On the off chance you thought a new day had dawned, here's some bad news: umpires are still assholes sometimes.
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)
Home plate umpire Sam Holbrook ejected veteran Blue Jays infielder Omar Vizquel from tonight's Texas-Toronto game for arguing balls and strikes. That's a big no-no in the umps-rule-all majors, of course, but tonight's twist is that Vizquel wasn't even in the game at the time; Holbrook took offense to Vizquel's…