What I've Learned Returning to the Dating Pool in My 30s

Dating has always been an odd experience. There are rules, but nobody knows them. There are special codes, but nobody has a cipher. Yet, somehow, unless you're in your 20s, things are weirder than they've ever been. » 3/26/15 8:00am Thursday 8:00am

How to Talk To Your New Girlfriend About Your Ex

First and foremost, congratulations on the decision to put your fuck parts together with another person's fuck parts in a more meaningful way than you were putting fuck parts together with others during the abysmal slog through Tinder you've been on since your break-up. Things are probably great: you two have stopped… » 3/25/15 12:40pm Wednesday 12:40pm

How I Lost My 'Invisible Boyfriend' In 6 Days

There's a new app on the market: It's morally questionable, almost entirely useless, and marketed largely towards single women. Naturally, the world is abuzz. » 1/30/15 1:30pm 1/30/15 1:30pm

OKCupid Dude Will Not Be Ignored: 'You Self Involved Princess'

Hot new trend: Dudes on dating sites freaking out at you when you don't immediately respond to their entreaties to hang. (If this were a true trend piece, the title would be something like, "Men: Are They the New Women?") » 9/16/14 12:10pm 9/16/14 12:10pm

Is Online Dating Worth It? An FAQ

You've probably heard of online dating. You may even have a few friends that do it. But, despite your curiosity, you haven't been able to convince yourself to actually try it out. We're here to answer some of your burning questions. » 9/12/14 8:00am 9/12/14 8:00am

Your Open Relationship Is Horseshit

There was a dude on Reddit today who proposed an open relationship with his girlfriend, only to have the whole thing blow up in his face when his girlfriend managed to score vestigial lovers and he couldn't do likewise. Any normal person will tell you that, unless your name is Gene Simmons, open relationships are… » 5/19/14 5:04pm 5/19/14 5:04pm

Heads Up, Men: You Have No Secrets

A secret is something hidden on purpose — but if the "secret" is a fairly universal behavior practiced by lots of people that the average person would find utterly unsurprising ("Cats like string") then, sorry buddy, but that is not a secret to anyone but you. Which kind of makes it not a secret at all, but like a… » 4/10/14 12:30pm 4/10/14 12:30pm

I Tried BroApp and It Did Not Turn Me Into an Awesome Boyfriend

Every day on my way to work, I spend the entire train ride deleting inane press releases from my email inbox. Diet pills? Delete. A series of seminars on how to convince your boyfriend to propose? Delete. The launch of a new cake flavored vodka made especially for tampon soakage? .... Archive. But the other week, one… » 3/05/14 12:58pm 3/05/14 12:58pm

Dudes, Stop Putting Women in the Girlfriendzone

Many an internet whine has been wailed over women who, for some ungodly reason, do not reward the men who are nice to them with sex. It's because girls only do sex with Bad Boys, reason the complainants, and they're always putting Nice Guys in the ~*friendzone*~, a terrible space where these hapless, lovestruck Nice… » 1/24/14 1:00pm 1/24/14 1:00pm

The Uterus Comes With: The Case for Having a Kid to Save a Relationship

The phone vibrates so I pick it up—a text from my younger friend, call him Sherm: Gf left me because I don't want kids. Starting to wonder why I made that decision. Idk. I'm very confused dude. » 1/07/14 1:07pm 1/07/14 1:07pm

What Does It Even Mean to Be a 'Needy' Girl?

Who is 'That Girl' anyway? Is she a sketchy drunk? An insecure mess? An attention whore? One thing is clear, the phrase That Girl is a stigma-laden expression. Whatever you're doing as That Girl, rest assured, you're doing it wrong. But a therapist who listens to women fret about being That Girl thinks maybe That Girl… » 12/04/13 11:50am 12/04/13 11:50am

Levels of Intimacy: When to Burp, Fart & Poop in Front of Your Partner

Recently, we learned via study something we all suspected was true on some level: that the "average woman" waits a good four weeks before allowing a man she fancies to gaze upon her bare, makeup-free face for fear of scarring him with the knowledge that human eyes don't come rimmed in kohl at birth. But this is only… » 10/23/13 4:50pm 10/23/13 4:50pm

How a Women's Libido Pill Could Actually Save Monogamy

Despite the fact that all I want in life is a daemon familiar and a wand and a sarcastic dappled mare who really gets me and violet eyes and a tower, in actuality I'm forever harping on the fact that magic isn't real. There are no magic Spanx that will turn you into Cindy Crawford. There is no magic begoggled top hat… » 5/23/13 3:45pm 5/23/13 3:45pm

If Your Boyfriend Tells You Your Vagina Is Repulsive, BREAK UP WITH HIM

Ugh, relationships, amirite!? All full of "other people" and "other people's bodies" and "other people's stuff touching your body." It's a recipe for Problem City: The Food.* For instance, don't you hate it when somebody finds your vagina repulsive, yet keeps putting his penis in it over and over? I certainly do.… » 5/17/13 5:30pm 5/17/13 5:30pm

Tigers Woods And Lindsey Vonn Are Facebook Official

The high school cafeteria jock table nearly flipped over in pent-up anticipation today, when Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn—sports' 218th-hottest couple—made their relationship Facebook official. » 3/18/13 1:30pm 3/18/13 1:30pm

Andy Murray Plays Video Games, Kim Sears Falls Asleep Unfulfilled

No. 4-ranked tennis player Andy Murray was unceremoniously dumped this weekend by ladyfriend Kim Sears. Apparently his "seven hours a day" video game habit was a factor behind the split. We've obtained an EXCLUSIVE TRANSCRIPT of the pair's final conversation: » 12/05/09 12:00pm 12/05/09 12:00pm

Shawne Merriman Will Not Face Criminal Charges for the Tila Tequila…

A San Diego judge has ruled that no charges will be filed against Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman for allegedly choking and restraining notorious internet trollop Tila Tequila. » 9/12/09 10:35am 9/12/09 10:35am