Zinedine Zidane No Longer Has To Pretend Not To Coach Team He Coaches

A couple months ago, we told you about how Zinedine Zidane, manager of Real Madrid Castilla, was under investigation for not having the proper coaching qualifications. The Frenchman had two ways to fight the impending punishment: either cadge up the qualifications or deny that he was actually the manager. Lo and… » 11/21/14 1:30pm 11/21/14 1:30pm

Xabi Alonso Forced To Apologize To Ronaldo For Stupid, Fake Controversy

Remember that dumb story Real Madrid pitched to their stooges at Marca yesterday, where some milquetoast statements of Xabi Alonso's were folded, kneaded, and ultimately transformed into direct insults to former teammates Cristiano Ronaldo and Iker Casillas? Well, it worked. » 11/21/14 11:45am 11/21/14 11:45am

Meet Marca, The Hilarious Propaganda Arm Of Real Madrid

It's maybe a little difficult for Americans to grasp just how deeply and blatantly in the tank the European press can be for the local XI. And no one is deeper and more blatantly in the tank for the local XI than the media in Spain, where the local XI means either Barcelona and Real Madrid and where the address of the… » 11/20/14 1:59pm 11/20/14 1:59pm

The Brits Are Tearing Shit Up In Madrid

It's comforting to know Americans aren't the only ones known for loud and obnoxious behavior when abroad. Our cousins over in England are similarly famous for heading over to mainland Europe and bringing the ruckus. Hence these British fans in Madrid ahead of today's Liverpool-Real Madrid match, and their beer-fueled,… » 11/04/14 2:06pm 11/04/14 2:06pm

Fanboy Government Agents Illegally Spied On Costa Rican World Cup Hero

Keylor Navas was the best player on a Costa Rica team that exceeded all expectations in this summer's World Cup. Because of the goalkeeper's heroics, neutrals fell in love with him, Real Madrid fell in love with him, and Costa Ricans especially fell in love with him—a little too much, it turns out. » 10/30/14 3:39pm 10/30/14 3:39pm

The Assassination Of Iker Casillas By The Coward José Mourinho

Real Madrid handily beat Barcelona this weekend, with adulation bestowed upon many of the individual victors for their performance. Isco proved his grit and talent in fighting for a spot on a team lousy with great attacking midfielders and excelling when given the chance. James Rodríguez showed why he was made the… » 10/29/14 2:22pm 10/29/14 2:22pm

Today, El Clásico Is The Only Thing That Matters

For as world-stoppingly important as it feels every time Real Madrid and Barcelona take the pitch against one another, we've actually become a bit inured to them over the years. If it seems like there are about eight El Clásicos every season nowadays, it's because there pretty much are: in the past four years, the two… » 10/25/14 10:43am 10/25/14 10:43am

Cristiano Ronaldo Likens Ugly Tackle To Rugby; Rugby World Turns Stupid

Cristiano Ronaldo was none too happy about his early exit from last week's Champions League match between Real Madrid and Ludogorets, necessitated by this late challenge in the final minutes. After the game, the winger described the tackle thus: "It was a very ugly tackle and it seemed as if we were playing a game of… » 10/06/14 6:18pm 10/06/14 6:18pm

James Rodríguez Opens La Liga Account With Beautifully Struck Goal

Real Madrid president Florentino Pérez may not have any understanding of soccer tactics, but he does know flash when he sees it, and Colombian World Cup standout James Rodríguez is certainly flashy. With Madrid up 1-0 in today's game against Deportivo La Coruña, Rodríguez took a pass from Karim Benzema at the top of… » 9/20/14 11:32am 9/20/14 11:32am

Real Madrid President: I'm Stupid, Not Crooked

It's maybe a little disconcerting when the president of the richest club in the world—the brains behind all significant player transfers coming in and out, a man so determined to fulfill his dream of a star-studded lineup that he'll jettison the one player that makes his team work in favor of a bigger name that… » 9/19/14 12:13pm 9/19/14 12:13pm

Zinedine Zidane Pretends He Doesn't Manage Team He Obviously Manages

Real Madrid have been fast tracking club legend Zinedine Zidane to the manager's chair for a while now. He's gone from first team assistant to reserve team head coach in just over a year. Thing is, Zidane did not have the right qualifications for the latter position and now faces sanctions. Real Madrid's defense has… » 9/18/14 3:26pm 9/18/14 3:26pm

Atlético Madrid Prove La Liga Is Still A Three-Team Title Fight

Heading into the weekend, the seventh Madrid derby of 2014 was the biggest match on the slate, just like it was the best match of the preseason during the Spanish Supercup, and just like it was the biggest match in the entire sport during the Champions League final a few months earlier. This one didn't quite match… » 9/15/14 2:50pm 9/15/14 2:50pm

Reporter Claims Xabi Alonso Left Spain Because Of Affair With Singer

Xabi Alonso's departure from Real Madrid was confusing from the beginning. Why would a club leader with an automatic starting spot on the Champions League-winning team up and leave? According to one reporter, the choice was less a vote for Bayern Munich than a chance to save his marriage. » 9/05/14 11:15am 9/05/14 11:15am

A Striker For You! Another For You!: Your Transfer Deadline Day Roundup

Another crazy transfer deadline has came and went, and after a couple tense hours of waiting, it appears most of the biggest moves, like Radamel Falcao to Manchester United, were squeezed under before the curtain fell. Here's a recap of the biggest moves completed yesterday: » 9/02/14 12:45pm 9/02/14 12:45pm