Karim Benzema's Gorgeous Pass To Ronaldo Helps Tie Up El Clasico 1-1

Karim Benzema's tiny little flick to Ronaldo is a thing of beauty because it's the kind of devilish move that makes soccer special. At first glance, it's just another back-heel. Then Ronaldo comes charging down the pitch with nothing but green and a goalkeeper in front of him and you realize, oh my God, that play was… » 3/22/15 5:06pm 3/22/15 5:06pm

How U.S. Soccer Ensures The Fort Lauderdale Strikers Never Get A Chance

Last year, the Fort Lauderdale Strikers were purchased by a Brazilian consortium looking to turn the team into a "global powerhouse." Some of their bandied-about strategies for ginning up fan interest include drone-delivered concessions at the stadium, piggy backing off the club's history from the NASL's heyday to… » 1/16/15 11:23am 1/16/15 11:23am

Fat Ronaldo May Be Fat, But He Can Still Jump Really High

While it's perhaps a little surprising that a man can exercise, as Fat/Real Ronaldo is depicted doing in the Vine below, and maintain a gut like that, it isn't a shock to see that one of the greatest players ever still has enough hops to clear 113cm with a standing jump: » 11/14/14 3:10pm 11/14/14 3:10pm

The Non Sports Fan's Guide to Today's Crucial US-Portugal Match

Hello, non sports fan. It's me again, your loyal tour guide to the World Cup. First I walked you through the broad strokes of the tournament, then we cracked open our school books, and now I want to let you in on a little secret: today is a very big day. » 6/22/14 3:41pm 6/22/14 3:41pm

Fat Ronaldo Goes To Ibiza

There was a reason he was given the cognomen "fat" even during his playing days. Finally retired in February, Ronaldo took his little yellow bathing suit to Ibiza, presumably for the house and trance clubs. We wonder now if we shouldn't have labeled this NSFW. » 7/29/11 12:30pm 7/29/11 12:30pm

Ronaldo Wore Diapers? Sure, Why Not.

The recently-retired legend wasn't always Fat Ronaldo. Way back in 1999, he was simply struggling-with-his-weight Ronaldo, allegedly taking diet pills that forced him to wear adult diapers during games. » 2/21/11 3:35pm 2/21/11 3:35pm

The Real Ronaldo Decides To Call It A Day

The Spoiler was just a whipper-snapper when Ronaldo first came to our attention and he absolutely blew our tiny little mind. He was unbelievably strong, quick and skilful — he's what Jonah Lomu could've been if he'd not lived in New Zealand and made the right life choices. » 2/14/11 7:25pm 2/14/11 7:25pm

A Zany Video Of Fat Ronaldo Throughout The Years

Here at The Spoiler technology is king. So, as you can probably imagine, there are nifty little gadgets and terrifying gizmos all over the place. Even so, it was with a sharp intake of breath that the above video was first witnessed. » 5/20/10 2:50pm 5/20/10 2:50pm

World-Class Athlete Requires Liposuction To Stay Fit

Aging Brazilian legend Ronaldo went to the hospital for a broken wrist and had doctors throw a liposuction on the bill. How do you expect a guy to work out when he's busy playing all that soccer? [The Spoiler] » 7/30/09 11:20am 7/30/09 11:20am

British Soccer: Like A Sunny, Fun Day At Disneyland

So which is more distasteful, sports fans?: Mocking plane crash victims, or wishing someone dead from a car wreck? Don't worry, it's British soccer. You can have both! » 1/13/09 11:00am 1/13/09 11:00am

Ronaldo's Big Tranny Adventure; The Next Day

So here's a photo of one of the "ladies" who had a run-in with AC Milan soccer star Ronaldo on Monday. Not a bad effort I suppose, but I wouldn't need the entire running time of The Crying Game to guess this secret, would you? New details of the magical evening have emerged, so after you have made the Ann Coulter joke… » 4/30/08 1:15pm 4/30/08 1:15pm

Ronaldo Plays The Crying Game

In soccer there is only one thing more humiliating than an own goal; it's when you pick up three prostitutes and later discover that they're all transvestites. (I can see you nodding in agreement). Poor Ronaldo. Not only did he receive "the Brazilian Surprise," but then when he tried to bribe the faux ladies into… » 4/29/08 1:35pm 4/29/08 1:35pm