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more about #joselima more comments → UkraineNotWeak: I saw Jose Lima walking through Soho in the rain with a Chinese menu in his hand. #melissalima more » J-No: I think NASA has kidnapped Jose Lima for testing because clearly there is no gravity in a 3 foot radius of the man. #melissalima more » ClintonPortishead: Dear Melissa Lima, Jose will come back if you can touch your elbows together behind your back. Just try reaaaal hard. Pictures or it didn't count! L... more » The Gizmo from Pismo: So instead of staying with her and cuddling in the pillows...he goes to ride the pine in Canada. So sad. #melissalima more » AzureTexan: Actually, I'm pretty sure I saw Mr. Lima on that dreadful Witness Protection show on the USA Network, "In Plain Sight." They'd renamed him Jose Cuervo... more » twoeightnine: That wasn't so hard. He's either in California or Canada. I think it's time to get you know who on the case. #melissalima more » Bobby Big Wheel: Wherever Jose Lima is, he's trying to stay anonymous. Are we sure he isn't....Clinton Portishead? #melissalima more » Business_Socks: I'd help her but my fees are high. I demand a free motorboat. #melissalima more » Steve U: Clearly, Jose's migratory patterns can only be tracked via the RFID tags they use on humpback whales and certain aquatic birds. #melissalima more » DennyCrane: #headasplode #melissalima more » Steve U: "Um, I'm not sure 'give me more of that dirty prehensile tongue, you Philly Phanatic' really translates into Spanish . . . " #melissalima more » The Gizmo from Pismo: That kid is rude. Totally blocking the view. #melissalima more » Weed Against Speed: This isn't the first time AJ has asked a woman to call his phone and say something in Spanish, but Linda Ronstadt thought his mustache was creepy and ... more » MarkKelsosMigraine: I always imagined the perfect woman would be a divorced mom, engaged in a battle for child support with her baseball player-ex, wearing bunny ears and... more » Karlifornia: I think mom must have lactated buttermilk. #melissalima more » -
#duan
Searching For Jose Lima: Readers Lend A Hand
Yesterday, we posted the email correspondence between us and our new bestfriendf4evah, Melissa Lima, who, for some daffy reason, is having trouble tracking down her ex-husband, pitcher Jose Lima. Many readers have offered to pitch in. More » -
#sadbimsy
Bosom Buddies: A Correspondence With Melissa Lima
This job, unlike many others in "sports media," provides plenty of absurd scenarios on a weekly basis. But this one, involving Jose Lima's ex-wife, Melissa, thrusts us headlong into Eugene Ionesco territory. More » -
#wakeupdeadspin
Jose Lima Returns For Another Go Around
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap More » -
#limatime
Where In The World Is Jose Lima?
This is a sad thing for us all to come to terms with, but Jose Lima — along with his, uh, ample wife — is not going to be in the majors next season. But worry not: There's always Korea. More » -
