Even if Howard is passing out birthday party invites right as his team is about to be eliminated, and generally playing poorly in the playoffs, we're not sure what weed has to do with it.

But that's all just a (not really) high-minded way to justify this gambling opportunity to bet on which NBA player will admit to weed use next. The favorite, perhaps not surprisingly, is Rasheed Wallace. But there's no worse bet than LeBron James at 40-1. Not a chance.

Sports Gambling Just Got Insanely Awesome [FanIQ]

• Look at me, look at me! Chris Bosh really wants to be an All-Star, and since he couldn't earn a starting role through hilarity, he's trying to take a reserve spot by brute force. To that end, Howard beat on the Wizards like a side of raw beef on his way to 37 points, 12 rebounds, and 3 steals. However, fellow attention whore Antawn Jamison was all like, "Uh, excuse me, I'm All-Star quality too." 'Tawn tossed in 24 points and hauled in 20 [!!] rebounds as the Wizards scored a 108-104 overtime win over the Raptors. Jose Calderon, the "other" All-Star hopeful in Toronto, contributed 23 points and 13 assists, while Andray Blatche impersonated Caron Butler (who's out with something that sounds kind of painful) by scoring 19 points and nabbing 8 boards.

• I've got your Big Three right here, bitches. With Kevin Garnett (sore tummy muscle) and Ray Allen (flu-like symptoms) out of action, Leon Powe, Tony Allen, and Rajon Rondo transformed into the new new Big Three. Powe paced the Celtics with a cool 25 points and 11 boards, Allen had 20 points and 6 assists, and Rondo added 23 points on 8-for-10 shooting as Boston helped Miami start a brand new losing streak by delivering a brutal 117-87 beating. The Heat were led by Mark Bount's 20 points. Yes, Mark Blount was Miami's best player. By far. Meanwhile, Dwyane Wade's 1-for-9 shooting performance sure looked like a desperate cry for help. Either that or for a swift and merciful death.

• NBA action...it's yawn-tastic. Bulls! Timberwolves! It really was scalper's night off in Chicago. Al Jefferson didn't set another career high in scoring, so, not surprisingly, the Bulls trampled over the Timberwolves 96-85. Jefferson still put in 20 and 12, but nobody in blue and green had his back (shame on you, Antoine Walker!). The Bulls are missing four players - Luol Deng, Ben Gordon, Joe Smith, and Chris Duhon - but they were carried by the suddenly unstoppable Kirk Hinrich (27 points, 6 assists) Joakim "The Renegade Rookie" Noah (10 points, 13 rebounds).

• Let the bidding begin. Jason Kidd wants out of New Jersey - he thinks the logo makes him look fat - so he showed potential buyers what they'd be getting by scoring seven points in the final 1:42 to help the Nets break their nine-game skid with an 87-80 win over the Bucks. Kidd had 11 assists, too. But let the buyer beware: this former member of the Fun Police is currently shooting 36 percent from the field, which is 45th among NBA point guards.

• More monster mashing. If the Golden State/Houston game was a foreign horror movie from the 1950s, Yao Ming would have played the part of giant lizard monster and the Warriors would have been the city it stomped all over. Yao belched forth great flame (36 points) and hurled boulders (19 rebounds) while Golden State's front court players ran around screaming in subtitles. Man, it's a good thing the Warriors signed a big man who can't run or play defense! P.S. Tracy McGrady missed the game with flu-like symptoms. Just like Ray Allen. Hmm...I wonder...

• They chose...poorly. Remember in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade how when the bad guy drank out of the wrong Holy Grail, he aged a thousand years in a few seconds and exploded into a cloud of dust? Well, that's what's happening to the Spurs right now. Tony Parker missed the game with a fake injury, leaving Tim Duncan (27 points, 12 rebounds) and Manu Ginobili (29 points, 7 flops) to carry their mummified teammates. Unfortunately, Tim Duncan left his potion of levitation next to his wizard's cloak and 20-sided dice. And the whole 2-on-12 thing helped the Sonics end their 14-game winning streak with an 88-85 win. Kevin Durant scored 19 points and Chris Wilcox added 16 points and 10 boards for Seattle.

• The cure for what ails them. When a team is struggling the way the Lakers have been, there are only two things they want to see on their upcoming schedule: "Happy ending massage" and "New York Knicks." Man, this one has "bounce back game" written all over it. So You know what? I'm just going to assume that Kobe Bryant scores a lot of points and the Lakers win this one.

By most yardsticks, I am kind of a fuck-up. I'm almost 30 and have only had one full-time job; I got fired after six months for taking long lunches and refusing to obey direct orders. I have a Master's, but wasn't disciplined enough to bother with a PhD. And while I've more or less supported myself through writing, you probably won't see my byline in the Times anytime soon. Yet despite my unimpressive resume and shoddy life-choices, it's been a while I've thought of myself as "immature."

According to the dictionary, biological maturity strikes between the ages of 14 and 16. American society holds that we come of age around 21, while my esteemed ethnic tradition says I've been an adult since 13. So while I don't doubt that people change with age, at some point they lose the right to plead—or be chastised with—the immortal spirit of learning, growing, caring and sharing. That's when "immaturity" reaches its deadline and becomes "flawed."

This fall, a certain kind of reporter shuddered when Amare Stoudemire and Stephen Jackson were named captains of the Suns and Warriors, respectively. On the surface, both men's capo status sizzled with irony: These were players with a history of questionable behavior and shaky attitude. If you Google "Amare Stoudemire + immature," you'll be faced with 2,070 results. Do the same for "Stephen Jackson + immature," and you'll get 2,400. In Jack McCallum's awesome "Seven Seconds or Less," Amare comes across as either a well-meaning slacker and a naive egomaniac. Jackson's antics truly need no introduction: He was the real firestarter in the Auburn Hills brawl, unabashedly reps his gang roots, and is not above firing shots over another man's moving vehicle.

However, there's an important distinction here. While Stoudemire's about to turn 25, Jackson's my age. His reign of terror began when he was almost 27 and continues to this day. One can rightfully be called "immature," while the other is just a dude with problems, who won't likely be free of them unless he freaks out and turns to the Deity. This honor could very well help along Amare's personal development. With Jackson, the Warriors are selling their soul to the devil, and I mean that in the best possible sense.

Exhibit A: Amare has shown signs of getting older and wiser—if the ability to mature isn't a sign of immaturity, I don't know what is. Since his comeback, Stoudemire has put in some serious work on his game, becoming a smarter, more responsible player. He's dealt well with going from unquestioned number one option to part of a more balanced attack. And off the court, Stoudemire enrolled in classes at Arizona State to start working toward a college degree. All this with both his mother and half-brother—pretty much the only family Amare had left—embroiled in serious legal trouble.

Stoudemire might not be completely well-adjusted or virtuous, but he's shown a capacity to change for the better. Ironically, that's why it makes sense to call him "immature." Jackson, on the other hand, spent his first few years of pro basketball toiling away in the CBA and overseas. And while it's often forgotten now, Crazy Eyes was once a member of the Spurs in good standing; he was a model teammate who deserves a lot of credit for their 2003 ring. Then, the darkness set in. Perhaps emboldened by some measure of NBA security, in Indiana the Stephen Jackson of myth and symbol became known to us all.

I happen to find Jackson fascinating, especially as he fits into the Golden State cosmology. But I'm not about to make apologies for him: At best, he's regressed emotionally and psychologically since leaving the Spurs, which is a really odd thing to say about an adult. The rhetoric of "immaturity" is unintentionally optimistic, but it's also condescending and possibly racist; let's just agree that Jackson is complex disaster of a human being and stop wondering if he'll come around.

Jackson is a special case, in that he's got a distinguished record of causing bedlam off the court. I don't know the real Stephen Jackson, but I've got a pretty good sense for how his (ahem) professional and personal lives fit together. There's nothing more galling, though, than hearing a player labeled "immature" for reasons that pertain solely to in-game conduct. Here, "immature" isn't just a misnomer, it's being thrown around with insufficient evidence.

The classic example of this is Rasheed Wallace, whose sole sin is his desire to vent, often and always. Sheed's never been a cancer or chemistry-wrecker—in fact, if anything he could stand to be more selfish—and he's widely respected in the locker room and around the league. On top of that, Wallace is a low-key family man who, unfathomably, seems to enjoy smoking pot. But try telling that to John Hollinger, who last month said of him "Youth is fleeting, but immaturity can last a lifetime."

When I think of all the shit Sheed gets, I think about the thousands of upstanding family men who occasionally lose control in their weekend game. Sports are pretty much guaranteed to make people emotional and heated; you could argue that one's true, sordid self comes out in athletic competition, but if that's the case, it's still under wraps most of the time. That's like saying that Freud wanted us to run around screwing our parents.

Freud's grandson Lucien once told me the following: "I paint people not because of what they are like, not exactly in spite of what they are like, but how they happen to be." The truly immature—whether in sports, or down here on the ground with us—are products of how they happen to be. However, the Stephen Jacksons of this planet need to be seen, embraced, or rejected for who they are. You don't tell sharks to grow up, or ask Sir Elton to just get over it. Maybe there's less of a belittling zip to this, but it's more in line with how we consumers actually relate to these folks. And then, just maybe, we'll also learn the difference between a bad guy and one who plays one on the court in spite of himself.

Asked after Game 2 what the Pistons did to crush the Cavs in the 3rd quarter, Rasheed said this:

Just played a little bit harder. That first half we played somewhat hard, but that second half, the first five, six minutes in that third quarter we came out and had to play hard. They were up 12. We couldn't let that get any higher. We couldn't let that move to 18 or 20 and so on. It's like, hey, we've got to go out there the first five minutes, take what they give us and just be aggressive.

So, depending on how much effort the Pistons feel like giving, after tonight, the series will be as close as it can possibly be, or a 3-0 formality. And in the links below, a bunch of LeBron stuff ... none of which has anything to do with his on-court play.

LeBron James "Throws" The Ball at a Woman [Full Court]
Sweeping Under The Rug [Full Court]
LeBron Does The Powerade Commercial...For Real [Winning the Turnover Battle]
Rasheed Wallace Interview [InsideHoops.com]

So we know we just wrote about this in the NBA roundup, and that you've probably seen it on "SportsCenter" or somewhere else already, but, frankly, we just want to have it on our site: Here's Rasheed Wallace's batshit crazy 60-footer last night.

Our favorite part is the crowd. The broadcaster says the crowd is "electric," but it doesn't quite seem that way to us: They sound like they would sound if suddenly their kitten grew wings.

I Have The Need For Sheed [Gheorghe The Blog]
Sheed Turns The Impossible Into A Pistons Win [Need4Sheed]

• Sheedtastic. We could go on and on about Rasheed Wallace's 60-footer that sent the Pistons to overtime against the Nuggets on Monday, where Detroit eventually won, 113-109. But the blog Need4Sheed was actually at the game ... so take it, Need4Sheed. "I was actually right about to walk out of the game when the pass was stolen and Sheed knocked down the shot. I literally almost fell flat on my face. Denver Coach George Karl was not happy with Rasheed's shot. He said he wouldn't comment on a lucky shot. He also said that it was pure luck and if you gave him 100 of those shots he wouldn't make one. George, If you think Sheed can't hit that shot, you are mistaken. He practices those every day. I think you need to watch this video and then apologize." Chauncey Billups led the Pistons with a season-high 34 points and 10 assists, Wallace scored 22 points.

• That's How Shaq Rolls. Meanwhile, Shaquille O'Neal did a backward somersault, pronounced himself "The Big Baryshnikov,'' and disappeared into the parking lot. It all happened after his 22 points led Miami over Atlanta 106-89. Shaq passed Reggie Miller for 12th on the NBA's career scoring list and put the Heat in first place in the Southeast Division by a half-game, and third in the Eastern Conference.

• It's Carlos Boozer Time. Carlos Boozer scored a career-high 41 points and 16 rebounds to help the Jazz beat the Wizards 103-97. The last Jazz player to score 41 points was Karl Malone on Dec. 20, 2000 against Philadelphia. Gilbert Arenas scored 32 points for the Wizards; 26 in the second half.

• Those Spurs Will Sneak Up On You. If defense and the ability to win on the road count for anything, look for San Antonio to make a serious playoff run. Tony Parker scored 20 points and nine assists and Michael Finley had 20 points as the Spurs beat Golden State 126-89. San Antonio has won 17 of its past 19, and nine of 10 road games.

You might expect Rasheed to be upset about the suspension, or to raise hell about the rule, or to say or do something inflammatory. Nope.

"It don't matter to me," Wallace said of the fine he'll draw. "They think suspending me one game, I'm losing all this money and this and that. Money ain't nothing to me for the simple fact I wasn't born with it. Just as fast as you get money, you can lose money. Money's not going to change my character, money's not going to change the person I am."

"We're still going to go out there and play Pistons basketball," he said. "We still got guys who can play. I ain't worried about [missing the game]."

He knows he can't play now, right? A suspension means you're forced to sit out one game. You're aware of this, Rasheed? Is this not troublesome to you? I guess I don't have a choice but to admire his brazen lack of respect for damn near anything.

Some dogs, you can yell at, and they'll change their behavior. Others, you have to whack them in the head with a newspaper. With Rasheed Wallace ... I don't know what David Stern has left. He may have to start equipping officials with cattle prods, and given them orders to zap Rasheed when he starts talking.

Wallace earns 16th technical of season, one-game suspension [ESPN]

And as I regift this video from Need4Sheed to you, I'm signing off for the day. Happy Holidays, thanks for joining me today, and enjoy the rest of the guest editors until Will gets back.

Jingle Bells: From Rasheed and Company [Need4Sheed]

Ah, Sheed: As you'd probably expect, this new rule is going to require major changes to Rasheed's game, most notably the sudden need to wrap the entire bottom half of his head in duct tape. It's a new world out there for the guy.

And it's just not right, says Need4Sheed, which has started a petition to save Rasheed's game and get rid of the new rule. We'll confess, we like the new rule — it's pretty difficult to find a fan who isn't exasperated by the constant on-court bitching and whining — but we think maybe applying it unilaterally to Rasheed is just mean, bordering on perverse. We wouldn't ask Jason Kidd to stop blowing a kiss to his kid at the free-throw line, would we? (Though now that we mention it ...) The rule denies Rasheed his very nature; man, at his core, desires to be free, and he is now shackled ... broken. Free Sheed!

Save Sheed And NBA Petition [Need4Sheed]

If you're one of those cynical souls who doesn't take Rasheed Wallace's word as gospel, we should be in for quite an intriguing evening of basketball. In the first game, we get to find out if this will be a forgettable early chapter in LeBron James' playoff career or if becomes something unique, special and potentially mind-blowing. (We're betting on "forgettable.")

In the second game, Mark Cuban will attempt to keep his billion-dollar penis in his fancy pants as the Mavericks attempt to put one more nail in the Spurs burial device. (By the way, if Cuban and coach Avery Johnson ever got in a screaming fight, do you think it would sound like a record sped up too fast?)

It's two huge playoff games, Charles Barkley doing something out-RAGEOUS! and that goofy looking Cavaliers coach. What more could one want?

Guaransheed [Noobsports]

(Getty Images photo)

As for "Family Guy," on the whole, we're torn. It seems like the television show equivalent of a bad blog to us; just a bunch of cultural references without much heart. That said, we admit, we think the dog is pretty funny; we wish we had a dog that drank martinis too.

By the way, we're eagerly awaiting for the inevitable Darko appearance on "Arrested Development." He's kind of the NBA equivalent of Buster, we think.

Rasheed Wallace's Guest Appearance On Family Guy [Need4Sheed]

To that end, we present you a tale from "Danny From NC," who was on the Chapel Hill campus back when Rasheed Wallace was plying his trade:

Franklin Street in Chapel Hill is home to one of the larger collegiate Halloween parties in the country. Thousands and thousands of people get dressed/boozed up and basically just walk around all night. Packed bars, lots of fights, lots of random terribleness.

One year, it had to be in 1994, months before the Tar Heels go to the Final Four, three friends and I are walking down Franklin Street near Woody's Tavern on Halloween (we're all dressed up like bums). Rasheed Wallace, about to graduate ("graduate" = "complete sophomore year"), is posted up on the side of a building by himself — leaning back against the wall, one leg bent. Probably waiting for someone ... you know, just chillin'.

Needless to say, we love us some 'Sheed.

My drunk suite-mate, about to experience the moment that would define the remainder of his existence, goes up to Wallace in awe and says, "that is the BEST Rasheed Wallace costume I've EVER seen." 'Sheed looks down at him for a second, looks back up, looks back down and goes, "Psssssssshhhhhh."

God bless that man.

We forget sometimes that 'Sheed went to college, honestly. It seems like he was born directly into the NBA, screaming about a call and holding an inexplicable championship belt.

Athlete Run-Ins: Smokin' John Elway [Deadspin]

(Not to be ingrates, but we remind you that we're always taking athlete run-in stories at tips@deadspin.com.)