Prana is a sort of life force referenced in ancient Hindu texts, so that's not particularly weird on its own. Reiki, acupuncture, or even massage is based on similar principles. But Williams's pranic healer treats him even during games - from his home in Orange County, California. That's right: telepathic treatment.

Ricky will send me a text message saying, for example, to work on his ankle," [Daniel] O'Hara said. O'Hara, in Orange County, Calif., will then "visualize Ricky's ankle as if he's standing in front of me. I visualize him glowing. I make a sweeping motion over my ankle to remove the dirty energy from his ankle that's creating an abnormality and give his body fresh, revitalizing energy.''

"Ricky could be doing anything when I'm doing this — watching TV, sleeping,'' O'Hara said. "It's like a voodoo doll. I know it sounds strange.''

O'Hara said Williams then text messages him indicating how the body part feels. "He says it's a four, and I'll try to get it to a 10. It takes me four minutes with Ricky because he meditates and has positive energy. It could take 25 minutes with somebody else. He's special.''

You laugh, but O'Hara claims Ricky sprained an ankle last month, but his technique healed him completely by the time he got to the sideline. So considering the 7-second delay on live TV, pranic healing not only works a distance, but backwards through time.

Alternative Healing Helps Miami Dolphins' Ricky Williams Stay Fit [Miami Herald]

Lincecum won his second straight Cy Young and became the first pitcher to earn the award in each of his first full seasons. And Ricky Williams took over for an injured Ronnie Brown and ran circles around Carolina, putting up 119 yards and three touchdowns and keeping the Dolphins within reach of the Patriots. As you know, Lincecum and Williams share a taste in mild recreational drugs. In the latter's case we're probably in for a brace of stories about how Ricky has gotten serious and shaved his dreads and redeemed himself and all that. (Look, there goes one now!) For now, though, the lesson is simply this: Winners smoke a shit-ton of weed. Suck it, Bill Bennett.

Honorable Mention: The Baseball Writers' Association of America, which once again got it right with Lincecum, even though his 15 wins represented the smallest total for a Cy Young winner who was a full-time starter in a non-strike year. At this rate, Mauer's MVP is in the bag. We're all statgeeks now. [BBWAA]

Got a candidate for Last Night's Winner? Send it to Dash at dashiell@deadspin.com.

•Three TDs for Ricky Williams? I'd say this is the start of an epic inspirational story in Miami. You know, if the Dolphins weren't 5-5 and going nowhere.

•Keep talking, Mangino. It'll only make things better to say you're giving these kids the parenting their real parents failed at. Maybe, if that parenting includes emotional, verbal and physical abuse, plus eating the entire Thanksgiving dinner before the kids even get a bite.

•Obviously we'll need a few years for perspective, but the Hand of Gaul already places number three on this list of the top ten handballs of all time. Unsurprisingly, Braylon Edwards is nowhere to be found on the list. (Also, it's soccer. I know. Shut up.)

•In more serious soccer news, an English Sunday league player received a yellow card for farting in the referee's face. Had it been another player, he would have gone down like he'd been shot.

•Curtis Granderson is shopping what sounds like the most boring reality show of all time, in which he'd take viewers on tours of stadiums. The "let's explore Comerica Park's outfield" show is a 5-parter.

•Shaq is going to curate an art show. Is there anything the man can't do? Besides play basketball anymore...

•Finally, Georgia's beloved bulldog passed away suddenly at the age of four from heart disease. I'm filing that sentence away in case we need to use it for Baby Mangino.

•••••

Good morning, and TGIFF. Try not to work too hard.

•Two days after ending his holdout, it emerges that Cincy's Andre Smith has a keep-your-weight-down-fatty clause in his contract. Also, he fractured his foot in his first practice. The two things are surprisingly not related.

•In other hilarious injury news, Daunte Culpepper needed stitches on his foot after a freak carpet accident. That's not a sexual euphemism, no matter how erotic it may seem.

•The feds are investigating allegations that the NFLPA held secret talks with the league. Hey, if the inevitable media shitstorm means I'll finally be able to pronounce DeMaurice Smith's first name correctly, then justice will be served.

•Here's your list of top-selling NFL jerseys. Favre at number 1, Vick at number 4, Brady at number8, and Michael Crabtree at number 20. The connection? In a perfect world, none would ever play a snap for their teams.

•Ricky Williams says he'll play two more seasons, then retire. When questioned about this further, Ricky said, "two seasons? I thought you said two seasoned hams."

•And here's Ron Artest covering Celine Dion, proving televised meltdowns are only career-ending if you suck, Stephon Marbury.

Williams is spending his offseason studying at an acupuncture and massage college, conveniently located in a Kendall, Florida, strip mall. It's all part of his larger goal to find spiritual balance through holistic healing. He's studied yoga and meditation in India and is making plans to become an osteopathic doctor after football. Oh, and he's off the dope now so let it go, you jackals!

The main purpose of this New York Times profile is to show that Williams may still be a hippy-dippy man, but that he doesn't have to toke up on the skunk weed to find a little peace. (OK, the Times didn't use the words "skunk weed." That was mine.)

"Since I've become famous for it, I'm amazed at how many people ask me to smoke," Williams said. "For me to move on with my career, this has to be behind me. I don't want to keep being reminded of it on a daily basis."

So Ricky's moved on from the pot, discovering things like Hindu medicine and craniosacral therapy. (Which is no joke, by the way. I've had that done on me and it cleared up a lifetime of sinus problems.) He's a believer in the "healing power of touch" and his dream is to someday be an NFL "shaman" curing players—mind, body, soul—with his beautiful hands. Good for him. I just hope the players he's taking care of don't ask for a little mary jane to the cut the edge off, man.

Ricky Williams Is Hoping to Heal Others, and His Image [NY Times]

"In 9th grade, I dressed as a cheerleader on Halloween. It was my idea to wear the wedding dress. I didn't think it would offend anyone. I just wanted to show my relationship with Ditka. I was looking at myself, not as a football player, but as an open, interesting person. The reaction from reporters and fans was shocking. I didn't see why it was such a big deal for a football player not to be afraid to be in touch with that side of himself. It doesn't make sense that a football player is supposed to be fearless but should be afraid to be in touch with his feminine side."

And we all know how that metaphorical marriage ended.

The issue should be on stands this week.

Maybe it's Williams way of legitimizing his own "addiction" and altering the perception that his previous NFL suspensions, sabbaticals, and reefer madness were just symptoms of his immaturity and flakiness. Either way, Williiams told the Herald that the bye week is a tough time for him and he definitely thinks more about smoking because (duh, dude) there's no football to think about. But Williams assures the interviewer that it's not a big deal and he'll just go stand on his head or rub rocks or watch "Smiley Face" for the tenth time or whatever it is he does when he "meditates" to keep from toking up.

Williams also told the reporter that he looks forward to the NFL's drug tester showing up to his house, which happens 9 times per month, and that's a sign of how far he's come:

``For the first couple of years I was more worried about how I could beat the test. Now that I'm dealing with the issue, I'm almost thankful for it. I like the testing guy and I'm used to it. It's just part of my life.''

Hooray, Ricky. And how about after your career? You going to continue walking the straight and narrow after all of this silly NFL stuff is over?

''I don't know,'' he said. ``I'd be lying if I said I'm never going to do it again after I'm done. I don't know. I don't spend much time thinking about it.''

You know why he doesn't spend much time thinking about it? Because he's stoned.

Miami Dolphins' Williams Avoids Temptation During Bye Week [Miami Herald]

But, thankfully, we also find out that the hippie haze of one too many pulls off the hookah still lingers.

Take, for example, Williams' thoughts about declining an invitation to attend Cedric Benson's notorious boat party from two weeks ago:

I think if I had come down, things might have worked out a little bit differently.I find I have a calming influence on people when I'm around.

Yes, it's pretty clear that if Williams had attended the boat party, the atmosphere would've been much, much different. Instead of a bumpin', drink guzzlin' boat jam, it would've been more like a floating yoga party, with jugs of pomegranate juice being passed around and sporadic yelping sessions in an attempt to communicate with sperm whales. The cops wouldn't be anywhere near that party.

Ricky Williams Ready For Football — Finally [Austin American-Statesman]
Ricky Williams Wishes He Had Been On Benson's Boat [AOL Fanhouse]

Next February, after his former Miami Dolphins teammates are putting the finishing touches on their Super Bowl victory, Ricky is teaching a yoga seminar.

Ricky Williams (Rudra) is a professional NFL (National Football League) player and winner of the Heisman Trophy. He is also a Sivananda Yoga teacher with experience in teaching hatha yoga in Sivananda Ashrams around the world.

In competition, athletes at all ability levels tend to have a fear of losing, of other competitors, or of developing mental deterrents to excellent performance. Meditation is invaluable in overcoming these problems. One of the great benefits of yoga practice is to unite the forces of body and mind so that they are not at odds with one another. This is also of great benefit to athletes, sportsmen and sportswomen. Asanas and pranayama help to develop greater body awareness, and to build up vitality and concentration.

If the Dolphins are smart, they'll send Ronnie Brown to that thing. Heck, bring Cleo Lemon, while you're at it.

Yoga And Sports [My Yoga]

I thought I remembered Ricky saying that he wanted to stay in Canada. I've always personally thought Ricky was extremely likable, but he does have sort of a Ron Artest quality about him — not that he's dangerous, just that he says things that he thinks he believes, but that most people know have zero chance of actually being true.

Anyway, now he's excited about coming back to the NFL and the Miami Dolphins, an organization that hasn't changed much at all since Ricky's been away. The Dolphins, for their part, say there's absolutely nothing to report about Ricky Williams and would seem to want to pretend that Ricky does not exist.

Steinberg also says that Ricky wants to write a book (crayon on hemp, I'm guessing), which I'd consider a must-read. Crazy/interesting athletes have written books before, but none quite on the level of Ricky, and it's usually after they've retired. It wouldn't surprise me at all to learn that Ricky was able to bang out a few chapters during Argonauts huddles.

Williams starting process to return to NFL [ESPN]

Same details as usual here ... Ricky doesn't smoke pot anymore ... Ricky had social anxiety disorder ... Ricky wants to get back in the NFL ... Ricky is dangerously close to the ability to autofellate .... Ricky is living on a yoga farm ...

After the class, he was approached by Swami Sita, the camp's director. She told him, "I have a job for you." She gave Ricky a sledgehammer and asked him to knock down two old sheds. It took him two days. It's called karma yoga, selfless service. Swami Sita, obviously a sharp cookie, picked up on what the football world knows: If you're looking for a one-man wrecking crew — take that any way you want — Ricky is your guy.

Swami Sita and Williams sat and talked, and he says, "I've always felt misunderstood, but in two hours, she was able to understand me better than anyone has in my whole life."

You know, we're gonna go out on a limb here, Ricky: You're not particularly deep. You are just easily pointed on a certain direction; you're easily malleable. This is OK. This does not make you a terrible person. It just means that we're full expecting you to be a Scientologist in four years.

Williams' Clear Vision: An NFL Comeback [San Francisco Chronicle]

When it was pointed out that it will be his first playoff appearance since he was a New Orleans Saint, Williams clearly was irked. "Who cares what happened seven years ago?" the NFL star said, his voice rising.

It's all in the name of a story, the reporter replied.

"Well that's a horrible story," countered the man whose next loss will be his last as an Argo. "What does it matter that I was hurt seven years ago? Me today has nothing to do with me breaking my ankle seven years ago."

You can see the video here. It's not a historic blowup, but it is entertaining to watch, if just because it's impossible to ascertain which person is being more of an idiot, which one is making a good point and which one is just being a jerk. Hey, in an exchange like this, we're all winners. Though that Toronto media can be pretty brutal.

Ricky Williams Video [Sportsnet]

Much love goes out to the fine people at Sewhawk Blue who put together this video starring Koren Robinson, Ricky Williams, and Michael Irvin. These are people that understand the true power of the internet, and exactly what it should be used for.

Karaoke Night At The Rehab [SeahawkBlue]
Karaoke Night At The Rehab [NFL Fanhouse]

While Joe Theismann was probably somewhere watching the game with his son, the Argonauts took a little poke at Joe, too. Joe said that the signing of Ricky made him embarrassed to have ever worn the Argonauts logo. So last night on the Jumbotron, the Argos showed a picture of Theismann wearing his helmet with the 'A' logo on the side, then an eraser coming by and erasing the logo. The words "Happy Now, Joe?" then appeared on the screen.

As for Ricky, he did seem happy and unconcerned about his relatively unproductive evening. ''I did a decent job on pass protection. Obviously I didn't have that many yards running the ball but I felt pretty good about my performance," he said. "It felt good, it felt natural. I wasn't nervous, I felt comfortable with the offence."

I don't think there is anything good or natural about spelling "offense" with a "c".

Ricky Don't Lose that Number [The Wade Blogs]
Tiger-Cats spoil Ricky Williams' debut [CTV.ca]

"I haven't had a chance to talk to Ricky about it, but any consideration given to that opportunity would be done in consultation with the Dolphins because [coach] Nick Saban's perspective and their permission is imperative," Steinberg said.

In other words, if the Dolphins say it's OK, he'll probably go. This could be good news, not only for the Toronto Hemp company, but also for the famous Cheaters Adult Club on Yonge Street. They might not know you as well as in Austin, Ricky, but it's only a matter of time.

Be careful of that exchange rate, though.

Argonauts Pursue Ricky Williams [James Mirtle]
CFL Team Eyes Ricky [Seattle Times]

• Have been considered a mysterious, enigmatic legend, leaving the game while he was at its zenith and everyone discussing his brilliance and what might have been.
• Would not owe the Miami Dolphins $8.6 million with no obvious income possibilities at the age of 30, when running backs' careers are traditionally almost over.
• Would not have to pay $4,600 a month in child support for the third of his four children, and would not have to pay whatever he's paying for the other three.
• Would have never had to talk to Mike Wallace.
• Would pretty much get free pot wherever he went, for life.

Obviously, when you're talking weed, there's going to be a level of amusement to the story. But Williams' story is, in our eyes, a tragic one, a life ruined by professional sport and personal weaknesses. Williams life is a disaster area, and there isn't much time left to turn it around. A friend of Williams', on the eve of the draft the year he came out, worried publicly that Williams might "be too sensitive for pro football." Time has proven him all-too-correct.

It's Official [Orange And Teal]

We're not sure if Ricky's going to be reinstated or not, and we're also not sure if we really care all that much. Frankly, we think only Mike Wallace cares.

We find ourselves, however, somewhat curious as to what will come of Ricky if he ends up suspended for one more year. We cross our fingers that he finally admits that he doesn't really like football all that much and instead prefers, oh, marijuana. And then he sets up a shop in Times Square, sells beads and signs autographs. The guy would instantly become a public hero. Why isn't he doing this? Isn't he out from under debt yet? We have a feeling we will care about Ricky Williams a lot more when he's 50, than now. If he makes it that long.

Ricky Williams Hearing Moved [Miami Herald]

Now, it'd be a shame to lose Ricky for the season. He'll always be a flake, but it's a less interesting NFL season without him and I'm hopeful that his little misstep was nothing more than an unknowing ingestion of an illegal substance, which probably won't play well either way based on his past history. Let's hope he blames Miguel Tejada for this. That'd be fun.

Williams Appeals Failed Drug Test [YahooSports]
Williams' Career May Have Gone Up in Smoke [Deadspin]

Attempts by the Miami Herald to contact Williams were unssuccesful. "Williams did not return an e-mail message from The Miami Herald on Sunday night," wrote Dolphins beat writer Jason Cole. "He has spent much of the offseason in Northern California studying yoga and had planned to go to India for further study."

Considering that Williams has been tested by the NFL 10 times a month since his return to the NFL this past season, that trip to India might have been problematic. If he appeals, perhaps Williams can say that a little weed is required homework.

Report: Ricky Violates Drug Policy Again [Miami Herald]

Ricky Williams (Miami Dolphins) is Bi, something that was well known here in Austin when he attended. He does love the ladies however he's not one to pass on a stiff one. He kept company with a couple of strippers that worked at the Yellow Rose and they have some interesteing stories with regards to some of Mr. Williams fetishes. He likes toys such asbutt plugs and anal beads anything regarding anal stimulation and such as that. When former teammates like James Brown (a former UT quarterback) are asked about Ricky they always give a little knowing chuckle and just respond with "He's a wierd character."

For the record, this is hardly the first time there have been such whispers. So that's why Mike Wallace kept hanging around.

NFL Wives Club [Yahoo Groups]
Ricky Williams Retires [OutSports]