Royal Wedding Wins Race

Hours after simpleton Middleton and doubly-crowned Prince William wed today, a horse named Royal Wedding won the 5.30 steeplechase at Fontwell, Sussex by three lengths. If this was fixed, it was at a great cost: bookies are predicting a multi-million pound payout, because everyone the world over believes in the power…

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Of Pomp And Circumstance

Look, I know you're sick of this, but I think it's worth noting even for the millionth time just what kind of big, dumb spectacle we all watched slackjawed on our stupid televisions: an overhyped and overproduced orgy of excess and inexplicable weeping presided over by a pious relic that perpetuates a bizarrely…