Stop Sucking At Kissing

As a sex worker who has done in-person work for a decade, I’ve kissed a lot of frogs. So many, in fact, that I have a theory about why call girls of old had the “no kissing” rule, a rule that is unfortunately uncommon among contemporary escorts: It’s not because kissing is more intimate than other acts, but because… » 5/04/15 11:58am 5/04/15 11:58am

How To Deal With Valentine's Day, No Matter Who You Are

This year, Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday (FYI: It's tomorrow), making it awfully convenient for those of you planning a romantic weekend getaway and a three-day headache for the rest of us. Let's face it: This holiday isn't the greatest no matter your relationship status. (The media/retail onslaught of… » 2/13/15 3:52pm 2/13/15 3:52pm

And Now, Your Worst Failed Romantic Gestures

Back in eighth grade, I fell in love with a girl who didn't want anything to do with me, and the lovesickness got so bad that I played up the friend angle and called her every night, hoping and praying she would change her mind and want to hook up with me (NOPE). Anyway, I've told this story before, but one night… » 1/20/15 11:20am 1/20/15 11:20am

Engagement Chicken: A History of Romantic Culinary Bullshit

We're just six weeks short of Thanksgiving, which means two things: First, if your Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year plans involve air travel, book your ticket now or suffer the financial consequences. Secondly, if you're looking to get hitched over the holidays and believe in magic, it might be time to bust out the… » 10/15/14 1:33pm 10/15/14 1:33pm

What Louie's Fat-Girls Tirade Got Wrong About The Dudes Who Love Them

As you are probably aware by now, "BBW" means "big beautiful woman." I know: patronizing, annoying to say out loud (bee-bee-dubbleyew), sometimes confused with Bath and Body Works. But nonetheless, this is the three-letter PIN that you would Google (or Craigslist, or OKCupid) in order to find a fat woman. Why would… » 5/13/14 6:16pm 5/13/14 6:16pm

Ladies, J.R. Smith's Twitter Come-On Will Have You Sopping Wet [UPDATE:…

Last month, as the Knicks were in Philadelphia to play the Sixers, J.R. Smith was up to his old tricks. J.R.'s got something of a history with Twitter, and women, (and asses), so it's not like the young lady who chatted him up via direct message couldn't have known what she was getting into. Still, this is spectacular: » 2/21/13 5:50pm 2/21/13 5:50pm