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How To Dump Someone Tactfully, And Make A Clean Break

Breaking up with someone is one of life’s fondest moments, up there with clasping your sticky, newborn baby to your chest and hearing the first few notes of “Sorry” ring out across the dancefloor. Just kidding, obviously: dumping a person is rotten and no fun at all, which is often why it takes so long for someone who…

The Case For Having A Joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

If you’ve been dreaming of strippers and penis-shaped candy since puberty, clear it with your soon-to-be-spouse (both the specific plans and your marriage priorities) and party on. But allow me to make the case for a combined celebration—yes, a bachelor/bachelorette party wherein the groom and bride and their friends…

How To Care For A Spouse With Early-Onset Alzheimer's

So Julianne Moore won an Oscar last year for her role in Still Alice, playing a woman with early-onset Alzheimer’s. Good for her. I read the book, but I won’t see the movie. First, I hate tearjerkers. Second, my wife Mary is five years younger than Moore, her dementia is much further along, and our lives are not very…

Do Any Couples Actually Have A Celebrity Cheat List?

It’s possible that the idea of a Celebrity Cheat List—five or so famous people that otherwise monogamous couples give a free pass on—predates season 3 episode 5 of Friends, aka The One With Frank Jr., aka the one where Ross meets Isabella Rossellini after opting not to put her on his list. But that’s a strong enough…

I'm Getting Married, And I Don't Know What My Name Will Be

Shortly after I got engaged a coworker told me a story about a friend of his. Or maybe it was a friend of a friend, or a cousin, or an allegory. Point is, there was this lady and she was marrying a man with the same last name as hers. While it’s somewhat common and even encouraged in other cultures, the story was a…

Soccer Player Quits Team After Learning Teammate Was Sleeping With His Wife

The man pictured above is Christian Keller, very recently the captain of Danish first-division club Randers. He and his fellow Horses had to bid adieu to one of their teammates today, after Jonas Borring announced that certain personal events had led him to decide to leave the club. What instigated Borring’s hasty…

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