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more about #bartolocolon more comments → Kid Canada: Someone forgot to tell Bartolo that when you meet a girl nicknamed "Dirty Diana", it's not necessarily a tribute to the Michael Jackson song. more » NordoftheBlings: "Good God, he's back!""In many ways, Ozzie's Big Boy never left, sir." more » UpstateUnderdog: Colon needs to look at the man in the mirror and come to grips with the death of Michael Jackson. more » Weed Against Speed: Ozzie Guillen explained to reporters that Colon is notoriously difficult to track down thanks to a phalanx of cousins... Coincidentally, their names a... more » ClueHeywood: Bartolo calls gravy "Jesus Juice." more » Jews For Purple Jesus: If you thought this was bad, wait and see how upset Colon gets when one of the Butthole Surfers dies. more » the earl of weaver: His "disappearance" was really just an aversion to phones and an inability to cope with his dinner's passing. /fixed more » ArkansasFred: Why can't people mourn MJ in healthy, constructive ways? For example, to cope with the grief I built a giraffe paddock in my downtown backyard. more » Weed Against Speed: You can say what you want, Ozzie Guillen will always believe that Michael Jackson was even a bigger fag than Jay Mariotti. more » UpstateUnderdog: Talk about an "Off the Wall" quote from Ozzie. more » MarkKelsosMigraine: In MJ's honor, Bartolo will pitch Bad tonight and may just Beat It off the roster altogether. more » Weed Against Speed: Bartolo was not a fan, however, of Weird Al Yankovic's Michael Jackson parody songs, with all the eating and fat references and whatnot. more » Steve U: thanks to a phalanx of cousins WE! ARE! RELATED THROUGH OUR PARENTS' SIBLINGS! more » Hatey McLife: Colon on the DL? That just reminded me to set my DVR for the McMillan and Wife marathon. more » Weed Against Speed: If you're looking for a missing Colon, wouldn't it make sense to put Encyclopedia Brown on the case? more » -
#mlb
Bartolo Colon "Found," Still Mourning Michael Jackson
There's no visual evidence of Bartolo Colon's whereabouts—NASA is working on it—but the White Sox say he will pitch tonight. His "disappearance" was really just an aversion to phones and an inability to cope with MJ's passing. More » -
#mlb
Have You Seen This Fat Guy?
The White Sox seemed to have lost something. It's about six feet high, 250 pounds (roughly), and occasionally has trouble locating its curveball. Oh, and it's scheduled to starttonighttomorrow so if you've seen a Bartolo Colon anywhere, please call. More » -
#chicagowhitesox
Why Do The White Sox Need Think They Need Pitching Help Anyway?
Poor Bartolo Colon. 8 runs (only one earned, though!) in two innings of work and then the world caved in. [Yahoo!] -
#wakeupdeadspin
This Man Is An Elite Athlete
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap. More »
