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Posts Tagged “

Roger Clemens

the non-existent roger clemens spike

Mindy McCready's Confessions Haven't Translated Into Album Sales Yet

Mindy McCready, the "troubled" country singer who admitted she had some sort of relationship with Roger Clemens that would probably not be copasetic with Debbie Clemens, is also trying to revinvigorate her stalled country singing career with a new album, reality show, etc. Granted, plenty of other women have been unearthed by the New York Daily News, who've said they've also been part of Roger's bodacious bullpen, but McCready's seemed more career-minded than the others. (Unless, of course, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake is staging a comeback that I don't know about.) More »

who's sorry now?

Who's Sorry Now? Rocket Edition

Nowhere in the recorded history of regret has there been a more hang-dog expression than this. Hasn't Roger Clemens suffered enough? Just look at him. The round head that reminds you of the boulder that chased Indiana Jones. The pale skin that reminds you of the moon. The furrowed brow where he keeps extra folding money. On Sunday Clemens came hat in hand to the Houston Chronicle and apologized ... for what I have no idea. More »

roger clemens' act of contrition

Roger Clemens Is Sorry For Everything, Some Things, And Nothing

Last week was another rough one for once-destined Hall of Fame pitcher Roger Clemens, as the New York Daily News trotted out a harem of women with whom he'd allegedly had some steamy relations with, much to the chagrin of his HGH-injecting wife and many Texas political figures. More »

roger clemens

Notches On Roger Clemens' Bedpost Keep Surfacing

If we're to believe the New York Daily News sources (which are to be believed most of the time — unless you're a Sean Avery fan), one of the other women who may or may not have had the Rocket inside them is John Daly's ex-wife, Paulette. More »

the female equivalent of blue steel

Another One Of Clemens' Part-Time Ladies Strikes A Pose

This is Angela Moyers, real estate agent from Lemoyne, Pa., who also is rumored to have had an ongoing part-time humpathon with Roger Clemens while he was still married and being America's perfect family man. More »

mindy mccready

Emotionally Damaged Crazy Lady Confirms Affair With Clemens

In what seemed like a clumsily orchestrated ambush against former pitcher Roger Clemens after the Daily News' odd "Raj-diddled-a-15-year-old" story yesterday, the woman behind the affair, "troubled" country singer Mindy McCready has held a press conference to say she stands by what the NYDN wrote. More »

roger clemens

Roger Clemens, 15-Year-Old Country Singers, OxyContin, Stolen Trucks And You

You might have thought Roger Clemens would have done just about everything he could possibly do to destroy his reputation over the last few months. Showing up in the Mitchell Reporter, crashing and burning in his last start as a Yankee, looking like a fool in front of Congress. What could be worse than all that? Oh, we dunno ... how about ... starting a 10-year affair with a 15-year-old country music singer? More »

job opportunities

Bonds, Clemens Providing Endless Comedy Fodder For Minor League Teams

As long as Minor League Baseball has general managers willing to put out comedy press releases, Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens will always have job offers. Last week we told you about the Huntsville Stars' offer to make Clemens their backup mascot. Then on Wednesday, Bonds — who wants to play in the majors but has had zero bites — got a similar offer from the Lake Elsinore (Calif.) Storm. More »

guest lecture series

I Know That A--hole Knows What A Vegan Is


Welcome back to the Deadspin Guest Lecture Series. Each week, we'll be bringing in various luminaries from the world of sports - players, coaches, and MORE! - to speak to you folks directly. This week, it's California Congressman and Roger Clemens' own personal Inspector Javert, Henry Waxman.

More »

roger clemens

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

If Roger Clemens ever tires of heading out there and "defending" "his" name," he's gonna come to the harsh reality that he is, after all, unemployed. As you wonder aloud what he might be qualified to do — we suggest perhaps dry cleaning — the Huntsville Stars, the Double A affiliate for the Milwaukee Brewers, have a job they think that might serve him: Mascot. More »

roger clemens and you

The Other Shoe Drops In Clemens Case

I guess the lesson is that you don't come into Henry Waxman's house talking smack. Just hours after Congress recommended that Roger Clemens' testimony be examined by the Justice Department, the FBI announced that it has begun investigating whether the pitcher lied to Congress when he denied taking steroids. More »

no drug questions, please

Roger Clemens Is Not An Animal!

Roger Clemens arrived in Kissimmee, Fla., on Tuesday to, well, work out I guess. Why is Clemens welcome at Astros training camp while Barry Bonds is universally shunned? Answer: A). Clemens has two functioning knees, B). Bonds is not a Republican, C). Clemens gives better quotes, or D). All of the above. The answer of course is D! Example: More »

Lead BALCO investigator to interview Jose Canseco concerning Roger Clemens. Not only was Clemens apparently at that party he said he didn't attend, but his wife and Canseco's wife compared implants there. [Steroid Nation]

roger clemens

Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole


All told, as the dust has settled from Roger Clemens' appearance before Congress yesterday, one thing is clear: There is, in fact, a worse stance to take under oath than "I'm not here to talk about this past." And it involves ass bleeding. More »

roger clemens

What Today Has Meant, If Anything


Who knows what one can take from the ridiculousness on display in the Clemens testimony today? As we suspected, no one comes out looking good, and we didn't really learn anything either. One guy's lying, one guy isn't, we have a pretty solid idea which is which, and it ultimately doesn't really matter. Roger Clemens' name is going to be connected to steroids forever; it'll be the reason he might not make it to the Hall of Fame (though we bet he sneaks in), and it will certainly be in his obituary. That was the case before today, and it's the case now. More »

roger clemens

What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings


So, here's pretty much what you've missed in the Roger Clemens testimony so far:
• Clemens said the conversation in which Andy Pettitte claims Clemens admitted to steroid use was actually about "a TV show in which three older people said they'd used HGH and improved their quality of life." Oh, so like Cocoon? More »

steroids

Roger Clemens' Supposed, Alleged Day Of Reckoning


As you know, we've had a hard time getting ourselves worked up about the Clemens-in-front-of-Congress hype; someone's telling the truth, someone's lying, and what it has to do at all with the steroid "problem" is beyond our comprehension. But hey: It's possible that Roger Clemens' entire reputation will be destroyed on national television today. (Well, C-SPAN3, anyway.) That's probably worth tuning in for. More »

roger clemens

Roger Clemens Vs. Congress ... Quien Es Mas Macho?

We find it difficult to work ourselves up about this Roger Clemens Congress business. We think it's because the purpose of this has all been so lost. Remember, these Congressional "trials" were meant to get to the bottom of this steroid mess, find out how we got here, for the kids! But that's not what this is about. Roger Clemens is being brought before Congress to be called a liar and made a fool out of. That's all. More »