So let us lead you on a journey through their violent, messy and loss-filled 2009 campaign. It's sure beats a January swim in Lake Erie. (Barely.)

After failing to making the playoffs for the sixth consecutive season, the Browns begin the 2009 offseason by firing head coach Romeo Crennel and replacing him with Eric Mangini—who had been fired himself just days earlier after leading the New York Jets to the non-playoffs. One of his first acts as coach is to order a mural depicting former Cleveland football greats be painted over. [AP]
USC head coach Pete Carroll announces that he has been "talking ball" with Mangini during the downtime of the offseason. Later that year, Carroll's Trojans fail to finish the 2009 season ranked in the AP Top 5 or in first place in the Pac-10 Conference, the first time either of those events have occurred since 2001.
In the early hours of March 14, Browns wide receiver Donté Stallworth strikes and kills a pedestrian while driving his Bentley in Miami Beach. Stallworth would later plead guilty to DUI manslaughter and serve 24 days of a 30-day jail sentence. He is put on two years of house arrest, eight years of probation, and suspended by the NFL for one year without pay.
In June, former Browns hero Bernie Kosar files for bankruptcy. His December appearance in the ESPN documentary, "The U," helps explain why.
During Browns training camp, Derek Anderson accuses Brady Quinn—his rival for the starting quarterback position—of turning over offensive signals to the defense to sabotage Anderson's performance during a scrimmage. [AP]
Week 1: Brady Quinn is named the starting quarterback for the regular season opener against Minnesota. The Browns lose, 34-20. [AP]
Week 2: Mangini fines an unnamed Browns player $1,701 dollars, because he took a $3 bottle of water from his hotel mini-bar and didn't pay for it. The Browns lose their second game of the year and fall to 0-2 [AP]
Week 3: The Browns lose their third game of the season to fall to 0-3. Sports Illustrated's Joe Posnanski declares, without hyperbole, that Mangini is "the worst head coach hire in 25 years." [AP]
A bit of rookie hazing goes awry, when first-year cornerback Coye Francies is doused with a bucket of water at practice, and he responds by throwing buckets of ice—and punches—at several of his teammates, before having to be restrained in front of a locker room full of reporters. [Getty]
James Davis suffers a season-ending shoulder injury during a "post-practice opportunity period" when the running back—who was not wearing pads—was "trucked" by a Browns linebacker wearing full pads. (The Browns deny the no pads claims.) Later in the year, teammate Jamal Lewis accuses Mangini of working the team too hard during training camp and practice, leaving players too worn out for Sunday games.
Week 4: The Browns lose to Cincinnati, when the Bengals kick a 31-yard field goal with five seconds remaining in overtime. Replays are inconclusive, but Browns defensive coordinator Rob Ryan (and others) believe the kick should have been ruled a miss. The NFL does not agree. The Browns are 0-4.
The evening after the loss to the Bengals, disgruntled and distracted wide receiver Braylon Edwards is accused of a punching a promoter outside a Cleveland nightclub. Ten days later, Edwards is traded to the Jets. [AP]
Week 5: The Browns record their first win of the season, a 6-3 triumph over the 1-3 Buffalo Bills. They will not win again until December. [AP]
With trade/benching rumors swirling around him, Brady Quinn puts his Cleveland-area home up for sale.
Week 6: The Browns fall to 1-5 after losing to Pittsburgh 27-14. Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi declares, with much hyperbole, that the Browns are "the most fucked franchise in all of sports." [AP]
During the November bye week, the Browns fire general manager George Kokini. (Not pictured.) A group of fans representing the famous "Dawg Pound" plan a temporary boycott of the upcoming Ravens game. The Browns would lose that game, 16-0, and fall to 1-8.
Week 11: The Browns blow a 24-3 first-quarter lead to the hapless Detroit Lions, eventually losing the game when Matthew Stafford—playing the final down with a dislocated shoulder—throws a game-winning touchdown as time expires.
Week 15: One of the season's lone bright spots, Josh Cribbs scores two kickoff return touchdowns against Kansas City, breaking the NFL's career record. His wife immediately takes to the internet to make contract demands.
Improbably, the Browns win their last four games of the season, all against teams that were .500 or below. They finish 5-11, 4th place in the AFC North. On December 21, the Browns hire Mike Holmgren to be president of the team. Despite having only one season at the helm, at present, Mangini's future as coach is uncertain.

According to ESPN.com, via Schefter, Edwards has been traded to the Jets. This is a somewhat surprising move for several reasons—one of which is that the Jets are actually kind of good and handing a headcase to their rookie quarterback will certainly not help his poise. Also, the NFL is still investigating whether Edwards violated their conduct policy by punching a friend of LeBron James, so that's another headache they don't need.

ALSO: Michael Crabtree is finally a 49er, but he's pretty much already squandered his rookie year and will likely be playing catchup for his entire career so we don't have to think about him anymore.

Source: Braylon Edwards of Cleveland Browns traded to New York Jets [ESPN]
San Francisco 49ers, Michael Crabtree agree to contract [ESPN]
Braylon heads to Broadway [PFT]

Club promoter Edward Givens filed a police report stating that he was given a black eye outside a Cleveland nightclub last night. The suspect's name was not given in the report, but Givens had no problem telling the Cleveland Plain Dealer that it was Edwards—and also that Givens' face was merely a proxy for Braylon's jealousy of mutual acquaintence LeBron.

Here's Givens' side of the story:

"After the club closed, I was outside greeting and saying goodbye to people. Braylon comes up and started saying things, degrading me. He said if it wasn't for LeBron or the Four Horsemen, I wouldn't have what I have, nor would I be able to get girls. Everyone knows Braylon has a problem with LeBron. So I had to speak up for myself. The conversation started to escalate. As some of his teammates started to pull him back, he punched me. I have a black eye and a cut. I'm not a violent guy.

"As long as I've known Braylon, I've allowed him and his friends to come into our events free of charge. Whatever jealousy he has with LeBron, he felt he needed to take it out on me."

Edwards—obviously amped up after his zero catch performance against the Bengals—then allegedly got involved in another disturbance that police had to break up, although it appears that he was not arrested for either incident. The whole story is a nice little capper to the Browns 0-4 start and Braylon's anti-LeBron violence can only further endear him to already swooning populace of northern Ohio. I believe that earlier in the evening he also sent a text to Bob Feller telling him to "get bent."

Cleveland man accuses Browns Braylon Edwards of assault [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

UPDATE: Lebron responds, calls Edwards "childish." [ESPN]

UPDATE 2: Braylon (maybe?) responds: "I have no issue with LeBron. I respect and admire him." [Twitter]

Cleveland fans are still coming to terms with the notion that Edwards will continue to be their wide receiver after much talked about trade rumors fizzled out this offseason. It's been noted many times that Edwards had more dropped passes than any wideout in the NFL last season, which suggests a certain lack of concentration. So now is probably not a good time for this tidbit to show up in ESPN: The Magazine. It's a quote from pretty boy defensive back Will Demps about his last encounter with Braylon.

"Last year I was with the Texans, and when we played the Browns, Braylon Edwards asked me between plays if we could talk after the game about modeling and acting."

In case you're wondering, Cleveland got thumped in that game leaving "their season in shambles." Demps explains that there is a price to be paid for his own modeling career, saying that "teammates tease me in the locker room. Everyone calls me Pretty Willie, and they hang up magazines I've been in." That doesn't seem to be an issue for Edwards, since complaints about his starstruck dreams go back beyond last year. (Edwards has his own fragrance, a tailor on speed dial and likes to hang out with the boys from "Entourage.")

And a pretty young athlete who enjoys the company of his bros? You know where this is heading. Now the unsubstantiated rumors about his personal life are turning into unsubstantiated rumors about his football prospects.

First of all, let me start out with the fact that I think this is ridiculous. I have a friend who is inside the NY Giants and this morning I talked to him about the draft and the subject of Edwards came up.

No lie, he said that there was a big concern how he would fit in the locker room because a lot of people thought he was gay. He said that for some reason a good deal of the players believe that Braylon is gay and that is why he wants to go to New York (because it is a better atmosphere for homosexuals) and this has actually come up as a concern within the Giants in trading for him

You know how people say that nothing on the internet ever dies? Well, this latest rumor probably has something to do with Braylon's sexy man-friend that always-reliable MediaTakeout introduced the world to last year. I mean, just look at the pictures! Hugs! Thankfully, MediaTakeout is able to both introduce and shut down the rumors in one fell swoop, thanks to helpful commenters like this:

I LIVE IN CLEVELAND AND SEE HIM AT PARTIES and NICE RESTAURANTS. TRUST ME PLEASE** THE MANS GOT MO HOES THAN AT GOLF COURSE**

Good enough for me. On the other hand....

ANY PROFESSION WHERE ITS "ALL MEN" LIKE SPORTS OR THE ARMED FORCES WHERE YOU ARE ONLY AROUND OTHER MEN AND GETTING NAKED AND SHOWERING WITH OTHER MEN...THESE MEN ARE TRULY THE GAYEST MEN ON EARTH! BUT SOCIETY VIEWS THEM AS STR8 when they are the MAIN ones checking for other men...

Excellent point? But before the rest of you judge, remember this:

If you're so straight,

#1 Why are you on a gossip blogging site early in the morning??
#2 Putting so much effort in observing another man and clocking his "T"?

Ladies if you want to call anyone supspect, these are the men you should be questioning!

(Psst. She's talking about you.)

Hollywood Bray Update [Cleveland Frowns]
"Last year I was with the Texans [Dawgs by Nature]
SUSPICIOUS PICS: NFL's Braylon Edwards And His CLOSE MALE COMPANION!!! [Media Takeout]
Part of why Giants passed on Braylon-Don't shoot the messenger [Scout.com]

You see, like Terrell Owens and Billy Sims, he just cares too damn much. And all he gets from the Cleveland faithful in return is grief and name-calling.

“I’m not Paul Warfield, Webster Slaughter or Jim Brown. I’ve given my all to this city for four years, and I realize it will never be enough. I went to the Pro Bowl last year and resurrected this team from the darkness, and nobody cared.”

“People in this town believe they are entitled to too much. They have been disrespectful to me and my family. I’ve gone out in public with my family and have had to deal with being called foul names. My parents have been called vulgar things at restaurants.”

“My biggest problem is that I actually give a damn. I’m always rushing back from surgeries and injuries, never missing games or practices. But through this, I’ve learned how to overcome adversity. I’m also proud of how my foundation has taken off. I’ve been doing all this community service in Cleveland … my charity efforts will only be in Detroit from now on.”

On the other hand, Cleveland fans think that passes aren't exactly feeling the love from Braylon's hands. He's in the fourth year of a five-year contract and it's increasingly unlikely that he will be back to finish it next season. And if he thought the fans weren't happy with him before, then Sunday's home game against the Bengals should be a real treat for him and his family.

Braylon Edwards’ Quote of the Day [WFNY]
Braylon Edwards Just Wants R-E-S-P-E-C-T [Starting Blocks]

He even caught five passes for 100+ yards on Monday night. Yet, the guy still heard boos during the Browns' 20-point loss. What gives?

I could care less about fans, media, people talking about trading me and the B.S. that's going on with our team and the season. I've got a job to do. My job is to catch the football.

Is your job also to lead the league in drops, because that seems to be the root of a lot of the displeasure. Or maybe it's something else?

I've learned being here that I'm very unappreciated. Not in the organization, just in the eyes of the fans, the city. Since Day One I've been a marked man coming from Michigan. It's just gone that way. Even when things are good, there's heckles.

Huh? Oh, because you're in Ohio and you went to Michigan, your own fans want you to fail? I can see that. But the important thing is that you had fun, right?

Right now I'm having fun. We didn't win the game, but when I was out there I was lining up, I was having fun running routes and getting open, talking a little jibber-jabber back and forth and catching the ball.

Jibber-jabber? Ok, now I just pity the fool.

Braylon Keeps Digging: Seriously, WTF is Wrong with This Guy? [Frowns]
Hey, Braylon: It’s Not About Michigan. [WFNY]

Edwards was pulled over on Aug. 29 in Avon, Ohio, for doing 120 mph in his Bentley along Interstate 90. The cop, seeing that Edwards wasn't drunk, and buying a story that a passenger was sick (good one), let the wide receiver off with a warning. Howeva ... a local TV station got ahold of the story and called Avon Police Chief Paul Romond for a comment. So the officer was reprimanded and Edwards got his ticket anyway; just three weeks late.

The officer apparently was star-struck over meeting the Pro Bowler, said Avon Police Chief Paul Romond. The chief said he learned of the incident on Thursday when WOIO-TV in Cleveland asked about the matter. Edwards, who last month was sidelined with a cut foot, downplayed the incident. "The officer let me off for good behavior," Edward said Friday. "Because of Channel 19 (WOIO), it got brought back up, got resurfaced and there it was. I got a ticket. But I'm not the first person to get a speeding ticket."

The length and quality of Edwards interviews on WOIO this season should be fantastic.

Browns Pro Bowl WR Braylon Edwards Gets Belated Speeding Ticket [Fox61]

Edwards and Phelps have University of Michigan ties and struck up a friendship. Edwards bragged before Beijing that he would more than double Phelps' gold-medal total with touchdown catches. After Phelps' record eight golds, Edwards needs to set another franchise record.

Edwards, who has been dealing with foot issues, may have gotten himself in over his head. He now needs to top his 2007 total of 16 touchdowns to claim bragging rights. Although I'm not sure that two NFL TD's equals an Olympic gold. Unless it's a gold medal in race-walking. That sport's just dumb.

Smooth, stylish, kickass taste in cars and clothes and Christ, man, not gay, jerks, Braylon is perhaps the only man who truly, deeply understands the future course of sports media. It is through him that we will all be saved. Who else?

So: Do you like the Braylon Edwards? Do you not like the Braylon Edwards? Speak truth to power, people.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

This is fine, of course. That time we knocked our head on the toilet back in 1993 lead us to come up with the concept of the flux capacitor, which inspired our invention of the Interwebs; so, you know, we're not just whistlin' Dixie here. We do know that Costas has mixed feelings (at best) about the series of tubes, Braylon Edwards is an outstanding wide receiver for the Cleveland Browns and Buzz ... well, Buzz has some thoughts about blogs.

Blogs especially, Bissinger says, "disgrace the written word. No one sweats over a sentence anymore, no one really cares if a sentence has good grammar or bad grammar. No one really cares if it has the right or wrong word. Blogs are all about opinion, all about getting in your face, and the fact that people love them says they're really not interested in facts, not interested in beautiful writing; they're just interested in having our own opinions certified.

"With the Internet, there's too much information out there, and we've become a very mindless country. I don't know how else to say it: We really revel in ignorance and disinformation."

So, yeah: This'll be fun. (For the record, we own — and love — every one of Bissinger's books and agree that David Eckstein is scrappy.)

We have no idea how this is gonna go down, but we will do our best to talk slow, make eye contact and try really hard not to embarrass everybody. Godspeed.

So, probably not. Dick.

Also, yesterday, Busted Coverage unveiled these probably inappropriate by NFl code of conduct policy-standard photos of Browns' wideout Braylon Edwards, gearing up for the game by blasting assault rifles.

AFC/NFC Pro Bowl: 4;30 EST on Fox [NFL]