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Jim Tomsula's Life Has Been Extraordinarily Depressing

You know Jim Tomsula. You just do. He’s the guy with life lessons to impart to you from his time as a Fuller Brush salesman, opinions on what makes a particular highway overpass a good sleeping one, recommendations on how to cook with Sterno, and reasons why you should shop at the dented-can store, because the damage… » 7/22/15 3:11pm 7/22/15 3:11pm

Ray McDonald Charged With False Imprisonment, Domestic Violence (Update)

Santa Clara County prosecutors announced today that they have charged Ray McDonald with felony false imprisonment, misdemeanor domestic violence, child endangerment, and violating a court order that he stay away from the victim. If convicted, the Santa Clara District Attorney’s office says the former San Francisco… » 7/09/15 4:03pm 7/09/15 4:03pm

We Hopped A Fence And Explored The Ruins Of Candlestick Park

On Saturday, Ryan and a friend sneaked into San Francisco’s Candlestick Park home of the Giants from 1960-1999 and the 49ers from 1971-2013. Demolition began in November of last year, but after opposition from local residents to an implosion, crews began to tear it down manually. That demolition has already taken… » 6/15/15 2:39pm 6/15/15 2:39pm

Ray McDonald Arrested Again, For Allegedly Violating Restraining Order

Former Chicago Bears and San Francisco 49ers defensive end Ray McDonald was arrested this evening by Santa Clara (Calif.) police for violating a restraining order. The restraining order was issued in connection with an incident that occurred two days ago, when McDonald was arrested on misdemeanor domestic violence and… » 5/27/15 10:03pm 5/27/15 10:03pm

The 49ers Want To Turn Youth Soccer Fields Into Parking Lots

The San Francisco 49ers have their shiny new Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, but they want more. (NFL teams are never satisfied and will run over your grandmother with a steamroller if it means just one more square foot of space in their stadium.) The 49ers are offering $15 million for 10 acres of nearby land currently… » 4/21/15 1:52pm 4/21/15 1:52pm

Jim Tomsula Compares 8-8 Season To Sandwich, Might Just Be Kinda Hungry

Frank Gore left the 49ers for the Colts, linebackers Patrick Willis and Chris Borland retired, and another linebacker tore his ACL while working out. New head coach and incredibly quotable man Jim Tomsula is having a rough first offseason so far. In unrelated news, he compared San Francisco's .500 season to a sandwich… » 3/23/15 3:52pm 3/23/15 3:52pm

Retiring From NFL To Juggle Grenades Is A Bad Idea, Says Mike Florio

Bright and promising 24-year-old 49ers linebacker Chris Borland announced his retirement yesterday, after just one season in the NFL. He wants to preserve his neurological and cognitive functioning, and figures a decade of smashing his head into things isn't the best way to do it. Seems reasonable! Might I… » 3/17/15 11:57am 3/17/15 11:57am

Everyone Wants Chris Borland To Mean Something

The San Francisco 49ers' official statement on Chris Borland's retirement doesn't mention why he's retiring, of course. It has a quote from the general manager on how they respect his decision, and a big fat paragraph on his accomplishments in a successful rookie season, but nothing stands out quite like the big,… » 3/17/15 10:56am 3/17/15 10:56am

Promising NFL Rookie Retires Because Of Concerns Over Head Trauma

Despite being a rookie drafted in the third round, linebacker Chris Borland was an important part of the 49ers defense last season, even starting eight games. With Patrick Willis retiring and Justin Smith reportedly considering the same, the 49ers will rely on Borland even more heavily this season. Or, were going… » 3/16/15 10:43pm 3/16/15 10:43pm