How To Make Apple-Habanero Hot Sauce 

Everyone knows fall is the best time of year, because it’s the peak season for sports, weather, and Muppets. That much is settled science. But did you know that autumn is also the sweetest spot on the Homemade Hot Sauce calendar? If you can manage to look past all the squash, kale, and hippies at your local farmer’s… »10/16/15 10:24am10/16/15 10:24am

Drunk Meals 101: What To Cook When You're Totally Obliterated

Before plying myself with gross quantities of beer or liquor (or both), I like to ensure I’ve lined my belly with sufficient quantities of foodstuff. I’m not sure if it’s true—I got a D- in high school biology, and therefore lack even the most fundamental understanding of metabolic function—but if life experience… »8/05/15 4:47pm8/05/15 4:47pm

How To Make Perlo, The Deep South's Best Take On Chicken And Rice

Here’s the thing about South Carolina: if you drive far enough inland from the ocean, you will run out of fingers on which to count highway billboards threatening you with ultimatums like “Accept Jesus Or Burn In Hell.” Not a whole lot to recommend the place once you get out of earshot of the surf.
»8/01/15 12:46pm8/01/15 12:46pm

How To Cook A Brisket, Which Is Totally Worth The Effort, I Swear

Just once in your life, cook a brisket, over smoky charcoal heat, on the grill. Do it for the solemn pride of having done so, and for the rime of authority it will lend to your future haughty pronouncements on the quality of others’ briskets. Do it because brisket—a massive cut of tough working muscle from the chest… »7/03/15 2:39pm7/03/15 2:39pm

Tip Tester: What’s the Best Way to Marinate Inexpensive Steak?

Glorious as they are, ribeye, porterhouse, and filet steaks aren’t everyday foods for most of us. If you’re looking to get your fill of beef without spending a fortune, it’s worth getting behind some of the less popular, but still-delicious steaks out there. We took a look at a few different marinating techniques so… »6/11/15 9:50pm6/11/15 9:50pm

How to Avoid the Most Common Grilling Mistakes

With barbecue season upon us, it’s time to get proficient with your grill. But just as important as knowing what to do is knowing what not to do. Don’t let your skewers overcook, your burger become bland, or your steaks dry out. Here are some basic tenets to follow to avoid the most common grilling mistakes.
»6/04/15 12:00pm6/04/15 12:00pm

Let's Try Joy Of Cooking's Worst Recipes. First Up: Quick Fish Loaf

I like to eat. Most of you do, too, I’m fairly sure, because I’ve seen you all doing it out at restaurants and in front of, behind, or under food trucks, and I daresay you looked quite pleased with yourselves. But due to the finite geometry of intestines and other guts, as well as the unwelcome but omnipresent… »5/11/15 11:26am5/11/15 11:26am

How To Make A Kick-Ass Sidecar

Wisconsin is the nation’s best drinking state, and not just because it’s the birthplace of both the Schlitz and Ale Asylum breweries. Cheese Curdistan is also the brandy-swillingest place in America; it’s hard to pin down accurate statistics, but each of the half-dozen sources I consulted are certain that Wisconsin… »5/06/15 11:58am5/06/15 11:58am

How To Make Hollandaise Sauce, And Defy The Brunch-Industrial Complex

Hollandaise sauce is the lifeblood of the brunch-industrial complex. You want brunch—which is to say, you want eggs Benedict, the totemic brunchstuff, and maybe like some strawberries or quiche or whatever else goes with brunch? I dunno, I just really want some eggs Benedict, and it’s 11:30 already—but don’t know how… »4/18/15 10:59am4/18/15 10:59am

How To Make An Adequate Rye Old Fashioned

I go on runs with cocktails. I'm like a child who gets a new toy, obsesses over the toy for a full week, and then wants nothing to do with it. I went through a whole summer of drinking greyhounds and throwing up those greyhounds into the bushes. I drank a lot of rum & Diet Cokes when I was trying to drop weight,… »4/08/15 11:17am4/08/15 11:17am

How To Smoke Salmon: Mystical Alchemy From The Majestic West

Pity the poor East Coast rat racer. Look at him, pouring out of the subway with his sooty, bedraggled kin, lurching through ill-lit corridors, past dripping pipes and glaring widows just missing him with the splash of their chamberpots. There he is, spending $12 on a substandard turkey sub. Here he goes, hat brim… »3/27/15 2:16pm3/27/15 2:16pm

How To Cook Some Tasty (For Once!) Cabbage, For St. Patrick's Day

I love St. Patrick's Day. I know it's terribly unfashionable to admit so, but I love it all: I love the wearing of the green, I love the dogs in costume, I love the KISS ME I'M IRISH buttons. Give me a pair of glittered, bobbly shamrocks affixed to a headband and I'm one bonny Irish lass. The green beer? Hell yes.… »3/17/15 1:54pm3/17/15 1:54pm

How To Make Mashed Cauliflower, Because It Goddamn Tastes Great

This article originally appeared on October 12, 2013. I'm republishing it today because I went on an insane cauliflower kick this week, and also for the lesser reason that I couldn't find good ingredients for what I wanted to cook. If you're looking for something especially St. Patrick's Day-ish, put some chopped… »3/14/15 1:11pm3/14/15 1:11pm