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more about #sammysosa more comments → Phintastic: "It's as if someone carefully deboned Sammy's face, rolled the skin and dipped it in an egg wash before dusting it with flour." Or, like someone thre... more » AzureTexan: Look. If Sosa wants to be white, I can teach him to be white. But he has to dedicate himself to it. He has to do what I say. He has to endure long day... more » Steve U: This new season of 24 is going to be fucking terrible. #sammysosa more » Matt Sussman: "pale as some manly Lady Gaga" CAN'T READ MY CAN'T READ MY NO HE CAN'T READ MY SOSA FACE #sammysosa more » ClueHeywood: Have we ruled out an intergalactic bug using Sammy's skin as a suit? #sammysosa more » Karlifornia: it's not the first time he has resembled Jackson." Matt McGwire wants the world to know that Sammy wasn't kissing his fingers, but smelling them. #... more » Phintastic: Good thing he didn't use the clear, the dude would have turned invisible. #sammysosasskin more » ClintonPortishead: Super White Sammy I'll take "Close Runners-Up To 'Mark Twain'" for 400, Alex. #sammysosasskin more » Chris Hanson's Axe: Its European! #sammysosasskin more » AzureTexan: The saddest part about Sammy using the new David Duke Line of skin-care products is that he now enjoys squirrel-meat stew, "Springer" reruns and the ... more » David Hume: To be fair, he's also been applying it below his ankles, to improve his renditions of "Sundown" and "Rainy Day People" at an upcoming karaoke night. #... more » Jefferson Tardship: "I'm not a racist, I live my life happily." Rush Limbaugh lives his life happily. Probably because of all the Oxycontin in his bloodstream. #sammysos... more » MattinglysSideburns: Coincidentally, "Primer Impacto" is also the name of the skin product he's using. #sammysosasskin more » MarkKelsosMigraine: After doing some half-assed Google research Maybe if you used your whole ass you wouldn't upset so many readers and ruin so many reputations. -Tracy... more » ClintonPortishead: Other side effects of Hydroquinone include loss of rhythm, an inflated credit score, and an appreciation for Bob Saget where there once was none. #sam... more » -
#duan
Chicago Tribune Deploys Troop Of Writers To Rip On Sosa's New Face
Sammy Sosa's new face has caused quite an international stir, but no more so than Chicago, specifically, the Chicago Tribune which did three different stories about Sosa's "cabeza blanca" that's captivated the nation. More » -
#sammysosa
Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
The formerly dark-skinned Sosa spoke out about his ghostly new look and he would like to let everyone know that he's not dying or anything: "It's a bleaching cream," he said. You don't say. More » -
#mlb
Sammy Sosa Would Like To Clear Up Some Things About His Skin
Sammy Sosa is not hoping to star in the White Chicks sequel. It is not some kind of alleged side affect from any alleged substances he allegedly may have put in his body. He just wants to be beautiful! More » -
#duan
Sammy Sosa Re-emerges As Shiny-Suited Latino Zombie
I have no idea what strange transformation Mr. Sosa is going through, but it's obvious that, yes, something is seriously messed up with Slammin' Sammy's pigmentation. More » -
#steroids
Ryne Sandberg Joins Wade Boggs In The "Stay Out Of Our Club" Brigade
If you are currently in the Hall of Fame and anywhere near a microphone, please state your preference on whether "steroid era" players deserve plaques like yours. Ryne Sandberg is the latest to go on record with a "no." More » -
#mediameltdowns
Journalist Who Bravely Uncovered McGwire's (Perfectly Legal, Over-The-Counter) Drug Use Up For HOF Award
In 1998, the AP's Steve Wilstein spotted a bottle of legal supplements in Mark McGwire's locker. A decade of stupidity and Reefer Madness hysteria ensued, the Bill of Rights died a little, and now people think Wilstein belongs in Cooperstown. More » -
#mlb
Bud Selig's Sosa Strategy: Plead Ignorance, Then Change The Subject
"I don't know whether this story is accurate or not.... people are gonna have to make their own judgments in the future.... Are they accurate? I don't know. You all will have to make that judgment." [Sports Radio Interviews] -
#loupiniella
Lou Piniella Doesn't Know About This Whole Steroid Thing The Kids Are Doing These Days...
The Cubs combustible manager remained calm, but plead ignorant, to Sammy Sosa's steroid use. And the reefer. [The Fightins] -
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#mlb
Sammy Sosa Reportedly Tested Positive For PEDs In '03. Whatever.
Sammy Sosa was among the players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, The New York Times is reporting, a revelation that means nothing whatsoever unless you care about Sosa's Hall of Fame chances or the Fourth Amendment. More »
