samuel-etoo - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There Were So Many Goals In Today's Everton-Chelsea Match Alright, Chelsea beat Everton by three goals today—two of which it took them all of three minutes into the match to score—but that doesn't even begin to state how insane this game was. There were nine goals! There could've been three more! There was a Tim Howard head butt!...

Cameroon Are A Mess, And Samuel Eto'o May Be Abandoning ShipIn 2010, in South Africa, the French famously refused to get off the bus. Four years later, Cameroon refused to get on the plane to Brazil. ...

Elderly Samuel Eto'o Bashes Mourinho, Plans To Play As <em>Actual</em> Old ManSamuel Eto'o is in the Ivory Coast today in support of the Copa Coca Cola, an international youth tournament. In an interview before the event, he had some choice words for the "fool" José Mourinho and anyone else who wants to fuck with Hollywood Court....

Sad Manchester United Allow Elderly Samuel Eto'o To Score Hat Trick

No one would have imagined this before the season started: Chelsea demolishes Manchester United 3-1, and the only remotely surprising thing is that Samuel Eto'o—a thousand years old, a chronic misfirer—was the man who knocked in the goals. And yet that's how it is....

Chelsea Score When Samuel Eto'o Steals The Ball Out Of Keeper's Hands

C'mon, son....

The Russian Backwater Samuel Eto'o Now Plays Soccer In Is Too Dangerous For Samuel Eto'o To Live In

Last month, Samuel Eto'o did something very curious and very venal and signed with Anzhi, an obscure team in Russia owned by a rich oil man. Eto'o became the highest paid soccer player in the world ($30 million over three years). But he also has to lace up his boots for Anzhi, which plays in a city ...

Samuel Eto'o Will Leave Inter Milan For Obscure Russian Club (And Billions Of Rubles)

Samuel Eto'o, the 30-year-old Cameroonian soccer player, is leaving the glitz and prestige of Serie A's Inter Milan to play "for an obscure club in the violence-wracked Caucasus region of Dagestan, Russia." From Milan, one of the world's fashion capitals, to Dagestan: the land of the mountains. This...

Samuel Eto'o Saw Wayne Rooney's Excellent Goal And Did The Opposite

Inter Milan's Samuel Eto'o managed to hit the crossbar from about four yards away from the wide-open goal, with just a few moments left in the match. His team trailed Juventus 1-0. That's how it ended....