Courtesy of Detroit Bad Boys, it appears that skirmish-loving Kings' forward is looking to nab another interview for "Best Damn Sports Show." His white whale? John Green, the Pistons fan who chucked the beer cup at Artest that sparked one of the ugliest (and captivating) moments in professional sports history. The Sacramento Bee has the details:

Apparently, Green has already been tracked down and appears to be on board with the plan. No date has been set, but the buzz grew enough that Fox’s Best Damn Sports Show caught wind of it and wanted Artest to do the interview in their LA studio. Artest, who has grown so comfortable in the studio of KHTK’s Carmichael Dave as his unofficial co-host recently, wants to do it in “his” house and Best Damn may be sending a video crew to capture the magic.

Wonder if he could get Jermaine O'Neal to work the boom mic?

This is just weird [Detroit Bad Boys]
Artest To Interview Brawl Instigator? [Sac Bee]

Radar showcased some of the more preposterous acts of personal servitude some of these professional hangers-on have subject themselves to and, not surprisingly, Ron Artest's requests are extremely demanding and imbecilic.

Crazy Sacramento Kings forward Ron Artest has a paid personal assistant who "fields late-night requests for organic cookies" and is developing Artest's line of athletic wear. The assistant was also (seriously) recently asked to "remove what Mr. Artest thought were giant snake eggs in his backyard." (They turned out to be mushrooms.)

You can almost smell the insanity, can't you? Although, "Giant snake eggs in his backyard" seems like it would be a perfect lyrical refrain from Junta-era Phish. (Ed. Note: Please no Phish references on Deadspin. Thank you.)

We'd Just Like To Remind You That Ron Artest Is Batshit Insane [Hardwood Paroxysm]

Mules And Bulls Are Not Friends [Part Mule]

Yeah, apparently Stern's had enough of gunshots and domestic violence. (And haven't we all?)

Jackson of the Golden State Warriors pleaded guilty last month to a felony count of criminal recklessness for firing a gun outside an Indiana strip club last fall, when he was with the Pacers. He was ordered to pay a $5,000 fine and perform 100 hours of community service.

Artest of the Sacramento Kings pleaded no contest in May to a misdemeanor domestic violence charge stemming from a March 5 dispute with his wife, the latest in a string of off-court problems.

And another thing: Why would you ever want Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson off at the same time? Isn't that just asking for more trouble? You gotta stagger that shit, Stern.

NBA Suspends Artest, Jackson For First 7 Games Of Next Season [Yahoo!]

Hey, why not? Robert Traylor played for a while. DC Sports Bog's Dan Steinberg digs into the soul and navel of the tubby sibling.

"They want me to be a guard, but I like playing like Barkley," he told me. "I'm fast enough to be a guard. Whenever I get the opportunity to play, you're gonna see how I play. I can jump and everything. I can hit the NBA three. I've been working on my whole game. We've been doing this for months. A lot of running, shooting drills. We'll shoot like 600 shots a day, every day, then we'll come back at nighttime and shoot up another two or three hundred more. I push [Ron] and he pushes me."

You know what? We want him to be a guard too. Desperately.

The NBA's Second Artest [DC Sports Bog]

The call that the woman — and police are insistent on not giving out the name of the woman or her "relationship" to Artest, even though the cops have been to their house five times since August — made is largely scrambled and bewildering, with the woman making references to events that she assumes the 911 operator knows about. (She seems to have initially called 911 to complain that Artest is taking her car.) You can hear the call right here. We always feel for the 911 operator when we hear "celebrity" calls like this; they never know when they're gonna take a call that ends up with their voice on the news. Though we suppose we feel for the lady being slapped a bit more.

Artest 911 Call [CBS-13]

Placer County Sheriff's deputies have arrested Sacramento Kings' Ron Artest on domestic violence charges.

Deputies say they got a call from Artest's wife at 9:23 a.m. this morning. Deputies responded and arrested Artest. He was taken to the Placer County jail in Auburn. He's being charged with domestic violence and using force to prevent a victim from reporting a crime.

There's a press conference at 4 p.m. CT that should have all kinds of fun details, if "fun" is the word you want to use here. Considering it's Artest, we're going to assume he brought out the ole "You Can Suck My Balls" insult. That's destined to cause trouble, we hear.

Ron Artest Arrested [CBS13]
Five Little Words That Started It All [Deadspin]

With the NBA's trading deadline passed, Ron Artest finally felt it was safe to have his love for the Kings proclaimed boldly on the back of his head. He debuted the new look in last night's win over the Lakers.

I'm guessing that the Kings are okay with the style. Not only does it show his team spirit, but if he had to spend two hours sitting in a chair while having that done, then that's two hours he didn't spend ripping someone's face off.

I look forward to Artest getting bolder and bolder with these back-of-the-noggin proclamations as his career goes on. Right now, it's "Kings," but in time, I expect to see, "I Love Weed," "Socks Hasn't Eaten In A Week," and then all the lyrics from his "My World" album.

Artest makes name for himself in win vs. Lakers [MSNBC]

We understand that the mohawk is making a comeback — we guess — but now that Ron Artest has one, well, we're not really sure how to handle it. Some have said he looks like Mr. T, but, frankly, in this light, we think Grace Jones is the best parallel. And, in the grand scheme of things, that kind of makes sense. Yikes.

Ron Artest's Mohawk [Inside Hoops]

First, John Green, the fan who punched Artest and struck him with the cup, has been told that he has been forever banned from Pistons home games. Hey, it only took two years. But more on that in a minute. Now, the real news.

According to The Smoking Gun, we now know what really ignited the melee; Artest said something to Detroit's Ben Wallace, just before Green launched his beer cup. The statement is from Matt Dobek, Pistons VP of public relations, who was present at the game:

I was sitting at the corner of the court by the Pistons bench, holding coach Brown's crutches. I observed Artest laying on top of the scorer's table, and heard Artest tell Ben Wallace "You can suck my balls." ... Dobek concluded by saying "I thought someone might get killed."

Green, 41, of West Bloomfield, Mich., recently received a letter from the Pistons banishing him from The Palace, and threatening arrest if he ever does show up there. From USA Today:

Green says he'd apologize to Artest in person and buy him dinner if the Sacramento Kings star would lift a restraining order against him. As for the banishment letter, Green says he'll try to sell it on eBay.

And they all lived happily, ever after. As long as nobody told anyone to suck their balls.

Fan Who Threw Cup Is Banned For Life [IndyStar.com]
Words Sparked Malice At The Palace [The Smoking Gun]

Anyway, Artest's album gets the SLAM review treatment, and they recount some of the great moments. HIghlights include:

• He talks about how he used to hit the liquor store at halftime of games. Which we totally understand.
• He says Matt Lauer "talks like a girl."
• There's a skit where Artest hosts a conference at the United Nations.
• Actual line: "I don't think I'm insane / I think the world is crazy."

Damn straight, Ron. DAMN STRAIGHT.

Music Review: Ron Artest's "My World" [SLAM Online]

How do we know? He's playing the Assembly Hall in Champaign, Illinois, home of our Fighting Illini! (And our graduation proceedings in 1997; our speaker was Diane Sawyer!) OK, so he's actually opening for Ludacris — star of the Oscar-winning, and SO COMPELLING Crash! — and Yung Joc, and it's this Friday, tickets still available. It's Ron Artest, in the home of REO Speedwagon. What more could you want?

But for heaven's sake, don't throw water on him.

Ron Artest At Assembly Hall [Assembly Hall]

Aside from the fact that we're surprised there is such as thing as a "Judge Mathis Community Center," we're also astonished that Artest is talking to kids without an NBA representative, or David Stern himself, standing within arm's length ready with a sock and some masking tape.

Exactly How Is The Community Served When Ron Artest Talks to Children? [TrueHoop]

[Bonzi] called me last week. I told him if he leaves, then I'm going to kill him. Unless he wants to die, he's got to stay (with the Kings).

Uh, yeah, so ... um, OK.

Artest Hits The Road And The Hardwood [Sacramento Bee]

• Dennis Rodman hangs out in the same strip clubs as John Elway. Also, Dennis carries garbage bags full of cash into strip clubs with him. At least, so says the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

• No blog has covered the AT&T Pebble Peach Pro-Am as thoroughly as The Sports Frog. Get your Clambake coverage here.

• Ron Artest, probably not helping his chances of being selected to the '08 Olympic basketball team, calls team boss Jerry Colangelo "Collangelina." He also believes he's a little bit too hood for the Olympics.

• There's no better way to get to know some Winter Olympians than listening to their interviews on Sports Bloggers Live. Snowboarders Shaun White and Hannah Teter are impossible to dislike.

• Ray Lewis may want out of Baltimore. The mayor of Baltimore, sensing an opportunity to lower the city's crime rate, endorses the move.

We have to say, all told, we think it would be funny if, in his very first game, Artest went crazy and ran in the stands and started punching people. Honestly, how great would that be?

The American Invasion [Sactown Royalty]

The trade that almost wasn't and finally is — Artest to the Kings for Peja Stojakovic — has seemingly delighted both NBA communities. Kings fans are loving the prospect of Artest in purple (not being able to wait for the real thing, they've already begun photoshopping). And they love being rid of Stojakovic. And this joy is only exceeded by that of Pacers fans, who are dancing in the their respective streets over being rid of Artest. Witness the evidence:

• "I can't think of a better Effing day. We have defense. We have a crazy bastard. We cant get any worse." —Joethecrow, Kings Talk Forum
• "I (HEART) Artest already." — Domesik, Kings Talk Forum
• "The team was hopeless. Ron represents hope. (Artest's debut) will maybe be the most noise of the year because people have been starved for something to get excited about." — Francisco, Kings Fans Forum
• "Artest has been made out to be a crazy liability, but I still like this move. If you hate Ron Artest, all the more power to you. I know lots of people with tempers. Relax Kings fans, it's all good." — It's Good to be the Kings
• "Ron Artest has been a cancer in this organization from the very beginning. This team, and possibly even the world, has revolved around Ron Artest long enough!" — Gisele in Indianapolis. Pacers.com
• "yup we get the better deal... I am glad this trade happened." Drain-O Real GM Pacers Forum
• "I am a transplanted Pacers fan and we are so happy to be rid of him. Ron Artest was a cancer to the Pacers organization. He is the Terrell Owens of the NBA." — caller on KNBR-680 radio San Francisco.

Well, someone is right, and someone is going to be proven a poor, tragic dope — probably within a week or so, if we must guess. But until then, can't we all just pull on our cozy, warm Mr. Rogers sweaters and enjoy the love?

Go Sell Crazy Someplace Else [Deadspin]

We always gave him a little Manny Ramirez-esque, he's-a-flake-whaddya-gonna-do? leeway, but after he turned down a trade to Sacramento yesterday simply because he "must also ensure that his family is happy and content as well," we don't think it's so cute anymore. In fact, it's just kind of depressing: For all the "he's just a sweet, confused kid" prattle over the last year, at the end of the day, Artest is just one more guy complaining about how he has to feed his family. (Apparently the rap community in Sacramento is lacking.)

He has essentially become Terrell Owens ... except occassionally he jumps into the stands and starts beating up fans. He'll probably end up in Sacramento, where in a year he'll stuff a cowbell up some poor bastard's can after a tough loss to the Blazers, and we'll jump through all these hoops one more goddamned time.

King Of Sacramento [The Mighty MJD]
Ron Artest And Queen [J.E. Skeets]

(By the way, who unpacked Jim Gray? Every time he pops up somewhere, like he did in "breaking" this story, we think he was just woken up from a months-long slumber, wiped his eyes and starts making bleary phone calls denying trade rumors. And isn't he employed by, like, six different networks right now? How does that work again?)

"It's like saying, 'Magic, should your wife give you another chance? He's saying Ron Artest should have no more second chances. What's worse — me saying I want to be traded or you cheating on your wife?"

Yeah, we're not gonna touch this one.

Touche [The Airing Of Grievances]
Ron Artest Is Freestyling A Bit On Magic Johnson [YAYSports!]
Artest: All-Team Indecisive Motherfucka! [J.E. Skeets]

Nope, Artest says he has to get out of town, saying the team is better off without him. Predictably, he says he wants to play for the Knicks, not just because he's from the NYC area, but also because, jeez, do you know how tough it is to find a good restaurant in Indianapolis? Trust us, it's tough.

We support Artest's growing hilarity, and the only aspect of this that bothers us is that, eventually, NBA execs are going to get so tired of Artest that he'll be out of the league entirely. And that will be a very sad day.

O'Neal Upset With Artest [Indianapolis Star]
Artest: Trade Me To Knicks [NY Daily News]
Freestyle With Ron Artest And He'll Be Your Best Friend [Deadspin]

Would it matter? I'm sorry, Ron, but no matter what city you're in... crazy is crazy. The Pacers are a stable organization with good guys in place, and you can't fit in there? And instead, you want to be shipped to a team with a disciplinarian head coach, a selfish shoot-first point guard (two of them, in fact), a moody center with George Wendt's heart and a fanbase with a propensity to boo? Who's helping you make career decisions, Ron? Did you hire Drew Rosenhaus?

More on this in the coming days, I'm sure.

You can see it better at their site, and we highly recommend you do.

It Is One Year Anniversary Of Dark Day [Wizznutzz]

I m feastin again, you think I won t make it, I m gonna grab the whole rap game and bend it and break it;

Because its hip-hop, yeah, raw and uncut, pores smell like residue from sticky icky stuff, slip some Mickey in my cup;

Get pound out quick, roundhouse kicks, blood on your nice kicks, its hard for me to shoot bricks, easy to shoot pricks, flow got a high kick;

Just like Bruce, kid, maybe Chuck Norris, record sales taken off like flights departin', and you just survivin' cause your songs is garbage..."

The best part about this? We can't figure out whom he's trashing in his rap. We like to think it was one of the other sports blogger radio people. We imagine them sitting there, nodding along, and then being like, "Uh, Ron, sir, we just type for a living. Our 'songs' ... hey, 'garbage,' that's not nice!"

Well worth a listen.

Ron Artest On Sports Bloggers Live [Mr. Irrelevant]

In the early '90s, back before Michael Jordan retired, forward Horace Grant was a key part of the Bulls first three championship teams. One day, he was hanging around the offices of Cheri magazine — just chilling out, you know — when a photographer asked him if he wanted to be a part of a photo shoot. Grant, using outstanding judgment, ended up in a spread with two women hanging from his neck by their feet, nude. His quote when asked about it was — and we're paraphrasing — "yeah, I'd forgotten I'd done that." Most shocking part about the photos: He wasn't wearing his goggles.

Artest Shocks In Penthouse [ESPN]

(Full disclosure: We wrote a story about the NFL in the September issue of Penthouse. There were no naked women hanging from our necks.)

The lead candidate, of course, is 76ers guard and Stephen A. Smith pal Allen Iverson, at 2/5. Other likelys include Raja Bell, Kevin Garnett, Mike Bibby, Rasheed Wallace, Ron Artest (of course) and the pictured Marcus Camby. The longest odds are for Josh Childress and the inexplicably included Antonio Davis.

We would probably go with Greg Ostertag, ourselves.

Who's Gonna Suffer For Their Bling? [Oddjack]

"I'm going to still be playing hard, out of control, just wild, like an animal. I'll need to be caged in. I'll let the referees handle it."

Ha. What could possibly go wrong? Artest goes on to explain that he's actually excited for all the questions he'll be asked about last year's "incident," because it will allow him to promote his rap label, True Warrior. We're reminded of last year's Eastern Conference semifinals, when, after the Pistons beat the Artest-less Pacers, Artest waited until the Pistons bus was leaving and then took off his shirt, beat his chest and walked away, barefoot. We swear, someday he's going to eat a referee.

Artest To Play Like "An Animal" [Newark Star-Ledger]
Artest Still Crazy [Deadspin]

The fan involved in the incident, Bryant Jackson (who we swear was once on our fantasy football team), received two months probation earlier this year. So that's settled, which means we can go back to making sure that teenager who jumped on the netting at Yankee Stadium this year gets the electric chair.

Artest, O'Neal, Jackson Plead No Contest In Palace Brawl [Detroit Free Press]

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eVIPList.com [Official Site]

According to Pistons players on the bus, Artest was wearing an old (and short) pair of shorts. He had no shoes on and, upon getting out of the vehicle, he tore off his T-shirt. Given the history between Artest and the Pistons, the team's security officials were on high alert. But Artest made no motion toward the bus. He simply walked, bare-chested and bare-footed, into the building, presumably for a midnight workout.

Ben Wallace, who mercifully did not shove Artest during the incident, told the paper, "There's something going on there." Yeah. He's still promoting his rap album!

Weird Scene [Detroit News]