That striking matches sound you just heard was every Dolphins fan trying to burn their Dan Marino jerseys in tandem. I know it's been bad for the Dolphins, but, Quincy Carter bad? You'll recall that Carter played for Parcells at Dallas in 2004. Before heading to the Jets for three games and then failing in both the CFL and the Arena Football League 2 (yeah, the junior division). Supposedly Quincy will be trying out on Friday.

Carter's defense of himself is stellar:

“I see Ricky Williams playing again,” Carter told the Palm Beach Post before he checked into a South Florida rehab facility in December. “I only failed one test. Ricky failed about five or six.”

Yes, exactly, just what Dolphins fans want, someone who compares himself to Ricky Williams and has never issued a correct audible in his entire football career. John Beck and Chad Henne must be looking awesome in camp. Where oh where have you gone Jay Fiedler?

Dolphins QB race reaches nadir: Quincy Carter coming in for a tryout?

Carter’s relatively rapid rise up the depth chart (he was activated for his first game last week) comes on the heels of the Brigade’s 52-47 defeat at the hands of the division-leading Chicago Rush that dropped its record to 3-10.

Possibly the only man to have played for a major college, the NFL, AFL, af2, the Canadian Football League and been drafted in the majors (Chicago Cubs), Carter's career was derailed by drug use, including an arrest for marijuana possession in Louisiana in October of 1997. It was there that he hooked up with former Cowboy Hollywood Henderson — who's had his own battles with drugs — who is counseling Carter and trying to guide him toward a possible NFL comeback.

"He surrendered, man," Henderson recently told the Kansas City Star of the meeting with Carter. "He said, 'Tell me what you want me to do.' It choked me up. I knew I had to help this man."

Best of luck to Mr. Carter, whom I fully expect to see in a 49ers jersey by October.

Quincy Carter 'Living Life Day-To-Day Now' [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]
Quincy Carter Hits Bottom Again [Deadspin]
Brigade Names Quincy Carter As New Starting Quarterback [Kansas City Star]

The former Dallas Cowboys quarterback, whose full name is Lavonya Quintelle Carter, 29, was booked into the Shreveport City Jail just before 4 a.m. on one count of second offense possession of marijuana. A 911 caller told police a man at the Circle K convenience store at the corner of Youree Drive and Southfield Road in Broadmoor was selling drugs, police spokeswoman Kacee Hargrave said.

They've never officially come out and said it, but it is believed that substance abuse problems led to Carter's being released from the Cowboys in 2004; when you're benched for Vinny Testaverde, that's a pretty good bet. Carter then went to the Jets and spent a year in the Canadian Football League before landing with the Battle Wings, which had ended their season in August. So how does one go from being the heir apparent to Troy Aikman to being arrested at a Circle K in Shreveport in just six years? Evidently it isn't hard.

Quincy Carter Arrested On Drug Charges [Shreveport Times]
Ex-Cowboys Quarterback Faces Drug Charge [Dallas Morning News]
Alabama Steel Dogs

Myself, I'm a little surprised that af2 teams even have team meetings. Are they like support group meetings? Is everyone sitting around discussing how they couldn't cut it in NFL Europa, the Canadian league, and the big leagues of Arena Football? I'm just curious.

Quincy Carter, if you don't recall his brief but glorious tenure as a Dallas Cowboy, threw 32 career TDs against 32 career INTs before running into all sorts of drug problems. He had ranked an impressive 4th in af2 in passing efficiency, with a 117.9 rating, trailing J.J. Raterink, Ryan Vena, and former Rutgers superstar Ryan Hart. The Battle Wings, much to their credit, won without Carter last night, beating the Manchester Wolves 62-52.

Wings suspend Carter for two games [Shreveport Times]
Wolves fall to Battle Wings [Union Leader]

He had less than two ounces of the sticky on him, which is a class B misdemeanor. And anyone who's going to have his full, legal name of Lavonya Quintelli Carter printed in the newspaper the next day... well, I think he should be entitled to get himself as high as he wants. The police should give him a bag on his way out of his holding cell.

And the man responsible for his being released is a Forth Worth Star-Telegram columnist named Randy Galloway. Galloway had some fun at Carter's expense back in the day, and felt compelled to bail him out. Galloway called "Cowboy Bail Bonds" (The team has their own bail bonds company? Nice...) during his radio show.

The fact that it was a sports columnist who bailed him out... what's it matter? Slightly tacky and self-serving that he did it on the air, maybe. But I think it would be a stretch to call Quincy Carter an athlete at this point, and even if he still was, I think a columnist's "conflict of interest" is a poor reason to let a guy sit in jail. I'm sure this is nothing that Jay Mariotti wouldn't have done for Ozzie Guillen.

And if this is the way things are going to go now, with people who write about sports being obligated to post bond money for arrested athletes they once made fun of... well, I hope Stephon Marbury can keep himself out of jail, because I don't know if I can afford it.

Ex-Cowboy is arrested in Irving [Star-Telegram]

• 1977: Quincy is born.
• 1996: Quincy signs a letter of intent to play football for Georgia Tech, but decided instead to play baseball. He is drafted by the Chicago Cubs.
• 1998: Realizing that life couldn't possibly be worse than it is in the Cubs organization, Carter quits and wins the starting job at the University of Georgia.
• 1999: Has an outstanding sophomore season for the Bulldogs.
• 2000: Despite a difficult junior year, Quincy declares for the NFL Draft, where he is considered a third-or-fourth round pick.
• 2001: Jerry Jones shocks the NFL world by picking Quincy with the 22nd pick in the second round. Somehow, he ends up starting, and isn't quite as awful as everyone thought he'd be. Nevertheless, the Cowboys still sign
noted guitar artiste Chad Hutchinson in the offseason. It is most likely this is when Carter decided drugs were a much better option than life as a Cowboy.

Get the rest of Quincy's odd career after the jump.

• 2003: Carter, under new coach Bill Parcells, has an unexpected resurgence and leads the Cowboys to the playoffs. Some herald Jones a genius for recognizing Carter's potential before anyone else did. They say this quickly to Jones and scramble away, lest glancing on his face turn them into stone.
• 2004: Out of nowhere, Parcells releases Carter before the season begins, saying he "could not be trusted with the leadership of the team." Carter also fails a drug test. He ends up playing for the Jets, and isn't half bad. He suffers a "drug relapse" during the playoffs, however, and is again kicked off his team.
• 2005: He moves to St. Louis and officially retires from the NFL.
• 2006: He accepts an offer from the CFL's Montreal Alouettes in April. He lasted one month before QB Carter Released From Als' Camp [TSN]
Quincy Carter [Wikipedia]