Here's the bloody game. And did you know that there is actually a Rock Paper Scissors national championship? Here's some video at their site, if you want to waste even more time.

In other sports news involving politics, the NFL has announced that it will move back the start of its NFL opener this coming season so as not to conflict with the Republican National Convention that same evening. So it'll be 7 p.m., ET, instead of the traditional 8:30 p.m. So that's 4 p.m. to me. Damn you, McCain! (one, two, three ... paper!).

USA Rock Paper Scissors site
Barack, Paper, Scissors [Deuce Of Davenport]
NFL And NBC Agree To Move Kickoff Of Opener Up In Response To Republican Convention Conflict [Awful Announcing]

Even the analyst — sitting next to a bewildered Trey Wingo — couldn't convince his audience.

"A lot of people used to laugh about it, but there is absolutely nothing FUNNY about the sport of Rock Paper Scissors. Rock Paper Scissors is a complex game. The winners must possess skill, strategy, stamina, arms and fists. Now if you tell me this sport doesn't require athleticism, I'll show you a player that's suffering from shoulder fatigue, wrist cramps, and RPS-Tunnel Syndrome."

Wait ... Does Carlos Zambrano know about this? How about Joel Zumaya? Or all athletes, for that matter.

The Rock Paper Scissors Championship [Joe Sports Fan]