@This.Is.Malcolm: It's solely and completely about your self confidence. If you don't have it, you're gonna continue to get stuck in situations like this, unless you find someone with less self confidence than you.
Which is sometimes the answer to reversing the trend.
@Pete Gaines: Which may have been exactly what she was doing as well. Reversing the trens. I am not gonna lie. I have done that as well. Cripes, that may make me a bad person.
@Rock You Like An Iracane: Omg, is THAT who that is?? Christ. Yes. Agreed. Worse than Lady Gaga even.
Actually, wait, no. Worse than that? That godawful "Birthday Sex" song. Ick. And also, the first three times I heard it I thought it was "First Date Sex". Which somehow would have made it better.
I don't have stories. I won't whimper or whine. I will just say that I will never understand women. And right now I really want to. It's getting a little harder everyday to live in a world with them.
@This.Is.Malcolm: Suit yourself. I'm still trying to figure out why I need to receive eleventy hundred text messages from a guy detailing how wasted he is. Explain that one for me.
@Katni: But that is so sexy. A real turn on. The egg maker texts me after we have been out and tells me he has the brown bottle flu. It does make me laugh.
@Pete Gaines: @The Boy Wonder: @J-No: Thing is she was into me before we drank and smoke. She was talking to me, staring at me and smiling, the whole thing before we ever stepped foot at her place. And she was absolutely sober. Maybe a drink in her.
Also, we became facebook friends. So she can't avoid me.
@This.Is.Malcolm: Some girls just go out on the prowl. You may have been used, enjoy it for what it was and move on. No matter what she feels/thinks you constantly stressing on it wont help a damn thing.
Also, we became facebook friends. So she can't avoid me.
The first thing you need to do is lose that outlook.
@This.Is.Malcolm: Fucking DISAPPEAR from this girl. Move on as though it's over (which it most likely is) - the only thing that saves you is that she misses you and initiates contact. Sorry, but that's how it works.
Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: I once asked how long she thought it would take for everyone to come crawling out of the woodwork if we "ended" the Facebook relationship. That did NOT go over well.
@Business_Socks: he has fallen into a hole of suck lately. but considering the mountain of awesomeness he started with (and the fact that he's from KC), it'll be a while before i'm truly upset with him.
@J-No: we can beat the Blues! WE CAN BUILD ON THIS!
@Count Antonio Alfonseca Rugen's Sixth Finger: used to, not anymore. It's not real money when I can move it between accounts in a second. Just numbers on a screen. Ya know, unless you have a place in a country without an extradition treaty...
@Katni: No tequila, just beers, but I thought I ought to pop in and say hi to the ladies and gentlemen of the house. I am from Chicago, it is perfectly correct to say "hey guys" to a group of women.
Also, I may or may not have been propositioned this evening, but I am fairly dense in this area.
@J-No: I'm just messin' with you. And, I'll send you a copy of my newsletter. "How To Tell If You're Being Mistaken For A Prostitue Quarterly Journal". Now with a bonus recipe section.
@J-No: Were you wearing a hoodie? If you were then my understanding is you were definitely propositioned. If you weren't then you'll have to trust your judgment.
@J-No: Hmmm, ok; were you texted a pic of said propositioner's dick? Cause that's a pretty sure sign that somebody is wanting you to be their with leather.
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Hmm. If I had known all this time that these guys only wanted to take me out for a Rooty Tooty Fresh n' Fruity, I wouldn't have been so opposed.
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: NTQB did not send me a picture of his package. I just want to be clear here. No, I just sort of knew it was on, but I am a chicken shit lately. Don't know why. Actually, I do, but it is a long boring story and who wants to hear that.
@notthequarterback: I took Monday off to watch baseball and Tuesday to be my Sunday. I am watching with the egg maker. He is also trying to turn me to the dark side.
@FirstDerivative: JFC, that is the worst thing I have ever heard.
@J-No: I also in general love breakfast food. However, I went to a breakfast meeting this morning at IHOP and I was literally appalled at their menu.
THEIR FUCKING OMELETS ARE MADE WITH PANCAKE BATTER. Their healthiest omelet (spinach, tomato, and mushroom) comes swimming in FUCKING HOLLANDAISE SAUCE. And all of them come with three pancakes.
THIS IS WHY YOU'RE FAT, AMERICA (not why I'm fat. I'm fat because I drink too much and eat food after the bars. Big difference.)
For the record, I got the healthy omelet sans hollandaise and with whole-grain toast instead of pancakes. I feel like Jack fucking LaLaine today.
@notthequarterback: Yep, because he is one of them. And I am not going to lie, after last October I am pissed enough to do it.
@UkraineNotWeak: I had a guy tonight talking about the eggs he was going to make me. Did I want to come over for some eggs? Implied, tomorrow. But I chickened out. I adore him and have been friends with him for a long time. He is my +1 at many events. He rocks. I am chicken because in a lot of ways he reminds me of my ex. And I think this could just lead to a mess.
@J-No: Exactly. Look, I understand throwing in a biscuit or hashbrowns or even a pancake as a side, but an entire order of pancakes, on top of a 3-egg omelet fortified with pancake batter and more cheese than you can shake a stick at?
Is IHOP owned by the Chinese or something, or someone who is working to take down this country?
@This.Is.Malcolm: What is the situation? Maybe we can give you some insight. Overall we have crazy thoughts that run through our heads, so you just have to accept that for what it is.
Girl I met Friday. Went back to her place. Made out for a long time. Smoked up. Drank. Not drunk though. She wanted to go hiking with me next Sat. She talked about doing more things in the future. Was very into me. Lives a block from me, so it's not like she could avoid me and knowingly try it (then again it was the first time I saw her).
She said she'd call Saturday after work to hang out. She didn't. I called her, no answer. Texted her Sunday just to see if she had plans. Nothing.
She texted back Monday saying she was sick the last two days. That was confirmed by a friend later. She said in the text "we will catch up."
She hasn't been in touch with me since. Now I know it's Weds. and I'm slightly being Mikey in Swingers here, but this girl was actually into me. Like really.
Yesterday I saw her friend, and we spoke about her. Friend says she doesn't know what she wants. "Been breaking hearts for months now. Tearing things up."
So why the fuck would you sweet talk a guy so badly? Only when you're making out with him? I don't even do that to girls.
@This.Is.Malcolm: Something really seems off here. Sometimes I will say yes to things and then get nervous baout how did I get myself into this later. Especially if I have been drinking. My advice. Follow up in a few days or so and then let it go if she does not respond. You are a guy, you can go out anytime you want.
@JohnnyDakotaStateU: Mike Iuzzolino is fucking deadly from 3 point range, according to NBA Jam. Seriously, there's never been a bigger disparity between a video game and real player in history.
@Token_Tennis_Fan: I'm getting ready to scream at some comcast lackey in Bangalore because I don't have the tennis channel or any other sports channel that I'm supposed to have after moving last week.
04/02/09
04/02/09
You give us such a negative connotation.
04/02/09
Oh, and @thisismalcolm- yeah, Facebook shouldn't even enter into the equation. Ever. Best of luck.
04/02/09
04/02/09
Which is sometimes the answer to reversing the trend.
04/02/09
04/02/09
3Oh!3, "Don't Trust Me." Not the real video.
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
Expect it to dominate a month this year.
04/02/09
Actually, wait, no. Worse than that? That godawful "Birthday Sex" song. Ick. And also, the first three times I heard it I thought it was "First Date Sex". Which somehow would have made it better.
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
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04/02/09
I won't go into details. I just don't know.
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
"I'm at the strip club. Made me think of you. Hi!"
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
Again, this is why I don't get girls.
Ha.
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
Also, we became facebook friends. So she can't avoid me.
04/02/09
Also, we became facebook friends. So she can't avoid me.
The first thing you need to do is lose that outlook.
04/02/09
@This.Is.Malcolm: Fucking DISAPPEAR from this girl. Move on as though it's over (which it most likely is) - the only thing that saves you is that she misses you and initiates contact. Sorry, but that's how it works.
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
"Gentlemen Callers"
Are you reading The Glass Menagerie?
04/02/09
04/02/09
Stanley Kowalski in a ripped t-shirt and a diaper. A must see.
04/02/09
04/02/09
And the circle is complete.
04/02/09
04/02/09
The key was Haile Selassie.
04/01/09
Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML
04/01/09
04/02/09
Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML
04/02/09
04/02/09
At least one of them couldn't accuse me of being too boring.
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
@Katni: Nothing says I love you as much as I am surrounded by a bunch of WHORES! and it made me think of you.
04/01/09
04/02/09
04/01/09
04/01/09
04/01/09
Hey lady! What are you doing up at this hour, hmmm? Another tequila bender?
04/01/09
@Count Antonio Alfonseca Rugen's Sixth Finger: used to, not anymore. It's not real money when I can move it between accounts in a second. Just numbers on a screen. Ya know, unless you have a place in a country without an extradition treaty...
04/01/09
Also, I may or may not have been propositioned this evening, but I am fairly dense in this area.
04/01/09
04/01/09
04/01/09
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04/01/09
@Katni: I don't thin I was mistaken for a whore. I think I was mistaken for a girl who wanted to have breakfast with him. 9-10 hours from now.
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: My judgment is less than stellar.
04/01/09
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@J-No: Sorry. The avatar just gets me.
@UkraineNotWeak: Isn't it past your bedtime?
04/01/09
04/01/09
04/01/09
Yes. Yes it is.
04/01/09
04/01/09
He sketched it.
04/01/09
04/01/09
04/01/09
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04/01/09
Is it worth a trip to South Bend?
04/01/09
04/01/09
@FirstDerivative: JFC, that is the worst thing I have ever heard.
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
THEIR FUCKING OMELETS ARE MADE WITH PANCAKE BATTER. Their healthiest omelet (spinach, tomato, and mushroom) comes swimming in FUCKING HOLLANDAISE SAUCE. And all of them come with three pancakes.
THIS IS WHY YOU'RE FAT, AMERICA (not why I'm fat. I'm fat because I drink too much and eat food after the bars. Big difference.)
For the record, I got the healthy omelet sans hollandaise and with whole-grain toast instead of pancakes. I feel like Jack fucking LaLaine today.
04/02/09
@notthequarterback: Yep, because he is one of them. And I am not going to lie, after last October I am pissed enough to do it.
@UkraineNotWeak: I had a guy tonight talking about the eggs he was going to make me. Did I want to come over for some eggs? Implied, tomorrow. But I chickened out. I adore him and have been friends with him for a long time. He is my +1 at many events. He rocks. I am chicken because in a lot of ways he reminds me of my ex. And I think this could just lead to a mess.
04/02/09
I still can't believe IHOP sends out 3 pancakes as a side to an omelet that's as big as Mark McGwire's forearm.
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
04/02/09
@This.Is.Malcolm: What do you want to know?
04/02/09
04/02/09
Is IHOP owned by the Chinese or something, or someone who is working to take down this country?
04/02/09
@This.Is.Malcolm: What is the situation? Maybe we can give you some insight. Overall we have crazy thoughts that run through our heads, so you just have to accept that for what it is.
04/02/09
04/02/09
Girl I met Friday. Went back to her place. Made out for a long time. Smoked up. Drank. Not drunk though. She wanted to go hiking with me next Sat. She talked about doing more things in the future. Was very into me. Lives a block from me, so it's not like she could avoid me and knowingly try it (then again it was the first time I saw her).
She said she'd call Saturday after work to hang out. She didn't. I called her, no answer. Texted her Sunday just to see if she had plans. Nothing.
She texted back Monday saying she was sick the last two days. That was confirmed by a friend later. She said in the text "we will catch up."
She hasn't been in touch with me since. Now I know it's Weds. and I'm slightly being Mikey in Swingers here, but this girl was actually into me. Like really.
Yesterday I saw her friend, and we spoke about her. Friend says she doesn't know what she wants. "Been breaking hearts for months now. Tearing things up."
So why the fuck would you sweet talk a guy so badly? Only when you're making out with him? I don't even do that to girls.
04/02/09
04/01/09
04/01/09
04/01/09
04/01/09
Sparkle and Fade is a really good album, i still listen to it
04/01/09
Oh, and that's one of the first bands I ever saw live as well. Good album. I'm with you on this one.
04/01/09
04/01/09
i hope they have a NBA Jam T.E. quiz soon
04/01/09
04/01/09
Bart Kofoed. Tecmo Basketball. He was unstoppable. I think the programmers did it for shits and giggles.
04/01/09
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