punishment - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights



Taste Roger Goodell's Wrath With Our NFL Punishment Generator
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is a ruddy incompetent who draws out decisions on punishing league employees in order to soak up the most positive attention he can. Until now, fans have only been to take part in this experience as third parties. Thanks to the NFL Punishment Generator, though, you too...

Report: Malcolm Butler Benched For Arriving Late To Voluntary Practice
The last time Malcolm Butler was in the news, it was because he was busy sealing a Super Bowl win for the Patriots with an incredible interception. But past accomplishments don’t earn you any leeway in Bill Belichick’s world. ...

Luis Suárez, On Chronic Biting: At Least I Never Bit Anyone's Ear Off!
You have to give it to Luis Suárez for at least one thing: the guy is not afraid to be honest, even if it makes him sound like a crazy man defending his own sanity. Judging from some excerpts in Sport from his new autobiography, the book is nowhere near the typical athlete's mid-career hagiography....

I Turned Out OK In Spite Of Corporal Punishment, Not Because Of It
Drew Magary's post yesterday on corporal punishment and parenting inspired a great deal of feedback, including a long, thoughtful email from a reader named Jason Mello, which, with his permission, we've reprinted below. ...

Rejoice: Hallucinating, Cop-Punching Laxbro Lands New College Team
Last year, Charley Gargano had a bad trip. The former Marquette lacrosse player dropped acid, wandered around in his boxers and socks, and proceeded to punch a lady-cop in the face before being pepper-sprayed, arrested, and charged with a felony and assorted misdemeanors. ...

Why Do People Hit Their Kids?
There's an old episode of What's Happening!! where Roger fucks up, and his mom decides to beat his ass (this is actually the plot of every episode of What's Happening!!). So his mom asks Rerun for his belt, only Rerun is 300-plus pounds, so when he takes out his belt, it's like eight feet long. ...

NFL Considering Increased Penalties For Domestic Violence
Hearing the backlash to the Ray Rice suspension, the NFL has reportedly had internal discussions about increasing the penalties for future cases of domestic violence. According to the Washington Post, the league has discussed a suspension of four to six game for a first offense and a potential year-...

Barcelona Slammed With Enormous Transfer Ban For FIFA Rules Violations
Today, FIFA announced unparalleled sanctions against Barcelona for repeated and systemic violations of the international body's youth transfer rules. Barcelona has been banned from any transfer activity for the entirety of next season. This is the coup de grâce in what already has been a monumentall...

Wyoming Football Coach Suspended, Fined For Phenomenal "Mr. Fucking Howdy Doody" Tirade
Dave Christensen's punishment was handed down yesterday for this, and it's rather steep: a one-game suspension and a $50,000 fine. The decision was made by the school's athletic director with the full support of the university president, according to a statement the AD issued that said some things...

Iowa School District Not Satisfied With Current Pussification Of American Students, Wants To Take It Up A Notch
They want to get rid of running laps as punishment in high school sports. Some scientist nerds say it amounts to corporal punishment. Corporal punishment is currently illegal in Iowa—way to go, guys—but there is a specific exemption in the definition allowing for "reasonable requests or requirements...

NCAA May Fine Penn State Up To $60 Million
CBS, who initially reported that Penn State's punishment would be "unprecedented," is now reporting that the NCAA will fine Penn State at least $30 million and could fine the school as much as $60 million and create an endowment for "children's causes" with the money....

