Shabtai Kalmanovich, one of Prokhorov's partners in post-Soviet billionaire sports owner crime, was murdered on Monday. Kalmanovich is the owner of the Spartak Moscow women's basketball team that is famous for shelling out big bucks to sign WNBA stars like Lauren Jackson, Sue Bird, and Diana Taurasi. He was also gunned down on the streets of Moscow when another car pulled up alongside his and opened fire. Yeah, not exactly a random act of violence.

Police say they believe that the murder could be linked to Kalmanovich's business activities, and maybe even "his prominent role in Russian basketball." So that must make people like Prokhorov feel really safe and secure. The NBA too. It sure won't make David Stern comfortable imagining one of his owners getting blown away outside the Meadowlands. (Of course, if it happened at the Meadowlands there's a chance no one would notice.) Maybe he's trying to buy the Nets not to bring NBA "technology" to his homeland, but so he can get the hell out of dodge.

Personally, I'm shocked to learn that running a business in the former Soviet Republics could be so dangerous! Or ... here's another theory. Kalmanovich is also a former KGB spy who spent time in an Israeli prison for espionage. I'm not an expert on the post-Cold War politics of Eastern European spy networks, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say his brazen gangland murder might be related to that.

Spartak Moscow owner Shabtai Kalmanovitch assassinated [Women Talk Sports]
Ex-Shin Bet, KGB double agent shot dead in Moscow [Haaretz]
Ex-spy Kalmanovich to be buried in Israel [YnetNews]
Russian spy-turned-tycoon gunned down [The Age]

The whore-loving nickel salesman initially laughed off the rumors that he was being courted to invest in the soon-to-be Brooklyn Nets, but then admitted that he had indeed been approached to become a "shareholder" of the team. He did have a counter-proposal, however. It was: "Why don't you just give me all the shares and get out of my way?"

Oh, and he posted the offer on this blog. Eat your heart out, Mark Cuban!

For our group, participation in such a complex project undoubtedly is interesting only in the event that NBA technology can be used for the systematic development of basketball in Russia. ... We need to change the model of basketball development in Russia with the aid of super modern systems of training sportsmen (this is the innovative model). The basis for development should be a strong student basketball league beginning in children's sports schools. We'll get to work on this, if we realize this deal.

Over the weekend, I sent the "New Jersey" shareholders a counter proposal about our involvement in the project with an emphasis on Russian interests:

1. Commercial conditions:

* "ONEKSIM" provides financing for the construction of the new arena in Brooklyn guaranteed by a significant share in the project.
* a controlling shareholder interest in the "New Jersey" team will be transferred to the group for a symbolic price.
* as part of this deal, the group will attract correspondent financing in Western banks (I consider that if this works out, the deal would be just unique!).

2. Qualitative conditions:

* Russia would achieve a position of equality among the elites of world basketball.
* access to all modern technology and training methods with the possibility of using them in Russia.
* apprenticeships for leading Russian trainers and managers in the NBA.
* the ability to send our best students to NBA training camps.

In other words, all your Nets are belong to us. He'll build your little NBA arena, but then fill it with Russian supermen who will do his bidding. There's no rule that says an NBA team can't be owned by foreigners—or anyone crazier than Cuban—so if David Stern hasn't forgotten about his "NBA is a global game" fantasy, he might be all for it. Nine billion dollars buys you a lot of WNBA jerseys!

The only question that remains is what would be the best "symbolic price" for someone purchasing the New Jersey Nets? How about a picture of Vince Carter autographed by Kerry Kittles?

Prokhorov Issues Absurd Statement on the Nets and Atlantic Yards, No Matter How Well Translated [DDDB.net]
Russian billionaire might buy, move Nets to Brooklyn [Newsday]
Russian Tycoon Moves Closer to Netting Nets [Wall Street Journal]

UPDATE: It looks the Nets have accepted the deal. So welcome to the NBA Crazy Rich Russian Guy! [ESPN]

Obviously there's no way of being absolutely sure about what is actually going on here, but when you add it to reports of lawyers and bad drug tests you can probably go ahead and jump to some conclusions. Also, the photos were sent to his family with the file names "addiction" and "addiction2," so it probably wasn't vitamins.

On the other hand, this whole story assumes that Yahoo's Russian-to-English translator works properly. ("We see on two others how someone carries out the unestablished procedure. I sent to their inspectors with the request to introduce to the materials of the matter", he said amphitheatres.") Heck, he could be giving bone marrow to sick children for all we know. But he probably wasn't. And he's probably not the only Russian hockey player who has spent quality time in that bed.

Адвокат Черепановых попросил приобщить к делу фото [AllHockey; Translated from Russian]]

Russian high jumper accused of jumping under the influence of red bull and vodka [FanHouse]

After Russia's win over the Netherlands in Euro 08 over the weekend, their fans were really going nuts.

Moscow is naked, drunk, all covered in broken glass; figures “3″ and “1″ have been [snatched away] from all currency exchange displays […].

[…]

[Tverskaya St.] is cordoned off, girls are lying on car hoods and roofs, people are attacking empty garbage and dump trucks, getting inside, beating on them, screaming; all guys are naked, some of them have beautiful bodies; girls at the sidewalks take their t-shirts off and walk around topless; everyone is impossibly happy, carrying each other on the shoulders, kissing, running to hug with strangers and drivers of the cars passing by; nothing like this has ever happened before, traffic rules are gone to hell, a road hysteria has begun.

Heavens! We are very pleased this didn't happen when the Cardinals won the World Series.

Russia Football Revolution [Global Voices Online]