puns Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Local TV Anchors All Milked The Same Puns About The Big Cow
Perhaps you have heard about the big cow....
Railbirds Of A Feather: John Scheinman Hits The Board With Story Of Horse-Racing Legend Andrew Beyer<em></em>
The Washington Post ran a nice horse racing feature yesterday, which served as a preview for the 2017 Kentucky Derby. For the second year running, that preview wasn’t written by Andrew Beyer....
Dale Earnhardt Jr. Makes a Good Brain Pun
Dale Earnhardt Jr. is donating his brain to science, in a generous move, and says it’s a literal “no-brainer” decision. Nice....
Nick Faldo Crushes Rickie Fowler And Jonas Blixt With Orange Puns
Earlier on the Golf channel, Nick Faldo and Co. were calling action at the Barclays, where both Rickie Fowler and Jonas Blixt are decked out in head-to-toe orange. The two are paired together today and actually planned to wear similar colors, though the orange is Fowler's trademark....
Stop
Pretty sure Horton LIKES to be here. #CBJ pic.twitter.com/zBRTpkVvi0...
We Have A New Favorite Tennis Player: Jack Sock
This morning, Harvey Araton of The New York Times introduced the world to a U.S. Open qualifier named Jack Sock. Here's a passage that apparently posed no problem for any copy editors:...
Ronald McDonald Loved Seeing Bryce Drew, But The Ole Miss Fan Sitting Next To Him Just Grimaced The Whole Game
I don't have the context for this, and I don't want it. Clowns get damn good seats for being as scary as they are, and if you don't know why Ole Miss still hates Bryce Drew, take a trip down memory lane back to 1998....
ESPN's Headline Writers Join In The Linsanity: "Chink In The Armor" Edition
Linsanity is an unstoppable force that one can only hope to contain. Yes, according to many of you who read ESPN's mobile site, this is an actual "Chink in the armor" headline that the leader of sports—worldwide—blared to smartphone and other gadget users following the Knicks loss last night. ...
This Is A Kraftwerk Pun On The Cover Of <em>Sports Illustrated</em>
SI, as guest-edited by the old guy on staff at Pitchfork. [Via SI Now]...
Oh Yu: A Collection Of Awful Yu Darvish Headline Puns
Japanese pitcher Yu Darvish officially signed to a six-year, $60 million deal with the Texas Rangers on Wednesday. Darvish, perhaps the most highly-touted player to ever come out of Japan, will be counted on to help shore up the Rangers' pitching staff following the loss of their former No. 1 starte...
<i>SI's</i> Post-Championship Cover: Recycling A Jim Nantz Pun
Earlier today, we brought you wretched flashbacks from last night, when Jim Nantz, who is usually sharpei if mastiff, deployed the oldest dog-related puns in the bark. It was an announcing boner—the shih tzu see too often on TV. The line stank like poodle the moment we heard it....
Jim Nantz Predictably Overdoes It With The Dog Puns
To be fair to Worst Man Jim Nantz, we understand that a Huskies-Bulldogs final is a bit like Christmas for him. A Christmas trimmed with multiple opportunities for insufferable references to dogs and winning. And so when the buzzer sounded, Nantz dropped three dog puns in under 20 seconds. It was ...
Weekend Winner: Philly, Now Better Than New York At Everything, Including Dog-Pun Headlines
This is today's New York Post cover. For the sake of comparison, this was the Philly Daily News's cover back in September. Yeah, the Post should've just punted that shit out of bounds....
Notes On "Campdick": A Former NFLer On Ines Sainz And Locker-Room Sexual Tension
A babe reporter walks into a locker room. Catcalls ensue; jock straps fly; penises shrivel. She doesn't understand the words, but she understands the sexual tension. It's palpable when an attractive woman appears. Palpable. Players call it campdick....
And The Mariotti Mug Shot Photoshops Have Begun
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Why Your Team Sucks: New Orleans Saints
Some people are fans of the New Orleans Saints. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New Orleans Saints. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...
How Leagues Learned To Stop Loving And Worry About Steroids
The peril of steroids, like the Internet, wasn't apparent 40 years ago when Sports Illustrated published a prescient story about PEDs. In retrospect now, with steroids as dangerous as the Internet is real, professional sports appear more oblivious than ever....
Yankees Blowout: Can't You Smell That Smell?
So the Yankees lost yesterday by a fat, glorious pile of runs, 18 of them to be precise. How, you might wonder, have the city's clever and fiercely original tabloids responded? With olfactory puns!...