Deadspin 
Enter your username and password.
-
more about #sadwhimsy more comments → Business_Socks: For a second, I thought this was Daulerio's story. I started skimming for the part where he suffered a head injury that left him borderline illiterate. more » Stev D: So, did Cindy's lost 45 minutes include a trip back to the Olive Garden- perhaps lured by the endless pasta's siren song? more » dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: YOU HAVE DEFECATION ALL OVER YOU, WE ARE TAKING YOU WITH US!!! -Germans more » Kid Canada: Who knew that Boomhauer from King of the Hill was a Deadspin reader? more » Chamomiles Davis: This story gets an A-minus for content and a C-plus for grammar. Never end two clauses in the same sentence with a preposition, much less one. I don't... more » Steve U: I haven't told anyone Indeed you haven't, Bob H. Indeed you haven't. more » The Curse of Harold Ballard's Bunker: That read like the lyrics of a bad Springsteen song. Don Juan of the Trailer Park Some half pint from the local trailer park Met me in the restroom ... more » Stev D: He may be short, but I think we know who's the real small man. You. more » Mr. Praline: But where was Mamula? more » Business_Socks: This also marks the 20th anniversary of his English teacher feeling compelled to scoop her eyes out with a melon baller. more » Gourmet Spud: How does it end? I keep getting to the "[rewind]" part and having to start over. more » Hit Bull Win Steak: This is like "Failgate" getting a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Future more » Steve U: Christ, I thought we were done with Moe on the weekends. more » twoeightnine: So did you blow him or not? more » MattinglysSideburns: Why was this guy even at Melissa Gilbert's wedding? more » -
#sadwhimsy
This Night Ended With A Brown Out
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Readers can empathize. Heed their warnings. More » -
#sadwhimsy
Beware The Don Juan Of The Trailer Park
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Readers can empathize. Heed their warnings. More » -
#sadwhimsy
Drinks Are Drank, Cleavage Flys And Everyone Was Blotto
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Readers can empathize. Heed their warnings. More » -
#sadwhimsy
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Meanness
While most Americans will be knee-capping each other at Wal-Mart on Friday, we'll roll out our other stories. But I just had to run this one from "Jon," a reader whose Charlie Brown-like tale of reunion woe is truly spectacular.
More »
-
#sadwhimsy
TV Guide Writers Captivated By Any Ex-Dukie Matchup (Update)
What was the most compelling storyline of this weekend's Orlando-Boston showdown? The heated rivalry between J.J. Redick and Shelden Williams that dates to the time Williams stole Redick's juice box on the team bus to Wake Forest. [Thanks, Todd] More » -
#nhl
This Is Why Anaheim Hockey Fans Can't Have Nice Things
Anaheim's Scott Niedermayer offered his stick to a fan after he won star of the game. Unfortunately, it sparked a melee between two gentlemen and a blond woman as a helpless Niedermayer looked on from the ice. [Puck Daddy/HTA.SanFillippo] -
#sadwhimsy
2012: Why See The Movie If You Already Know What's Coming
Yes, everyone's favorite lizard conversationalist, Darren Daulton, has a website to promote his metaphysics "starter kit" so everyone can be prepared for falling buildings, tidal waves, and John Cusack's erratic piloting. [Dutch2012.com] -
#nba
Brave Peacemaker Of Casino Cafeteria Chair-Throwing Lady Brawl Rewarded With NBA Assistant Job
Yes, Tim Floyd, has been hired to be part of the Charlotte Hornets staff after the firing of head coach Byron Scott. GM Jeff Bower is now head coach. [Yahoo!] -
-
#sadwhimsy
Breaking: World Frantically Googling The Sports Guy's Wife, Bruno Kirby
As Leitch noted earlier, the fascination with the Sports Fella extends, a little creepily, to his wife. And now look: She's the No. 11 Google hot trend, two notches below "sammy sosa bleached" and 19 sports ahead of "bruno kirby." More » -
#sadwhimsy
Cornell Business School: Home Of All Sorts Of Savory Juices
Yes, this has nothing to do with sports whatsoever. This is just completely embarrassing and awful and you won't be able to stop reading it: You're my hero!!!! My knight in shining armor!!! My private porn star!!!!! [GuestOfAGuest via Gawker] -
#sadwhimsy
Spirited Phillies Fan Still Confused By How Internet Works
This Angry Woman is lashing out at you monsters for your "disgusting display of immature rudeness" and something-something-something about her YouTube video which she removed. Visit her in the comments section at your own risk. [Deadspin] -
#sadwhimsy
Fear Of A Blackface Planet: Cowboys Cheerleader, Meet Deron Williams
Yes, poor Whitney Isleib is getting some mixed reviews after she decided to shoe polish her face in order to authenticate her Lil' Wayne costume, but there is decidedly less uproar over Deron Williams' terrifying Cal Ripken costume. More » -
#wakeupdeadspin
Dennis Rodman, In The Pink
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap. More » -
#sadwhimsy
Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders. Part 87
New blue blood/great white hope, Ryan Leaf has finally kicked his silly vicodin addiction and is busy starting his life over (again) in "environmentally soothing" Vancouver, B.C. He says he's finally found the cause of his personal problems — football. More » -
#mlb
The Nationals Should Give This Guy Season Tickets For Life
Great story from Captain Steinberg, still exiled in Bogville, about a Nationals fan who saw 19 home games for D.C.'s awful baseball team this year — and they managed to lose every single one of them. More » -
#sadwhimsy
Gun-Toting Soccer Mom Shot By Gun-Toting Husband
Tragic outcome to this story which made national news last year ago. Melanie Hain, a soccer mother who showed up at her daughter's soccer game packing heat, was shot to death by her husband in an apparent murder-suicide. [PennLive] -
#sadwhimsy
Teenage Football Players: This Woman Will "Catch You" And "Have Sex With You"
"Police say [Venus]Lewis, who appeared to be drunk, then walked to a set of picnic tables, pulled down her pants, and inserted a tampon before beginning to masturbate in front of the children." [Zimbio] -
#sadwhimsy
Ball The Pretty Horses: High Schoolers Show School Spirit With Equine Double-Team T-Shirts (UPDATE)
It seems a few hairy-palmed scamps at Houston's Memorial High School recently sold the t-shirt you see here to commemorate their Mustangs' football game against archrival Stratford. Think this is the only bit of Memorial-related horsefucking? Nay! More » -
#sadwhimsy
Somehow, The Chilled Afterlife Of Ted Williams Manages To Get Weirder
Workers at Alcor, the cryonics lab where the frozen leftovers of Ted Williams are being preserved in liquid nitrogen, allegedly decapitated the Splendid Splinter and mutilated his head with a monkey wrench. There goes the greatest sentence ever written. More » -
#sadwhimsy
Cub Fans Ruin Their Own Child's Life By Making Her A Cubs Fan
A Chicagoan e-mailed to ask why I have no love for the Windy City.Someone else e-mailed the answer. Meet new North Side resident, Waitle Nex Yeare. With any luck, the state has already placed her in protective custody. [Slanch]
