While giving a statement at a court case involving his cocaine-addicted son, Edinho (ed. note: does Edinho go by a last name?), the living legend expressed disappointment with the public perception of drug use in soccer. Actually, according to Brazilian radio station Jovem Pan, what he said was, "[i]t is unfair to talk about drugs in football because of just one or two cases, like Ronaldo and Robinho, who have that problem." Ouch!

Pele also took a swipe at ol' rival Diego Maradona, calling him a "negative example" and saying "[h]e was an excellent player, but unfortunately everyone can see what he has done with his life." Maradona is currently coaching Argentina's national team. Apparently, in South America, that's one step removed from hanging out in truck stop bathroom stalls performing sex acts for a couple of real.

Pele Claims Ronaldo And Robinho Took Drugs [Goal.com]

John Lawless, a lower league player from Merseyside in England, invented a unique way of taunting rival FC United of Manchester.

While taking a corner at the end of the ground in which most of the 2,122 spectators were gathered, Mr. Lawless was seen to wave his arms to make an airplane gesture in an apparent reference to the Munich air disaster of 1958. The crash killed eight players from Manchester United. Three Manchester United staff and eight journalists also died. Mr Lawless’s taunt led to uproar in the stadium and stewards had to prevent several fans from going onto the pitch.”

Lawless got a "police warning," whatever that means. Meanwhile, in Premier League play, Chelsea fans — there's a couple of them pictured above — showed their support for Manchester United star Ronaldo:

Ronaldo really enjoyed that one. He was abused during the game by Chelsea fans who sickeningly chanted "You should have died in the tunnel" — a reference to him writing off his $200,000 Ferrari on the way to training last week.

Oh, and John Lawless is a wanker, apparently.

Man United 3, Chelsea 0 [The Sun]
Footballer Taunts Fans With Munich Air Disaster Mime [Anorak]
Merseyside Footballer In Trouble After Alleged Munich Air Disaster Taunt [Big Soccer]

The motel manager — identified only as Luisa — said Ronaldo, who was dressed and appeared to be sober, tried to get rid of the prostitutes after realizing they were men. She told police Ronaldo offered the prostitutes $600 to end the incident but they would not accept dollars. The manager then converted the money into reals for Ronaldo, but before he made the payment one prostitute asked for 50,000 reals ($30,000) to keep the story from the media, according to the police document. A motel waiter, who was not identified in the police documents, told police the prostitute went to the street and yelled "the Phenomenon didn't want to pay."

Apparently cleared of any wrongdoing by Rio police — prostitution is not only legal in Brazil, it's encouraged! — Ronaldo is in hiding at the moment, trying to rehab a knee injury. All of this has baffled his fans, as you might imagine.

"It's really a soap opera," said 48-year-old Luiz Mendes, a private chauffeur. "Ronaldo has money to fill mattresses. He can afford the best and most beautiful women in the world. Why would he want to go out with these (prostitutes)."

Hmm, I wonder what word he actually used there.

In the interests of full disclosure, I once danced with a transvestite at a showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show in San Diego 1999. I'm telling you now because Costas would have dragged it out of me eventually anyway.

Ronaldo Plays The Crying Game [Deadspin]
Ronaldo In Hiding After Cross-Dressing Prostitutes Incident [Associated Press]

The transvestites are accusing Ronaldo of threatening to harm them if they talked, and Ronaldo is accusing them of extortion. Eddie Murphy and Oscar De La Hoya are right now jetting to Rio to serve as character witnesses.

"I have to check both sides of the story, the transvestites' version and Ronaldo's," Carlos Augusto Nogueira, chief of the police precinct investigating the incident, told a news conference. "Ronaldo said he is not good in the head and that he is going through psychological problems because of his recent surgery," he said.

Is it customary in Brazil to call a press conference for all potential crimes involving transvestites? Because it seems to me that that's all that they would be doing each day.

Police Probe Renaldo-Transvestite Incident [Mirror UK]
Ronaldo Questioned After Transvestite Mixup [MSNBC]