stir

My brothers among me,
Kwame a black walnut tree,
Lorenzo in his Benzo, give Stevie Blake his Vitamin D
Gheorghe, the Great White Way,
My endocrine Giant is dying on the parquet

My soldier in hardwood war, Haywood
I ask: What sound is made from the clapping of one small hand?
A heart bigger that the prostate gland
of Abe
Honest, Master Pollin, an ego so kingly swollen, let me go,
Because the Foggy Bottom Metro is still an underground railroad

Honestly? That s the best poem about Abe Pollin s prostate we ve ever read.

Etan Thomas Rises To The Occasion [Edge Of Sports]
More Than An Athlete: Poems By Etan Thomas [Amazon]

Now, far be it from us to tell Lynn Swann how to run his political business, and we're certainly not experts, but of all the times to be photographed with a smiling President Bush, we dunno ... this just seems like a bad one. We'll just say this: Just to the right of that photo on ESPN's page is this ABC News headline: "Bush Takes Blame For Blunders." Sometimes corporate synergy can get ugly.

At the very least, though, we now have definitive proof that President Bush cares about black people.

Inexperienced Swann Has Celebrity On His Side [ESPN]