Two Reasons That Explain Why We're All Obsessed with Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones comes back to television in just a few weeks, and already we're feeling the imperative: All Men (And Women) Must Freak Out. But why is Game of Thrones such a huge cultural phenomenon, among all other fantasy series? It comes down to two huge cultural trends, that are rooted in our widespread anxieties… » 3/18/14 7:34pm 3/18/14 7:34pm

​What We Learned from the Script for Gotham's First Episode

Gotham is one of this fall's most anticipated new TV shows: the story of Jim Gordon and Gotham City, years before Batman. We obtained what appears to be a draft of the first episode, although it could be fake or draft that will change a lot before filming. If the script is for real, then Gotham has some terrific… » 2/25/14 5:02pm 2/25/14 5:02pm

There Are Good Reasons Against Unretiring Retired Numbers. Here's Mine

This is a pre-emptive warning to my alma mater: Don't you ever fucking put No. 44 on any men's basketball player, for any reason, ever. I'm saying this because I know the thought will cross your mind and some point in the future, but I am ordering you: Do not fucking do this. » 9/08/13 9:36am 9/08/13 9:36am

"And That One Guy From Season 4 Is You Choking Yourself To Death"

By now you're well and regrettably familiar with the Simmons/Grantland signature move, which is to liken a sport or its participants (NFL coaches, say) to a well-known pop culture artifact (Entourage, say) in a way which offers insight or comment on neither of them. To the extent that there ever really was any … » 8/09/13 2:16pm 8/09/13 2:16pm

Quit Fucking Asking Me Questions: A Refresher Course

When it comes to being a woman on the internet, there are enough frustrating roadblocks every day to make your brain liquefy and dribble out your ear all gross (more frustrating roadblocks than there are fireplaces at Rosings Park, AMIRITE). But possibly the most frustrating of all are the gnashing hordes constantly… » 6/12/13 1:30pm 6/12/13 1:30pm

Fuck Your Delicate Sensibilities, I'm Going to Swear as Much as I Want

I swear a lot. In writing, if not so much in speech (but, fuck it, also a lot of times in speech). Swearing is awesome, because it adds a little extra punch to your sentence that lets people know you mean business! Or, at least, I guess that's how most people characterize the function of swearing. Personally, I don't… » 5/15/13 5:19pm 5/15/13 5:19pm

Christmas Hype Will Drive Your Children To Insanity

Christmas is four days away. I know this because my kids have been counting down the days since, I dunno, LAST goddamn Christmas. Children have boring lives. They have to go to school all day. They have to listen to adults tell them what to do. They can't watch porn. It blows. Christmas is one of the few bright spots… » 12/21/11 10:00am 12/21/11 10:00am

Naked Children In Public: A Deadspin Special Investigation

The night before I got married, my parents hosted a rehearsal dinner at a restaurant in DC. They rented out one of the side rooms for the dinner, and the event room had its own set of bathrooms separate from the restaurant's main pissers. So before the dinner, my dad went into the men's room and placed, by the sink, a… » 7/07/11 12:45pm 7/07/11 12:45pm

The Heat Wax The East, And Deep Down We Love It

Last night, the Miami Heat ended the Eastern Conference Finals with a 19-4 run in under four minutes to beat the Chicago Bulls in five games. If you were fortunate or unfortunate enough — I haven't decided which it is for me — to have watched the entire game, then you would have witnessed equal parts masterful… » 5/27/11 5:15pm 5/27/11 5:15pm

Verizon Wireless Store Employees Are The Devil’s Afterbirth

Yesterday I had to go to a Verizon Wireless store to get the numbers from my old phone transferred over to a phone I had just purchased. (Not an iPhone. Fuck you for owning one, Mr. I Can Afford A Data Plan.) And after 15 minutes in that fucking store, I can now say, without hyperbole, that Verizon Wireless store… » 2/24/11 3:00pm 2/24/11 3:00pm