But it's people like him that are targeted by The Phoenix in this, their list of the 100 Unsexiest Men in America. It's littered with names from the sports world, including Curt Schilling, John Kruk, George Steinbrenner, Tony Kornheiser, and the afore-mentioned Ronaldinho.

55. Ronaldinho. The world's greatest soccer player is so ugly, even his action figure has buck teeth. Kissing him must be like getting kicked in the face by a donkey.

Goodness.

I hope the people included wouldn't take it too seriously. I know women willing to do at least two of the people listed here, Colin Meloy and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Not at the same time. I don't think.

Myself, I really don't care a lot about the sexy quotient of people like SportsCenter anchors, and I wouldn't care if Chris Berman (who did make the list) spontaneously grew 9 fungus-ridden big toes out of his forehead, if he agreed to not ruin this year's NFL Draft by tipping off every pick before it happens, we could be best friends.

The 100 Unsexiest Men 2007 [The Phoenix]
The Ugly Truth [Foul Balls]

This is pretty much what you think it is: A "full-size" sculpture of Brazilian soccer star Ronaldinho ... as a regal white horse. It's currently up for bid on eBay, and the price is right too: Only $25,000! (With $2,500 more to ship.)

Not a bad deal. This seems as good a time as any for a "grow, hoof, grow."

Ronaldinio, football star, sculptured as a white horse [eBay]

Remember Ronaldinho's girlfriend? The one who supposedly kept him up all night with sex and PlayStation? Robertson's little investigation casts serious doubts about whether she's anything but a PR creation.

She picked the wrong Playboy editor to punk, I tell you what. There's no competent news story I can find tying Ronaldinho to Alexandra Paressant. (The Sun doesn't say how its interview with her came about — she probably just called the paper up and asked to talk to a reporter.) Some sites show a picture of Ronaldinho being lovingly tackled by her as he stretches on the pitch. Problem: The tackler's name is Sheila Soares. Ronaldinho or not, does she even exist? I say no.

Another example of how soccer has not exploded in the United States: We do not invent fake girlfriends for our soccer stars. Instead we just do that for Tom Brady.

Ronaldinho's Imaginary Girlfriend [Josh, Editor, MySpace]
Well Worth Losing The World Cup [Deadspin]

British tabloid The Sun says that Ronaldinho's poor showing was due to some off-field lovefests and plenty of PlayStation 2. In an interview with his girlfriend, French model Alexandra Paressant, the femme says that the soccer star would break team rules and sneak into her hotel room to "make love all night" and unwind by playing 2006 FIFA World Cup on the PlayStation 2. The Star implies that it wasn't the marathon sex sessions that left him worn out for competition. "Instead, [Paressant] says, his habit of playing PlayStation after their romps may have knocked his form."

All told, this is not a terrible reason to play poorly in the World Cup. Sex with a French model, followed by all-night PlayStation. It's just like college, if you replace "French model" with "pillow and/or various visions of character actress Margaret Colin." But perhaps we've said too much.

Sex, PS2 Blamed For Brazil Star's WC Failure [GameSpot]