Deadspin: ryan freel

Farney Apparently Has An Email Account

Leitch — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 15:45:44 EST

Because there's nothing more ethically sound than quoting a freaking Craig's List ad and extrapolating it out to connote normal human activity — and little more fun! — The Big Lead thinks Ryan Freel might be having a little Craig's List morning fun.

Time Before Baseball Practice
"I am here for two months before i head back up north. I have this morning before practice.....looking for a woman to enjoy the morning with. Can be married or single, disease free is important. I am 5 9 180 short hair and blue eyes, in shape, of course."

Doing the math, they've decided it's Reds utilityman Ryan Freel ... or Farney, anyway. Allotting for the fact that it could have been anyone, you, us, Howard K. Stern, who put that ad up there, we agree with Freel, or whoever the anonymous poster is: Disease free is important.

Baseball Player Takes To Craigslist Seeking Early-Morning Sex Romp To Ease Spring Training Tension [The Big Lead]
Ryan Freel's Little Friend [Deadspin]

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Chris Berman Vs. Farney

Leitch — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:00:14 EST

All right, after some wild voting irregularities yesterday — remember: The Deadspin way is not to raise too much issue with people cheering on their favorites in a poll on a silly blog — we have what we'd think would be a blowout today. But you never know: Someday a No. 16 WILL beat a No. 1. Probably not today, though.

By the way, voting for the first round will close the day after the final first-round matchup, in case you were wondering. So there's still time to vote if you haven't already.

But first, today's apparent mismatch: It's No. 1 seed Chris Berman taking on Farney, the imaginary friend of Cincinnati Reds utilityman Ryan Freel.

Let's go to the videotape!

No. 1 Seed: Chris Berman
2006 Highlights
Changed the way you thought about pickup lines.
United Tony Kornheiser, Keith Olbermann, TRL, prime-time NBC programs and an awesome teenager who's "stupid, just stupid."
Spawned the first piece of Deadspin clothing.

No. 16 Seed: Farney
2006 Highlights
Advised his "friend" Ryan Freel to throw himself into walls.

So, go vote: Who advances to the Elite Eight?

Ryan Freel's Little Friend

Leitch — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 12:15:05 EDT

As we deal with the psychological ramifications of last night's backbreaking Cardinals walkoff loss to the Reds, and try to inspire ourselves to watch another game this afternoon, we turn our attention to Reds outfielder/infielder/drunken driver/scrappy hustler Ryan Freel. He's the Pete Rose-type of player that Reds fans adore, diving around and generally launching himself into solid objects that are unlikely to give way. His catch on Albert Pujols' drive to right field the other evening might have turned the whole series around. He's got a chance to be a hero there.

He also, apparently, is batshit crazy.

Ryan Freel said not even Farney believed that Freel made the stupendous diving catch on Albert Pujols Tuesday.

Farney? Who's Farney?

"He's a little guy who lives in my head who talks to me and I talk to him," said Freel, acting as if he finally crashed into too many walls, ran into too many catchers and dived into too many dugouts. "That little midget in my head said, 'That was a great catch, Ryan,' I said, 'Hey, Farney, I don't know if that was you who really caught that ball, but that was pretty good if it was.' Everybody thinks I talk to myself, so I tell 'em I'm talking to Farney.' "

OOOOOOO-kay then ....

Fantastic Catch Earns Rave Reviews [Dayton Daily News]
Hrumph... [Cardinals Diaspora]