Cincinnati (-4) at Louisville- The Bearcats win the Big East if they can win on the road tonight at Louisville and then next week at home against Pitt. Yeah, Cincinnati might be in a BCS bowl. Prior to this the best bowl Cincinnati has ever been in is the PapaJohns Bowl. What's more they've only been to 10 bowl games in their history. Should be interesting to see how the team responds.

Miss. State at Alabama (-22)- Chances are you had no idea that Miss. State has beaten Alabama two consecutive years. And that in those two years Alabama hasn't scored an offensive touchdown. But they have. So that means Alabama probably isn't overlooking this opponent one week after they clinched the SEC West. Except, you know, this game is slotted between LSU and Auburn. Of course State also hasn't won a road game yet this season but, even still, this spread seems a bit high. Right? Especially since Alabama hasn't beaten any SEC team by more than 20 since the middle of September. But that's not stopping the Houndstooth twins, Maegen and Ashley Bailey, from remaining steadfast in their support.

Texas (-14) at Kansas- The year after their magical season the human blimp that is Mangino has returned to earth. At just 6-4, Kansas has lost every big game they've played this year, including 3 of their last 4 overall. Now Kansas has Texas and Missouri left on the schedule. Could Texas be ripe for the upset in Lawrence? If Kansas is going to have any kind of season worth remembering they have to win one of these final two. Otherwise they'll slink into a bowl at 6-6 and fans will have to convince themselves that 2007 actually happened. Don't worry, it did. We have the picture to prove it.

Meanwhile, Texas can't just win. They've got to slaughter Kansas and then sit back next weekend and root for Oklahoma to beat Texas Tech by 1. So it all comes down to the BCS standings to see who represents the Big 12 South in a three-way tie.

South Carolina at Florida (-23)- Steve Spurrier's headed back to the Swamp for the second time. In 2006, it took a blocked field goal on the final play of the game to preserve Florida's chance to play for a national championship. Now the Gators look unstoppable. But doesn't that line seem a bit high considering South Carolina has the best defense in the SEC? I think so. But then, Florida's offense has looked truly unstoppable for the past month. What would the over/under be in a hypothetical Florida/Big 12 Champion be? 85? Maybe.

Notre Dame (-4) at Navy- Remember way back when Notre Dame signed Charlie Weis to a 58 year contract extension and a few people questioned whether that was smart? And then Notre Dame fans got all upset and ripped anyone who didn't want to buy the lard from Charlie's gastric bypass surgery on eBay? Yeah, good job picking your battles. Weis's coaching record is worse than Bob Davie's. Navy has a winning record and is coming off a win at Notre Dame last year. Could Notre Dame really lose to Navy twice in a row?

Utah (-30) at San Diego State- As soon as they win this game Utah will be 11-0 and only have a home game remaining against BYU to complete a perfect regular season. Admit it, you don't care because they aren't in a Big 6 conference. God, you suck. Almost as much as San Diego State sucks. But not quite.

Ohio State (-9.5) at Illinois- One year after Ron Zook took Illinois to the Rose Bowl, he's got to beat Ohio State or Northwestern to be bowl eligible. Since September 13 Illinois has alternated wins with losses. Last week they lost. Can they take down Ohio State for the second year in a row?

Cal at Oregon State (-3)- The conspiracy to refuse to acknowledge that Oregon State remains on track to win the Pac-10 continues for yet another week. Oregon State has three games left and is standing at 5-1. Win out and they win the Pac 10 for the first time since 1965. Yet no one is paying attention to this. Except Beaver fans. Which should be everyone but Vince Young.

Georgia (-10) at Auburn- Tommy Tuberville has to beat either Georgia or Alabama to be bowl eligible. Who saw this coming? Tennessee's collapse has sort of sucked the air out of the national story surrounding Auburn. They couldn't really fire Tuberville could they? Last week Matthew Stafford saved the state of Georgia from the most dispiriting autumn since 1864. But there are still a couple of minefields remaining. This is one. Usually, anyway.

North Carolina (-3) at Maryland- Won't someone please win the ACC? In typical ACC fashion this year two new teams control their own destiny this week. If North Carolina wins all they have to do is beat N.C. State and Duke and they win the ACC's Coastal Division. That's simple enough. But if they lose? Who the hell knows. Same thing with Maryland, win their next three games and they win the Atlantic Division. Lose and we're back to being confused. What a mess.

Vandy at Kentucky (-4)- Remember back when Vandy was the feel-good story of college football and had won five games in a row? Yeah, now they've lost four consecutive games when a win could have made them bowl eligible for the first time since 1982. In two of these games, against Duke and Mississippi State, they've been favored to win. They have three games left to get that win. Can it happen in Lexington? If it doesn't you might be witnessing a pretty epic choke job.

Back when I wrote that I couldn’t wait to watch the BYU-TCU game, I meant it. Completely. But what I forgot was that I’d be on the road in a hotel room. I don’t know why it is but hotels have the most erratic cable channel selections known to man. If you’re anything like me you’ve found yourself lying on a bed, flipping through the channels, gradually getting more and more desperate as you realize that despite the fact you can buy a porn movie called, Ugly Chicks And Guys with Small Dicks (also known as the state of Ohio summed up in seven words) the hotel doesn’t carry something like ESPN 2. Back in 2004, I went to a friend’s wedding on the same day as UT at Ole Miss. (This was in the days back when my team was decent.) You haven’t seen anger until you’ve gone back to your hotel room and realized the hotel doesn’t carry ESPN 2. Unless, that is, you’ve ordered a porno movie for $14.99 and it’s soft core. So I was pretty much resigned to the fact that Versus wouldn’t be included in my cable’s television package. Then, miraculously, it was. So I got to watch BYU at TCU. And now we know that BYU is done for BCS purposes thanks to their 32-7 loss that was never close. Most amazing stat of the game? BYU rushed 28 times for 23 yards. That TCU run defense is unbelievable. So now we start the one-loss team handicapping. Because this year’s BCS Title Game isn’t going to feature any undefeated teams. Count on it. Here’s a breakdown of the 9 most interesting games coming up this weekend.

Georgia Tech (-2) at Clemson- This line moved from Clemson favored by 2 to Georgia Tech being favored by two after the Tommy Bowden firing. So does this mean Bowden’s brilliance is worth four points to Clemson? That would seem to be the case since nothing else changed. If so, the Tigers might as well cancel the rest of the season. By the way Mark Schlabach of ESPN.com pointed out to me the other day that Clemson is starting a student manager at right guard. How is this even possible?

Do you really blame Clemson’s C.J. Spiller for bailing on this game with a pulled hamstring? I don’t think I’d even bother returning to the team if I were him. He has nothing to gain. Just go ahead and put your name in the NFL Draft and see what happens.

Ohio State (-3) at Michigan State- Michigan State hasn’t beaten Ohio State since 1999 yet everywhere you look Michigan State fans are beating their chests, pissing on gray sweater vests, and bragging because they don’t go to Western Michigan. (Honestly, this might not be that different than usual.) Michigan State is quietly 3-0 in the Big Ten and hasn’t lost since their season opener at Cal on August 30th. If Michigan State can win this game then their season finale at Penn State will decide the Big Ten Championship. Book it. Which would be great for Michigan State fans since they haven’t been to the Rose Bowl since…1988. Wow.

Kansas at Oklahoma (-20)- Oklahoma rebounds from their loss to Texas by bringing in Mark Mangino and company. Kansas has been quietly winning since their only loss to South Florida on September 12. Given that they’re twenty point underdogs this has impressed no one. I don't even know what to write about this game either. So here's a picture of Mark Magino. Enjoy.

Southern Cal (-43) at Washington State- This line opened with USC favored by 42 on the road and went up. Up! People looked at this line and thought, I can get Washington State at home and 42 points or USC on the road effectively starting off down 42 points. And everyone went with USC. So now you get 43 points in a road game. This has to be the most a team will be favored by on the road this season, right?

What’s also ridiculous about this? USC is favored by 43, yet the over/under on this game is only 55.5. You might be asking yourself, how has Washington State’s defense done in the Pac-10 so far? They’ve given up 66, 63, 66 to Cal, Oregon, and Oregon State respectively. UCLA put up just 28. What about margin of defeat? They’ve lost by 63, 49, 25, and 53 in the Pac-10 this season. So, yeah, I think I’d take USC too.

Miss. State at Tennessee (-7.5)- The over/under on this game is 37. That’s insane for a college game, one of the lowest of the year. Sadly, I think I’d still take the under. I’m taking my 9 month old son to this game on Saturday at Neyland. This will be his first college football game. He’s really excited. Or not at all. I’m already worried about the damage to his football fan psyche that is likely to ensue from watching a game this bad.

(Tennessee's season in one succinct image. Courtesy of blogger Loser With Socks)

Michigan at Penn State (-25)- Penn State has only won once in their past ten against Michigan. Now they’re favored by 25. That spread offense is awesome. So revolutionary. Do you think there are Michigan fans right now who are wondering how in the world they kicked Lloyd Carr to the curb in exchange for this? I wish Rich Rod had signed on at Alabama back in 2006 instead of extorting West Virginia and ‘Bama ending up with Saban. I hate you Rich Rod.

Meanwhile, what do Wisconsin fans have to be thinking right now as they stare into the beginning of a long, dark winter? They gave up a 19 point halftime lead to this Michigan team. That boggles the mind. I get the feeling that Wisconsin still hasn’t recovered from that half. In moments of clarity so does Joe Paterno. Of course the other half of the time Paterno is just nervous that Kerry Collins and Ki-Jana Carter are going to end up getting screwed this year.

Leaving off Vandy-Georgia's on me. It was included in my original write-up but not cut and pasted in the article. Yeah, I fucked up cut and pasting, I suck.

Vandy at Georgia (-15)- This spread strikes me as entirely too high given the split games these two have played in the past two years. In fact, barring a fumble late in the fourth quarter Vandy might be 2-0 against the Dawgs the past two seasons.

Now that Bobby Johnson has announced he's going with McKenzi Adams the question becomes, can Vandy stay close enough to wait for the inevitable Dawg brain freeze and take advantage of it? I don't think so, but I do think the Dores keep it closer than 15. Chris Nickson's only consolation prize is he'll have a lot more time to stare at the cleavage in the Georgia student section. And trust me, that's a lot of cleavage. Also, if you get there earlier enough you may or may not be able to see up the skirts of Georgia coeds from field level.

Virginia Tech at Boston College (-3)- BC has to win this game to stay alive in the Atlantic Division race meanwhile Virginia Tech can open up a commanding lead in the Coastal Division. The teams split two games last year. Is there a more incongruous match-up of conference fans than Virginia Tech Hokie fans traveling to Boston for this game? I don’t think so.

LSU (-2) at South Carolina – Remember after he lost to Vandy when I said Steve Spurrier was irrelevant? He lost the next week to Georgia but he’s won 4 in a row since then. Including two SEC road games. Now LSU is coming to Columbia and we get to see whether or not LSU is truly any good this season. People have forgotten that LSU had to sneak by Auburn at Auburn for their first conference win. Other than that LSU hadn’t played anyone prior to the collapse at Florida. So how will they respond? The world waits with bated breath. And by world I mean Cajuns and people from South Carolina who hate Clemson.

Missouri at Texas (-7)- Yesterday I was at an art museum with my wife (I know, I know) and they had a display of classic photos of Babe Ruth. It’s no secret that Babe Ruth looks nothing like an athlete. But while I was looking at the Babe, I started to think that Missouri quarterback Chase Daniel is the Babe Ruth of this era. Chase Daniel is the only guy I can picture going out and hitting on girls at his college campus and girls not sleeping with him because they don’t really think that he’s really Chase Daniel. I bet he goes out with Warren Buffett just so the Oracle of Omaha can vouch for him and help him pull puss. Warren: "Oh, yes (chortle) this is the real Chase. Let me show you his cash flow potential as an NFL quarterback. (Pulls out cocktail napkin and draws dollar sign piercing a vagina)." Once this happens, he takes the gals back to his throne-bed and has sex while eating drumsticks. This is how chubby boys do it in Texas. Even when they move to Missouri.

(This picture is never going to get old.)

Meanwhile Colt McCoy’s parents have real balls. Because Colt is his middle name. His first name is Daniel. Daniel McCoy and you want to be the starting quarterback at Texas? Not happening. How much has the boldness of naming their son Colt paid off? If he’s Daniel McCoy he’s probably majoring in Human and Organizational Development at Southwest Texas State. True story, Colt McKoy was born in New Mexico. This so troubled his dad that he brought a shoe-box full of Texas dirt and put it underneath the hospital bed to ensure that his son was son was “born over Texas soil.” Now any sane man would give up their state of birth and six years of life to be Colt McCoy out in Austin for a weekend. Hook 'em.