Cristiano Ronaldo Likens Ugly Tackle To Rugby; Rugby World Turns Stupid

Cristiano Ronaldo was none too happy about his early exit from last week's Champions League match between Real Madrid and Ludogorets, necessitated by this late challenge in the final minutes. After the game, the winger described the tackle thus: "It was a very ugly tackle and it seemed as if we were playing a game of… » 10/06/14 6:18pm 10/06/14 6:18pm

James Rodríguez Opens La Liga Account With Beautifully Struck Goal

Real Madrid president Florentino Pérez may not have any understanding of soccer tactics, but he does know flash when he sees it, and Colombian World Cup standout James Rodríguez is certainly flashy. With Madrid up 1-0 in today's game against Deportivo La Coruña, Rodríguez took a pass from Karim Benzema at the top of… » 9/20/14 11:32am 9/20/14 11:32am

Real Madrid President: I'm Stupid, Not Crooked

It's maybe a little disconcerting when the president of the richest club in the world—the brains behind all significant player transfers coming in and out, a man so determined to fulfill his dream of a star-studded lineup that he'll jettison the one player that makes his team work in favor of a bigger name that… » 9/19/14 12:13pm 9/19/14 12:13pm

Zinedine Zidane Pretends He Doesn't Manage Team He Obviously Manages

Real Madrid have been fast tracking club legend Zinedine Zidane to the manager's chair for a while now. He's gone from first team assistant to reserve team head coach in just over a year. Thing is, Zidane did not have the right qualifications for the latter position and now faces sanctions. Real Madrid's defense has… » 9/18/14 3:26pm 9/18/14 3:26pm

Atlético Madrid Prove La Liga Is Still A Three-Team Title Fight

Heading into the weekend, the seventh Madrid derby of 2014 was the biggest match on the slate, just like it was the best match of the preseason during the Spanish Supercup, and just like it was the biggest match in the entire sport during the Champions League final a few months earlier. This one didn't quite match… » 9/15/14 2:50pm 9/15/14 2:50pm

Reporter Claims Xabi Alonso Left Spain Because Of Affair With Singer

Xabi Alonso's departure from Real Madrid was confusing from the beginning. Why would a club leader with an automatic starting spot on the Champions League-winning team up and leave? According to one reporter, the choice was less a vote for Bayern Munich than a chance to save his marriage. » 9/05/14 11:15am 9/05/14 11:15am

A Striker For You! Another For You!: Your Transfer Deadline Day Roundup

Another crazy transfer deadline has came and went, and after a couple tense hours of waiting, it appears most of the biggest moves, like Radamel Falcao to Manchester United, were squeezed under before the curtain fell. Here's a recap of the biggest moves completed yesterday: » 9/02/14 12:45pm 9/02/14 12:45pm

Ain't No Liga Like The One I Got: Your 2014-15 La Liga Preview

Here we are. The La Liga season has just started up, and now we get to watch the league with the world's three best players, its two best teams, and the saddest hodgepodge of patsies since Enter the Dragon. In spite of these financial realities, Spain managed to produce Europe's wildest title race last season, as… » 8/25/14 4:12pm 8/25/14 4:12pm

The Best Fake Soccer In The World Is Played Right Here In The USA

The flashing electronic bulletin board on College Avenue read "SOCCER EVENT." Berkeley Police closed off main roads a mile out from California Memorial Stadium an hour before Real Madrid was to play Inter Milan in a fake soccer game as part of the International Champions Cup, a fake soccer tournament. The atmosphere… » 7/30/14 3:24pm 7/30/14 3:24pm

Real Madrid Might Be Unstoppable

As transfer windows go, this one has quietly been super. In England, Arsenal have done some things, as have Chelsea, and Manchester United are going to maybe buy the entire Dutch national team and Arturo Vidal before September 1. Luis Suárez bit someone, then got shipped to Barcelona to team up with the best player in… » 7/24/14 4:05pm 7/24/14 4:05pm

Real Madrid Win Champions League After Atlético Finally Run Out Of Gas

Atlético Madrid—at least the unrelenting, ever-charging, indefatigable version that has taken Madrid, Spain, Europe, and the entire soccer-loving world by storm this season—outclassed, out-ran, and out-fought Real Madrid en route to a 1-0 Champions League win on Saturday. Unfortunately, that iteration of Atlético only… » 5/26/14 1:57pm 5/26/14 1:57pm

Greatest Ever La Liga Season Gets The Barça-Atlético Final It Deserves

The stage is set. As our search for the rightful champion of La Liga enters its final act, the protagonists make their way to center stage, swaying, stumbling, and trying to keep their feet about them to avoid face-planting into the orchestra pit like the third title aspirant, Real Madrid. The curtains will soon raise… » 5/08/14 1:40pm 5/08/14 1:40pm

Adorable Little Dog Turns Demonic At The Mention Of Barcelona Players

The Real Madrid-FC Barcelona rivalry is one of the greatest in sports, and almost everyone in the world picks a side when the two clubs meet. I know this is the part where I'm supposed to speak some sappy bullshit about how this rivalry seeps through all the way to the Animal Kingdom, and use that as a reason this pup… » 4/25/14 3:17pm 4/25/14 3:17pm