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the non-existent roger clemens spike
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Roger Clemens
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the non-existent roger clemens spike
who's sorry now?
Who's Sorry Now? Rocket Edition
Nowhere in the recorded history of regret has there been a more hang-dog expression than this. Hasn't Roger Clemens suffered enough? Just look at him. The round head that reminds you of the boulder that chased Indiana Jones. The pale skin that reminds you of the moon. The furrowed brow where he keeps extra folding money. On Sunday Clemens came hat in hand to the Houston Chronicle and apologized ... for what I have no idea. More »
roger clemens' act of contrition
Roger Clemens Is Sorry For Everything, Some Things, And Nothing
Last week was another rough one for once-destined Hall of Fame pitcher Roger Clemens, as the New York Daily News trotted out a harem of women with whom he'd allegedly had some steamy relations with, much to the chagrin of his HGH-injecting wife and many Texas political figures. More »
roger clemens
Notches On Roger Clemens' Bedpost Keep Surfacing
If we're to believe the New York Daily News sources (which are to be believed most of the time — unless you're a Sean Avery fan), one of the other women who may or may not have had the Rocket inside them is John Daly's ex-wife, Paulette. More »
the female equivalent of blue steel
Another One Of Clemens' Part-Time Ladies Strikes A Pose
This is Angela Moyers, real estate agent from Lemoyne, Pa., who also is rumored to have had an ongoing part-time humpathon with Roger Clemens while he was still married and being America's perfect family man. More »
mindy mccready
Emotionally Damaged Crazy Lady Confirms Affair With Clemens
In what seemed like a clumsily orchestrated ambush against former pitcher Roger Clemens after the Daily News' odd "Raj-diddled-a-15-year-old" story yesterday, the woman behind the affair, "troubled" country singer Mindy McCready has held a press conference to say she stands by what the NYDN wrote. More »
roger clemens
Roger Clemens, 15-Year-Old Country Singers, OxyContin, Stolen Trucks And You
You might have thought Roger Clemens would have done just about everything he could possibly do to destroy his reputation over the last few months. Showing up in the Mitchell Reporter, crashing and burning in his last start as a Yankee, looking like a fool in front of Congress. What could be worse than all that? Oh, we dunno ... how about ... starting a 10-year affair with a 15-year-old country music singer? More »
job opportunities
Bonds, Clemens Providing Endless Comedy Fodder For Minor League Teams
As long as Minor League Baseball has general managers willing to put out comedy press releases, Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens will always have job offers. Last week we told you about the Huntsville Stars' offer to make Clemens their backup mascot. Then on Wednesday, Bonds — who wants to play in the majors but has had zero bites — got a similar offer from the Lake Elsinore (Calif.) Storm. More »
guest lecture series
I Know That A--hole Knows What A Vegan Is
Welcome back to the Deadspin Guest Lecture Series. Each week, we'll be bringing in various luminaries from the world of sports - players, coaches, and MORE! - to speak to you folks directly. This week, it's California Congressman and Roger Clemens' own personal Inspector Javert, Henry Waxman.
roger clemens
Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity
If Roger Clemens ever tires of heading out there and "defending" "his" name," he's gonna come to the harsh reality that he is, after all, unemployed. As you wonder aloud what he might be qualified to do — we suggest perhaps dry cleaning — the Huntsville Stars, the Double A affiliate for the Milwaukee Brewers, have a job they think that might serve him: Mascot. More »
roger clemens and you
The Other Shoe Drops In Clemens Case
I guess the lesson is that you don't come into Henry Waxman's house talking smack. Just hours after Congress recommended that Roger Clemens' testimony be examined by the Justice Department, the FBI announced that it has begun investigating whether the pitcher lied to Congress when he denied taking steroids. More »
no drug questions, please
Roger Clemens Is Not An Animal!
Roger Clemens arrived in Kissimmee, Fla., on Tuesday to, well, work out I guess. Why is Clemens welcome at Astros training camp while Barry Bonds is universally shunned? Answer: A). Clemens has two functioning knees, B). Bonds is not a Republican, C). Clemens gives better quotes, or D). All of the above. The answer of course is D! Example: More »
Lead BALCO investigator to interview Jose Canseco concerning Roger Clemens. Not only was Clemens apparently at that party he said he didn't attend, but his wife and Canseco's wife compared implants there. [Steroid Nation]
roger clemens
Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole
All told, as the dust has settled from Roger Clemens' appearance before Congress yesterday, one thing is clear: There is, in fact, a worse stance to take under oath than "I'm not here to talk about this past." And it involves ass bleeding. More »
roger clemens
Who knows what one can take from the ridiculousness on display in the Clemens testimony today? As we suspected, no one comes out looking good, and we didn't really learn anything either. One guy's lying, one guy isn't, we have a pretty solid idea which is which, and it ultimately doesn't really matter. Roger Clemens' name is going to be connected to steroids forever; it'll be the reason he might not make it to the Hall of Fame (though we bet he sneaks in), and it will certainly be in his obituary. That was the case before today, and it's the case now. More »
What Today Has Meant, If Anything
Who knows what one can take from the ridiculousness on display in the Clemens testimony today? As we suspected, no one comes out looking good, and we didn't really learn anything either. One guy's lying, one guy isn't, we have a pretty solid idea which is which, and it ultimately doesn't really matter. Roger Clemens' name is going to be connected to steroids forever; it'll be the reason he might not make it to the Hall of Fame (though we bet he sneaks in), and it will certainly be in his obituary. That was the case before today, and it's the case now. More »
roger clemens
So, here's pretty much what you've missed in the Roger Clemens testimony so far:
• Clemens said the conversation in which Andy Pettitte claims Clemens admitted to steroid use was actually about "a TV show in which three older people said they'd used HGH and improved their quality of life." Oh, so like Cocoon? More »
What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings
So, here's pretty much what you've missed in the Roger Clemens testimony so far:
• Clemens said the conversation in which Andy Pettitte claims Clemens admitted to steroid use was actually about "a TV show in which three older people said they'd used HGH and improved their quality of life." Oh, so like Cocoon? More »
steroids
As you know, we've had a hard time getting ourselves worked up about the Clemens-in-front-of-Congress hype; someone's telling the truth, someone's lying, and what it has to do at all with the steroid "problem" is beyond our comprehension. But hey: It's possible that Roger Clemens' entire reputation will be destroyed on national television today. (Well, C-SPAN3, anyway.) That's probably worth tuning in for. More »
Roger Clemens' Supposed, Alleged Day Of Reckoning
As you know, we've had a hard time getting ourselves worked up about the Clemens-in-front-of-Congress hype; someone's telling the truth, someone's lying, and what it has to do at all with the steroid "problem" is beyond our comprehension. But hey: It's possible that Roger Clemens' entire reputation will be destroyed on national television today. (Well, C-SPAN3, anyway.) That's probably worth tuning in for. More »
roger clemens
