As NHL players return to North America—those who aren't claiming asylum to escape the Islanders regime, anyway—they're being set upon by their neglected beat writers, and sharing some strange stories of their sabbaticals. Alex Picard made some new friends in the shower. Ryan Jones was handcuffed and detained at the…

The first thing you notice about the experience of drinking Red Bull Total Zero is the dread: ice-cold, sweaty-palm dread, bone deep, and you're still at least a half-hour away from popping the top and actually swallowing the stuff.

"D.C. United's Charlie Davies is suing the owners of a Washington nightclub and the drink company Red Bull for $20 million, claiming they are responsible for a fatal car crash that ended the MLS player's hopes of joining the 2010 U.S. World Cup team. Davies, now 25, was a passenger in the car driven by a woman who has…

A German footballer gets in trouble for turning his goal celebration into an advertisement for Red Bull. Because advertising should only be done on jerseys, shoes, balls, fields, seats, every available blank space... [The Spoiler]