Poor Jack Sock. The tennis gladiator named after the bravest piece of laundry in the mid-hamper has succumbed to Nicolás Almagro in the third round of the US Open. Sock's sacking was hardly surprising. After all, Almagro was the tournament's 11-seed. Sock, meanwhile, was unseeded. No shame there.

Chad Ochocinco — né Johnson, he of no further introduction — and Justin Gimelstob, he of middling tennis stature, have more in common than what hits the eye. Actually, they really don't. But they both... like Twitter?