Fresh off his one-stroke 18 hole playoff loss to Tiger, the man, the myth, the legend, Rocco Mediate clocked in his first round at -1. So if you had a dream that man boobs were going to own the British Open and you rushed to Vegas to lay your money on Phil, you picked the wrong tits.

Only three players were able to break par. One guy who finished even? 53 year old Greg Norman. Norman last won a major in 1993. Of course he collapsed in the 1996 Masters and later threw a party where President Clinton tore his ACL, but other than that he's been out of the news. Also, Norman doesn't look 53. I'm pretty sure he could still kick most of our asses.

Like a guy not quite certain if he wants to be a part of the gangbang, Sergio Garcia is lurking at +2.

British Open Leaderboard [CBS]

Tiger's drive hugged the fairway line; Rocco's fell short and landed in the bunker. Death looks sudden for Rocco. He needed a miracle. It didn't happen. Rocco instead booted his bunker shot against the cart path and slowly slipped one foot into the body bag.

If anything, this match-up has secured the U.S. Open as the most watchable and exciting tournament in golf. It won't be like this every year. Actually, it'll probably never be this good again.

Years from now, this U.S. Open will probably be best remembered for Tiger's heroics — the eagles, the histrionics, the ridiculous chip-in, and the pressure-packed putt he sank to force a playoff. Rocco Mediate will most likely be forgotten after this year.

For Tiger, this is his 14th major. Whoopity shit. .

Live coverage U.S. Open [Golf.com]
Hole-by-hole [Yahoo!]

In an interview before the final round, Rocco told NBC Sports that he would probably "just quit" if he won the U.S. Open. It's his favorite championship, but one that hasn't been too kind to him in the past. In fact, no majors have been kind to Rocco. And Tiger, who was supposedly unbeatable when he had the lead after three rounds, kept leaving plenty of opportunities for Mediate to have hope.

Rocco was the 158th ranked golfer in the world coming into Torrey Pines on Thursday. With a victory today, he would hold the record as the lowest ranked professional ever to be a U.S. Open champion.

Going into the 18th hole, it was a win-win situation for any sports fan. With Tiger down by one, you could witness another comeback, another testament to his dominance, and all of those crazy eagle putts on Saturday and the huge 12-footer yesterday have more significance. But if Rocco wins, you witness one of the greatest upsets in professional golf history.

Going to sudden death...

Hole-by-hole [Yahoo!]
Live Coverage [Golf.com]
Woods And Mediate Battle For U.S. Open [NY Times]

On 15, Rocco turned up the pressure hitting a third birdie putt in a row that pretty much turned everyone in the gallery on his side. Tiger boots his birdie putt.

After 15 holes, Rocco Mediate has a one stroke lead on Tiger Woods.

Dan Hicks stokes the melodrama:

"It's Rocco's championship at the moment....the atmosphere here is absolutely electric..."

Last three holes are going to be nuts.

Live blog [Yahoo]

Rocco's disposition has changed; he's no longer the smiling, wise-cracking everyman, now he's just a man laboring through the final round waiting for a merciful death. Or is he? Tiger's second shot on 12 resulted in his first audible "Goddammit!" of the day and a disgusted club toss. Rocco saves par.

Rocco is one shot down after 12.

Here's Rocco during happier, less pressure-filled times at last year's World Series Of Poker.

US Open Liveblog [Yahoo!]
Live blog, Old School [OobGolf]

Broadcast switch. ESPN retires its coverage for the day and turns it over to Bob Costas at NBC who sounds very, very serious, saying that "Rocco Mediate's Cinderella story is in jeopardy." He's speaking in hushed tones, like he's in a confessional or explaining death to a small child. He has not called Sean Salisbury a "fetus-faced douche." Yet.

But, seriously, was there any warning about this switch-over? I've been watching Scott Van Pelt ejaculate all over himself talking about the highlights for the last five minutes before they told me it switched over.

Anyway, Rocco's down by two going into the turn. It doesn't appear to look good for the man with the Rorschach Test hairline.

U.S. Open Blog [Yahoo]

Rocco has yet to change his "just happy to be here playing with the best", type of attitude. Tiger, on the other hand, seems ready to say, "Would somebody please shut the little Italian man up?"

Golf.com, trying to live blog this event, clearly underestimated how much their server could handle and has subsequently crashed

And, hey, MJD's jumped into the U.S. Open Live Blog at Yahoo!

After six, Woods takes a one stroke lead.

.

So far, neither one of their caddies have head-butted any spectators.

US Open Playoff Live Blog [Yahoo]

The first nine holes are on ESPN — we don't know if they're bringing Berman back; maybe they'll have that absolutely-hilarious-on-television Rick Reilly — with the last nine on NBC. We can't think of a better all-day contrast between Mediate and Woods; either win is a great story. All we ask is that Tiger grimace as little as possible because of that knee. You think your knee has problems, Tiger? Rocco Mediate has a goiter the size of Pakistan.

You can follow along right here, if you're feeling frisky.

Still, we found it fitting, on Father's Day, that the U.S. Open champion was almost a middle-aged guy with a gut. This is honestly the most we've ever watched of a golf tournament — heck, we even played golf this weekend, though perhaps "play" is the wrong word — and, all told, it's kind of nice that a guy with three sons, and a guy who just had one, ended up tied.

We think our favorite Woods moment today was when, after messing up his bunker shot on the 18th hole, almost costing himself a chance to tie Mediate, he threw his club. It's nice to see superhumans, on occasion, feel the same pain the rest of the planet feels. And still: We were certain that last putt was going to fall. It seems obvious in retrospect.

Anyway, yeah: We're all golfy today. And we get one more tomorrow. Happy Father's Day.

(By the way, sorry about all the commenting mixups; it's a Gawker tech problem that, whenever the tech people get in the office again, we'll hopefully be fixed. Yipes.)