Morris, if you don't know, wrote the blog post which intimated that Raul Ibanez's incredible production so far this season could be artificially enhanced. Ibanez did everything expected of a man wrongly accused, even offering to open a vein or poop in a cup, to prove that his lofty numbers through June are legit.

The OTL segment yesterday afternoon trotted out the blogger in question (Morris), Philly Inquirer columnist John Gonzalez, and baseball reporter Ken Rosenthal for a little on-air tryptich window debate about the expanding roles of media and a sports blogger's place in this dynamic hierarchy, and the outcome was predictable: Morris was made the reckless fool, Gonzalez the literal and figurative middleman, and Rosenthal played the Bill Donahue role of Captain Angry Pants.

And based on the explosive reactions from bloggers and mainstream media alike after this brief segment, it appears it's The Summer Of Buzz all over again. Actually, it's not, so everybody calm down.

First: Did anyone actually read Morris' post? It was far from accusatory or gossipy in its hypothetical rundown of Ibanez's power surge. It was a blog post — a wonky, fantasy baseball-centric breakdown with an added personal flourish by including an email quote from one of his buddy's dashed-off observations that ended with "I thought they were testing?" And Morris, God bless him, took it upon himself to disprove his friend's theory by trotting out all sorts of career splits, stadium breakdowns, lunar calendar power output, etc. to see if there was any reason to believe the barroom speculation about Ibanez juicing. You know, just for fun, because that's what this is supposed to be most of the time. Of course it was inconclusive because, well, HOW COULD HE POSSIBLY KNOW IF IBANEZ IS ON STEROIDS BY TRACKING STATISTICS. Look at this ridiculously long list of mediocrity and start tracking their stats. Tell me what you come up with.

Second: John Gonzalez's initial column was not as mean-and-nasty as everyone thinks it is. In fact, Gonzalez is one of the good guys in this equation because he actually reads blogs and was simply shining on a light on the new media landscape we live in and how these things can turn into bigger deals (ahem) if they're not approached carefully. He was right. (Full disclosure: he's a buddy of mine, I called him for an explanation, and to be honest he seems very, very annoyed by how out of control this thing has become. Because he's Mexican.)

Plus, Gonzalez wasn't the person who decided to ask Ibanez in the locker room about what he thinks of the Midwest Sports Fan's "accusations." Yeah, that was Inquirer beat reporter Jim Salisbury. He should do a follow-up story tonight, bedpan in hand, to take Ibanez up on his offer.

Third: Ken Rosenthal doesn't have a fucking clue. Not in life, or in his baseball knowledge, but in the execution of his whole pointless attack, going borderline Albom-esque ("I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS!") on poor Jerod over a perfectly reasonable post that didn't deserve to get the national lambasting it did. Partially this is ESPN's fault for orchestrating this whole segment as some sort of poor man's "Costas Now," hoping they could re-open this tired debate again to confuse all the old, out of work people flipping through the channels yesterday afternoon. What is this scary thing you call "blog"?

Fourth: Jerod Morris has to go outside. Seriously, son, you're making us all look bad if you don't spray tan yourself before you go on national television to get yelled at. Learn from the professionals about how to best prepare for these definitive media moments.

Fifth: Everybody stop talking and typing about this immediately.

As you were.

So Raul — Mr. Ibanez -do you feel like your career year is being unfairly scrutinized by the media because of the PED era?

"Unfortunately, I understand the environment we're in and the events that have led us to this era of speculation,"

Yeah, it's unfair. It's, like, you see a guy with a nice car one day even though he had a crappy car the day before you begin to think, 'Hey, how'd he manage to afford to buy a brand new car in one day?' He probably stole it, right?

"At the same time, you can't just walk down the street and accuse somebody of being a thief because they didn't have a nice car yesterday and they do today. You can't say that guy is a thief."

Well, I would, but that's just me. I have little faith in humanity. Or pets. If I had a dog, I wouldn't trust that either. I'm dead inside. Anyway, would you ever let me drink your pee just to be sure?

"You can have my urine, my hair, my blood, my stool - anything you can test. I'll give you back every dime I've ever made if the test is positive"

Well, that would require me to purchase a very expensive blender to make that concoction, but I appreciate the offer. Who do you think is coming up with these wild accusations? And would you put your supposed cleanliness up against, oh, I don't know some of my media colleagues $35k per job to prove your innocence?

"I'll put that up against the jobs of anyone who writes this stuff. Make them accountable..."

Yes, I agree with that and I'm sorry some of it has...

"There should be more credibility than some 42-year-old blogger typing in his mother's basement. It demeans everything you've done with one stroke of the pen."

Hey, hey, hey...now just wait a minute there, Raul. I have never EVER used a pen. Now take that back or I'm walking out of this interview...

"It's unfair because this story should be about how hard work, determination, and desire trumps chemicals and shortcuts."

Right. What about desire, character, and work ethic? Huh? You don't have to use a pen to be successful.

"That should be the message: desire, character, work ethic"

Yeah, I agree. Anyone who decides otherwise is just a coward and should be held accountable for their pen accusations. It's not fair.

"But some guy who doesn't know me - one idiot - says something like this. They should be held accountable. It's cowardly."

Now you're speaking my language! I always wanted to ask you, by the way, is your family related to the Ibanez guitar company at all? Can you get Joe Satriani tickets anytime you want. Raul?

I'm Clean, Angry Ibanez Says [Philly.com]

The Mariners are auctioning off life-sized — bigger than life-sized, actually — bobblehead dolls of Ibanez, Kenji Johjima, Felix Hernandez and Ichiro Suzuki. Bidding begins at $2,500 on the Mariners' home page.

Just for the sake of discussion — and to help you with your decision whether or not to buy — if you were to purchase a Real Doll, it could cost you $6,500. So this thing could pay for itself!

Supersized Mariners Bobbleheads [Home Run Derby]
Real Doll [Official Site] (NSFW)

(By the way ... commence "they need a Rick Ankiel lifesize bobblehead for Leitch ... NOW.)