Deadspin: Press Box

Yard Work Upgrades, Eviscerates Peter King

Leitch — Thu, 28 Jul 2005 16:28:36 EDT

Congrats to the wacky folks at Yard Work, who have revamped their site with a shiny new URL and an archive that could judiciously be called "improved." They blast off the new site with a pretty biting satire of Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback column, which begins with a pretty fantastic imaginary conversation with Bruce Springsteen.

Just after Bruce Springsteen released Devils & Dust, his best album since The Rising and best of the year so far, in April, he and I happened to be at a charity event together in New Jersey.
"How do you think Eli Manning will do next year?" I asked him, trying to spark a conversation.

"He ll be fine," Springsteen replied. "But what I really want to know is, what s wrong with the A s?"

MMQB: Believe In The A's [Yard Work]

Bob Costas: Hysterical In His Own Mind

Leitch — Thu, 28 Jul 2005 13:25:28 EDT

Don't know if any of you saw this or not, but everybody's favorite Sports Dwarf In A Suit Bob Costas was a guest on "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" last evening. It was a bizarre appearance. Our problem with Costas has never been that he isn't smart (because he constantly reminds us that, yes, he is), or that he's smug (though he is, of course) or that he's too smooth (we like our TV sportscasters like we like our men: Smooth). It's that Costas has somehow convinced himself that he is funny. We're not sure who told him this, though we're sure they were taller.

An appearance on "The Daily Show" is the worst venue for this, of course, because Costas thinks he has license to yak it up. We had an Ichiro Suzuki story that seemingly goes on forever, to no good conclusion. A Viagra joke about Rafael Palmeiro ("He gets good wood on the ball," making Stewart wince). After calling Barry Bonds "very odd" and saying in so many words that he took steroids, adding creepily "He has a beautiful smile." It should be on reruns today. Check it out. If you dare.

"The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" [Official Site]

Mistakes At Si.com

Leitch — Tue, 26 Jul 2005 18:16:26 EDT

Interesting note on SI.com right now. On Michael Silver's column is the following rejoiner:

Last week's Open Mike by Michael Silver incorrectly stated that the Philadelphia Eagles asked Terrell Owens to sign an injury waiver before Super Bowl XXXIX. The column, which went on to say that the Eagles should be obligated to renegotiate Owens's contract, was flawed because it was based on that misinformation. We regret the error.

Oops. Silver's replacement column is an innocous one about Edgerrin James. We're missing the "Setting The Record Straight" addendum with Jay Mohr's column that reads, "This column will make no sense and, strangely, not contain any jokes either."

Michael Silver [SI.com]

NBA Draft Predictions: Trying To Piss In The Dark While Handcuffed

Leitch — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 13:25:38 EDT

As previously mentioned, the NBA Draft is tonight. This, of course, is a completely random exercise with 30 different variables liable to change their minds for no particular reason at any given moment. But sportswriters get bored, so we present the Deadspin guide to mock drafts by people who don't have any better idea of what's going on than you do.

· Sean Deveney, The Sporting News
· Chad Ford, ESPN.com (subscription required, of course)
· Ray Glier, MSNBC
· Janny Hu, San Francisco Chronicle
· Mitch Lawrence, New York Daily News
· Tony Mejia, CBS Sportsline
· Sam Smith, Chicago Tribune
· Ian Thomsen, Sports Illustrated
· Dan Wetzel, Yahoo Sports

Tracking The Sportswriter Hacks

Leitch — Fri, 24 Jun 2005 16:50:55 EDT

Yesterday, we speculated how much backtracking each of the major sports pundits would do if they were wrong about last night's Game 7 of the NBA Finals. Here's a look:

Mitch Lawrence, New York Daily News. After declaring "Tim, Spurs are done" yesterday, Mitch Lawrence checks in today and pretends it never happened. His column criticizes Duncan for playing lousy and managing to win anyway. Sample: "More than anything else, Tim Duncan and the Spurs managed to survive."

Michael Wilbon, The Washington Post. Wilbon on Thursday: "Yes, the Pistons are the better team. Tougher, and more resolute." Wilbon today: "Everything about sports is today. Yesterday's greatness becomes irrelevant quick and in a hurry if you don't repeat it today."

Bill Simmons, ESPN. Bill's predictions are quite valuable, if you always believe the opposite. After Bill boldly stated on Thursday that Chauncey Billups would steal the show and win another MVP award, Billups of course responded by hitting just three shots in Game 7 and finished with 13 points. Today in his long-winded column — as you've seen — Simmons avoids mentioning his prediction. There is a reference to middleweight boxer Winky Wright, however. Because Bill's really into boxing. Because he's a real man, you see.

If There Were Anyone To Fire, Someone Would Totally Be Fired

Leitch — Wed, 01 Jun 2005 14:15:25 EDT

In this week's Sports Illustrated, Michael Silver writes a long-winded piece about the resurgence of women's softball, not just on a collegiate level, but also in the pro realm. He warbles extensively about Jennie Finch's role on the Chicago Bandits, a professional team that played its first game yesterday.

How'd Finch and the Bandits do? Who knows; the Bandits' official Web site is down down down.

Chicago Bandits [Theoretically, The Official Site]

Sports Illustrated Keeps Finger On The Web Pulse

Leitch — Wed, 25 May 2005 14:25:49 EDT

Featured Web site in Sports Illustrated's "SI Players" section this week: ManuGinobili.com.

Published Weekly Hit Total For Site: 4,000 a week.

Last Day Site Was Updated: March 5, 2005.

ManuGinobili.com [Official Site]
Great Websites [SI.com]

Just Thinking Out Loud Here ...

Leitch — Mon, 23 May 2005 15:43:23 EDT

Major congrats to the Montclair (N.J.) High School softball team, which scored two major upsets to advance to the Essex County finals Saturday night before falling to Caldwell High 1-0 in eight innings. Caitlyn Bishop, you're doing one incredible job as Mary Beth King's heir in the circle. This team has accomplished so much more than was expected. Great job this year, girls.

If Caitlyn Bishop — a high school girl, after all — got nailed for underage drinking, think Mr. King would write about it? (Probably not. Only if she got nailed for drinking bad coffee.)

Monday Morning Quarterback [SI.com]

SI.com: The Web's Pauly Shore

Leitch — Mon, 23 May 2005 12:23:11 EDT

From the things that were a bad idea from the start department: Some poor sucker at SI.com tries an imaginary conversation between Larry David and Nate Newton. Highlight: So? It bothers me. Sitting within a 10-foot radius of this kind of gluttony bothers me. And what I am supposed to do when I'm finished. I'm just eating one burger like a normal person. I'll be done with mine, you'll have 10 to go. You're not supposed to make someone watch you eat. Didn't your mother ever teach you that?

Oof.

An Imaginary Conversation Between Larry David and Nate Newton [SI.com]

SI.com's Fun Advertorials

Leitch — Mon, 23 May 2005 11:42:33 EDT

We'll be honest: We don't know who Rob Stanger is. According to the bio that runs with his new column on SI.com, he is the head teaching pro at the Golf Academy at Mission Hills in Rancho Mirage, Calif., is recognized as a Golf magazine Top Teacher in America in the West Region. How this qualifies him as a columnist is beyond us, particularly when his column starts of with the boast that he is "friends" with 18-year-old Paula Creamer (who won an LPGA event this weekend), delves into yet another dull golf lesson in the middle and ends with the classic line, "Congrats Paula on your victory!" Red Smith couldn't have put it better.

Creamer Rises To The Top [SI.com]

SI.com's Tortured Crawl Toward Relevance

Leitch — Wed, 18 May 2005 14:26:36 EDT

Poor SI.com. Two years ago, ESPN.com's Page 2 took them so far by surprise that by the time they realized what had happened, Page 2 had already become stale and boring. (Except for you, Bill! We love you, Bill!) The undignified pant continues with a Sports and Star Wars: The Connection, a sad, tired attempt to fill space. (We know the feeling.) Among the discoveries SI.com makes:

—-Tom Brady is like Luke Skywalker.
—-Phil Jackson is like Obi-Wan Kenobi.
—-Johnny Damon is like Chewbacca. (The hair, you see.)
—-Earl Boykins is like R2-D2.
—-Barry Bonds is like Darth Vader.

Honestly, we don't have the heart to go on.

Sports and Star Wars: The Connection [SI.com]

Update: The death crawl is official: Nick Bakay had the same idea.

USA Today Keeps Its Finger On The Pulse

Leitch — Mon, 16 May 2005 16:25:02 EDT

Lots of hot topics in sports news these days: Steroids. Amphetamines. Racism in the NBA. That thing on Scoop Jackson's lip. But USA Today is keeping us abreast of the hot issues: Native American mascots! The nation's best-selling hotel doormat rips the lid off the Massive, Late-Breaking Controversy. Apparently — get this — there's some debate on college campuses like Illinois, Bradley and Central Michigan as to whether or not it's right to have Aryan frat guys slap some red shoe polish under their eyes and go woo-wooing at center court. This, of course, was a big breaking news story two years ago when The New York Times wrote the story, or five years ago when The Atlantic Monthly wrote the story, or 30 years ago, when Daily Illini staffers resisted the temptation to hang themselves, they were so tired of writing about it. Anyway, if you are the type of person who enjoys playing the same song on the jukebox 10 times in a row, hey, go to it, buy the paper.

Mascots Creative Divisiveness On College Campuses

Mitch Albom "Cleared" By Bosses; Free To Whore Himself Out Again

Leitch — Mon, 16 May 2005 12:48:53 EDT

The Detroit Free-Press has completed its "investigation" of Mitch Albom, making sure he's not making any more crap up, and for now, their resolution appears to be: Hey, Mitch, keep writing books! We need the publicity. An "exhaustive" report in Monday's Free-Press analyzes Albom's methods and past stories, revealing that the wan one might be stretched too thin and a little too full of himself, but definitely no Jayson Blair. (Ironically enough, one of the Freep's quibbles with Albom involved quoting another paper without attribution in a story about Blair himself.) We can now look forward to more investigative Albom questions like, "What was that like, losing your mother?" "What would you do if you could do it all over again?" and, our favorite, "I know this is hard. Would you like a tissue?"

Albom Probe Shows No Pattern of Deception (Detroit Free-Press)