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more about #miamidolphins more comments → Pete Gaines: It's weird, sure, but then again...there are players in the NFL who still swear by Breathe Right strips. Sooooo...yeah. Athletes are stupid. more » Theodore Donald Kerabatsos: Ricky Williams - Battier Than You Realized You mean he's got great fundamentals and a wrinkly head? more » Phintastic: He helped me one night when I was in the club, I got some Pranic at the Disco. more » BruschisBrewsky: This is shocking, as in my experience anyone who wears a beard like that has been perfectly sane. more » Hit Bull Win Steak: I wonder if Jesus would frown upon Pilates as part of his offseason workout program? #tedginn more » AzureTexan: The guy who Ginn really needs to keep an eye on this Sunday is Tampa Bay special-teamer Judas T. Iscariot. #tedginn more » Lionel Osbourne: I haven't seen faith misplaced this badly since Dimitrius Underwood left services at Immanuel's Temple Community Church in Lansing. #tedginn more » Chamomiles Davis: All I know is that the guy in my fantasy league who drafted Ginn denied it three times. #tedginn more » MarkKelsosMigraine: Palm Sunday is Allen Iverson's favorite Holy Day of Obligation. #tedginn more » roland_t_flakfizer: Bobby Carpenter is pissed about this press, especially since he just converted and bought a bumper sticker company. #tedginn more » MattinglysSideburns: Dan's late brother, Doug, would feel that he's floating towards trouble with comments like those. #tedginn more » twoeightnine: Well Jesus was black... #tedginn more » RichardDJoke: Jesus would run a better crossing pattern and fully extend his arms-- even if he knew he was going to take a hit. more » ArkansasFred: Uh-oh, Ted. Looks like you have to Dan Brown-proof your garbage cans now. #tedginn more » I Party With Smoot: Well, there do seem to be holes in his hands... #tedginn more » -
#nfl
Ricky Williams - Battier Than You Realized
Williams credits his success and durability this season to a new type of alternative medicine. No, he doesn't mean weed, as we're all assuming. Ricky's "pranic healing" regimen is far stranger. More » -
#nfl
Ted Ginn: A Lot Like Jesus!
Says Miami O-Coordinator Dan Henning: "In the Bible, on Palm Sunday they threw flowers at the Good Lord, then on Friday they....beat the shit out of him, crucified him....in this league they give us seven days....only gave him five." [NBCMiami] -
#nfl
Dolphins Aim To Keep Saints From Touching Themselves Further
Miami linebacker Channing Crowder muses about this weekend's opponent, New Orleans: "They're undefeated, they're probably smelling themselves, rubbing each other's balls." Except the Miami Herald changed the quote to "[back]." Yeah, that's basically the same thing. [Herald/Twitter] -
#mediameltdowns
Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise. More » -
#nfl
Welcome To The Chad Henne Era, Miami Fans
Chris Mortensen says: Chad Pennington has a torn shoulder something and is probably done for the year. (He'll get a second opinion, but James Andrews has already cut him open twice.) That's why Jimmy Buffett invented the Wildcat, right? [ESPN/SecondStringFullback] -
#ballsdeep
Why Your Team Sucks: Miami Dolphins
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.
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#nfl
Put Your Hand Up If You Don't Own The Dolphins
Not so fast, Williams sisters. Venus and Serena join Gloria Estefan, Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez as minority owners in Miami. "Minority" meaning as opposed to majority owners, not as opposed to white people. [AP] -
#wakeupdeadspin
This Way To The Pajama Party Of The Dead
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap. More » -
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#whimsy
T-Pain (and Auto-Tune) Makes Dolphins Fight Song Slightly Less Terrible
Miami has long relied on terrible music to rally their football team, but this is the 21st Century, so they hired T-Pain to hip-hopify their fight song by 20% or so. The kids love this stuff. More » -
#nfl
Would You Let Ricky Williams Massage Your Head?
Ricky Williams is no longer searching for enlightenment in the bottom of a water bong. Oh, he still wants enlightenment, but now he's looking for it in a second career as a holistic healer. More » -
#miamidolphins
New Land Shark Stadium Upgrades Include Creepy Old Man Cam
There are plenty of new amenities for Parrotheads and Dolphinheads alike at Jimmy Buffet's Land Shark Stadium, but one of the most potentially troublesome is a device for the well-to-do horny fellas not interested in the game to eye-grope the cheerleaders. More » -
#miamidolphins
The Dolphins Will Play In Landshark Stadium
In an effort to turn Dolphin Stadium into the world's largest Margaritaville. Although it's not expected to draw nearly as many people as the bar's other locations. [Miami Herald] -
#nfl
Wait ... Is That Scarface's Intro Music I Hear?
How Tony Montana may have ended the Miami Dolphins' season. [The Love Of NFL] -
#nfl
Ravens Ravish Dolphins
Joe Flacco ends the rookie QB curse, Ed Reed can't take a hint, and Baltimore cruises past the turnover-happy Dolphins, 27-9 [NFL.com] -
#nfl
Baltimore at Miami: An NFL Playoff Murder Mystery
Consider this your open thread for the 1:00 p.m. AFC Wild Card Game. More » -
#wakeupdeadspin
Surprisingly, This Does Not Belong To Ricky Williams
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap More »
