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Lil Wayne Mixtapes, Ranked

For most of the 21st century, you could argue that Lil Wayne was the best rapper on the planet without sounding as insane as he usually did. A Cash Money Records foot soldier in his teens, the New Orleans native slowly morphed from an underground sensation into an unlikely pop superstar best known for 2008’s Tha… » 7/09/15 3:12pm 7/09/15 3:12pm

21 Session IPAs, Ranked

Craft-beer enthusiasts like to argue, complain, and explain. I wonder if there’s any demographic commonality behind this exhausting pattern of behavior. Someone should look into whether perhaps a lot of them have graduate degrees, alcohol problems, and pale-colored penises, for instance. Or maybe they all like lasagna… » 7/08/15 1:29pm 7/08/15 1:29pm

Movies About Male Strippers, Ranked

If there’s one thing that makes me sad for heterosexual men, it’s that so many of them haven’t seen Magic Mike. They assumed they’d be in for nonstop tight close-ups of Spandex-packaged junk, exposure to unrealistically chiseled and waxed male bodies, and barely plotted sexploitation aimed at the gaze of those who are… » 7/07/15 4:45pm 7/07/15 4:45pm

Father's Day Gifts, Ranked

Hey, Father’s Day is on Sunday! Wait, you are saying, suddenly even more sweaty, confused, and anachronistic than usual—aren’t we in April? Aren’t we in April of 2013? No, we are not in April of 2013. We are in June of ... [fumbles with phone for five embarrassing minutes] oh, wow, 2015! that’s bananas! ... and… » 6/19/15 11:18am 6/19/15 11:18am

12 IPAs For People Who Hate IPAs

As we all know, stouts are the best beers. But with temperatures rising, you may find that your local breweries have fewer on tap, your local liquor stores have fewer in stock, and your loved ones may look at you a little funny when, after mowing the lawn in triple-digit temperatures, you try to cool yourself down by… » 6/09/15 5:25pm 6/09/15 5:25pm

Some Simpsons Characters Voiced By Harry Shearer, Ranked

The Simpsons has been a lousy, vaguely depressing hood ornament for FOX for far longer, by now, than it ever was a good TV show, but when it was a good TV show, it was among the greatest television comedies ever made. Harry Shearer, the brilliant comedic and voice actor who announced his departure from the show » 5/14/15 1:37pm 5/14/15 1:37pm

Sounds On My Newborn Son’s Sleep-Therapy Machine, Ranked

My wife recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy that we named Ellis. He is a prodigious eater and likes a warm bath. (We have experimented both with a white foam tub and a mesh blue one that resembles a patio chair. I prefer the latter on all counts with the exception of its aquatic-themed design, which is insulting… » 5/05/15 11:28am 5/05/15 11:28am

Watermelon-Eating Techniques Of Large Animals, Ranked

Feeding whole watermelons to large animals and uploading the resulting videos to YouTube is a thing that people do, and it is one of the best uses of the internet. It’s pretty exciting to watch these beasts lay waste to a 10-pound piece of fruit like it’s a grape or something. So here are some videos of large animals… » 4/30/15 5:30pm 4/30/15 5:30pm

Bayern Munich's 6 Goals Against Porto Today, Ranked

Bayern Munich had their backs against the wall. Down 3-1 to Porto after the first leg and short most of their best players due to injury, rather than folding under the pressure, Bayern kicked the shit out of their opponents 6-1, including a 5-0 lead at halftime. Here are all six goals, ranked by a top-secret… » 4/21/15 6:19pm 4/21/15 6:19pm

16 American Stouts, Ranked

Last Friday afternoon, I had the nerve to step away from my desk for as long as it takes to microwave a Hot Pocket and contemplate my sins, and Deadspin took advantage of those three unchaperoned minutes to damn near burn the place to the ground by running a piece with the title "Stouts Are The Best Beers." This was… » 3/17/15 12:59pm 3/17/15 12:59pm

Train Horns That Keep Me And My Wife Awake At Night, Ranked

My wife and I recently moved to a house in the Dunbar/Spring neighborhood of Tucson, Ariz. Because we had never visited the house in the middle of the night, we didn't realize quite how loud the freight-train horns were. We have adjusted, in part with the help of earplugs. (To spoil another potential list, let me… » 2/16/15 12:49pm 2/16/15 12:49pm