Not a good idea. Because Majerus (shown here performing an actual abortion) is pro-choice, and he works for a Catholic university. The SLU brass were not amused. Said St. Louis archbishop Raymond Burke:

"I would simply have to insist that it is not possible for a representative of the university to espouse these views which are in open violation of moral law, let alone Catholic teaching."

We're not sure how Majerus is going to be able to spin this; we'd go with the "no, no you misunderstood me; I was just trying to explain the pick-and-roll. What'd you think I was talking about?"

Rick Majerus In Hot Water Over Views On Abortion [Sports By Brooks]

Majerus kept telling [former Utah player Michael] Doleac that he needed to keep six inches between himself and his opponent in the post. When Doleac was caught shortly after leaning on his man, the coach erupted. "'Jesus f###in Christ, Doleac! When a guy catches the ball in the post, you gap him six inches!'" Doleac recalls Majerus yelling. "Then he turns to the guys sitting on the baseline and says, 'Six f###in inches,' and he says, 'the size of the average white dick!' and pulls it out."

With the possible exception of the hotel wrestling scene in Borat, that is the very last thing on Earth I'd ever want to see. But I guarantee you that I'll be gapping my man six inches from now on. I'd suggest you do the same.

(The Nightmare Fuel tag drops dead, is carted off the court on a stretcher).

Rick Majerus Loves Being Naked [Larry Brown Sports]

The Billikens (9-6), playing their first season under Majerus, missed 23 consecutive shots at one point and finished 7-for-48 (14.6 percent) from the field, including 1-for-19 from 3-point range. They trailed 25-7 at halftime.

Then there's this:

The fewest points ever by a Division I team was set by Arkansas State in a 75-6 loss to Kentucky in 1945. It was matched by Temple in an 11-6 loss to Tennessee in 1973.

Being connected with that mighty 1973 Temple team, that's gotta sting. In that '73 game, Temple coach Don Casey spent the majority of the game having two of his players stand 28 feet from the basket, passing the ball back and forth, while Tennessee sat in a 2-3 zone. The Owls held the ball for the final 11:44 of the first half. At one point the Tennessee crowd became so angry at the lack of movement that officials sent police officers to protect the Temple bench.

Now, that's basketball. Stupid shot clock. You've ruined everything.

St. Louis Sets Modern Record For Fewest Points [MSNBC]
Infamy In 17 Points — Flashback: Tennessee 17, Temple 6 [BNet]

This isn't new, but with the upcoming onslaught of ESPN tournament coverage, I thought it might be helpful to revisit some of the masturbatory habits of your favorite ESPN analysts. Majerus likes Ashley Judd, and in the absence of Ashley Judd, likes hotel room porno.

Because I, unlike Lewis Black, have the ability to hear that and not actually picture it happening, I can appreciate the coach's candor. But that has to be as far as it goes. You let Majerus get away with that, and the next thing you know, Dick Vitale's talking about the dipsy-doo dunkaroo he'd like to pull off with a Hooters waitress.

Rick Majerus [YouTube]