But still: It's Spain vs. Saudi Arabia, your other Friday morning matchup. We found little in common between these teams, or their countries, so we're not going to try to stretch a metaphor here.

The beautiful music that is live-blogging is going to come from the ravishing Martha Fischer, one of the top bloggers at Cinematical, an excellent comprehensive movie blog. She's ready to rock, so join her in the comments, and let's light this candle.

——————-
So, that's it. Spain take a half off and still easily beat KSA. They win the group and go through with the lovely Sheva and his Ukrainian teammates. Though KSA leaves with basically nothing, if there's any justice in the world, Mohammed Noor will be given an oil field or 4 when he gets home.

Sorry, readers, not even KSA will distract you any more. If you're on the east coast, lunch break! If not, back to work. Oh, and Prairie Home Companion? Not so much with the worth seeing. Mostly just really disappointing, because it could have been so much better.

Extra time: How on earth has the official gotten 3 minutes of extra time out of this half? Has he lost his whistle? The fans are whistling about the added time, though it's unclear (again) if they're disgusted Spaniards or merciful KSA supporters. Aaaand there's the whistle. Thanks for playing, KSA. Have a good flight home.

Extra time: Here comes Noor, bitches. OH! Al Temyat hits a nice crossing ball from the corner of the box; it's just beyond the reach of the magnificent Noor. That dude has not stopped running for a second, nor is he pausing pout like, say, Nedved likes to do, to make sure we all know just how hard he's trying.

90th minute: Another corner for Spain. Someone is hugging David Villa in the box. So much touching.

89th minute: Noor (who else) takes the ball the Spanish end line and lays it back perfectly for al Harthi, who thanks him by shooting the ball straight up. Noor has every right to mercilessly beat each of his teammates when the game ends. He rocks.

88th minute: Blah blah singing passing blah.

85th minute: The game has deteriorated into a hideous mess. Spain is fouling a lot because they can't be bothered to play, and KSA can't ever do enough with possession to actually threaten goal. Torres gets his shirt pulled in the box, and no one cares, not even him. He's thinking about his hair, and the ladies. Ladies love the giant, semi-dyed mohawk, don't you know.

84th minute: Foul by Noor. Is there an award for busiest player of the tournament?

82nd minute: Dangerous free kick from Massad's foul. It's one of those scary, untouched free kicks that turns into fairly impressive save because the keep is waiting for it to be redirected. Blondie slid over the endline making the save, but he's saved from giving up a corner by a phantom foul somewhere.

81st minute: As punishment for the crummy free kick, Sulimani is taken off and replaced by Massad, who instantly wins a free kick by jumping up the air and screaming when a Spaniard entered his airspace. Well done, sir.

80th minute: Oh for god's sake. Sulimani pounds it well-over the goal. Would you people make blondie make a save, please?

79th minute: I'll give you one guess who drove that last KSA attack. It's all-Noor, all the time around here. And, if it's possible for a team so much better than its opponents to humiliate themselves, Spain are doing a pretty good job of it. The last KSA attack was 2 on 8, and they won a dangerous free kick. Oh boy! Spanish keeper in action! He's telling them what to do with the wall and is being completely ignored. Excellent.

77th minute: Wow, the Spanish fans are seriously pissed. The whistles of disgust are nearly deafening. Well, now the Saudis are whistling too to protest a non-call on a "penalty," so it's hard to tell who is more angry. Just to be contrary, the announcers are saying that al Temyat's card for diving was undeserved. I have no opinion on the matter, because I've ceased to care.

72nd minute: Noor seems to have replicated himself at halftime: He's making every useful midfield touch by the KSA, as well as 90% of the tackles. Why, I may just cast my text message man of the match vote for him, because I want Julie Foudy to know what I think.

71st minute: And, in this game, KSA have their second and third corners, neither of which results in a shot, though the second was somewhat threatening.

71st minute: Sheva! Goal for Ukraine. Awesome.

70th minute: The bad news is that Reyes is off. The good news is that Tores and his mental patient-style haircut has come on to replace him. You've got to give him some points for taking his sartorial tips from Guti.

69th minute: Sulmani runs into a nice through ball from the midfield and hits a good shot at Canizares who flops helpessly but manages to get a fingertip on the ball. Corner #1 for KSA. They do nothing with it.

68th minute: Aw, Al Jaber just came off, mostly likely ending his World Cup career. He did score that one exciting goal against Tunisia, at least he has that to take home.

66th minute: Ah, it's Xavi. And Fabregas escapes the game cardless. Rob Stone is upset he was un-titillated by the lad. Rob, keep your personal life to yourself, please.

65th minute: Wow, even the Spanish fans are bored. If I'm not mistaken, they're wearing those sunglasses to disguise the fact that they're sleeping. Oh, here comes a sub! I can't tell who it is yet, but the racist Spanish coach is busy firing him up with all sorts of anti-Muslim slurs; he'll be on in a minute.

65th minute: You know what ad I really like? The Vonage one with the guy in the lobster suit. I feel no need to get Vonage, but does anyone know where I can get me one of them lobster costumes? Those things are hilarious.

62nd minute: KSA period of threat over. Spain are playing a game of "How Many Passes in a Row Around the Other Team's Box." The total at 45, they take pity and shoot.

60th minute: And, right on cue, he tries to settle a backpass and has it bounce 6 feet away. Canizares, you complete me.

59th minute: I want to see more of Canizares, the ancient Spanish keeper. His peroxided mullet combined with his knee pads and utter inability to settle the ball are making him my favorite clown of the tournament. David Beckham, you've been superseded.

59th minute: The announcers are trying to instill drama in the game by talking about defensive carelessness and pretending that giving up a goal will make any difference at all. To anyone.

57th minute: Whoa — the hideously-coiffed Spanish keeper just had to make a save off a reasonably threatening shot from long range. KSA have spent more time in the attacking half in the past 10 minutes than they did the entire first half. If I cared, I'd say something like "Get in, KSA!"

55th minute: Shit. KSA's decision to put together a coherent attack coincided with a)my unwise decision to accidentally unplug my airport, and b)My computer's decision to shut down due to low power, sending me scrambling for a power source. So I have no idea what happened, but it's still 1-0.

51st minute: KSA really want to attack, but whenever they try to throw numbers forward, they give the ball away and end up exhibiting more desperation than ... people who are really desperate. Uh oh, KSA keeper down. If Zaid goes out, they'll lose the player who has had the most touches today. Noor can't do it all himself, people!

50th minute: Oooooh David Villa (it's a little-known fact that Bob's his uncle) in alone wide, plays it back to Lopez who rips it low; well-saved by the keeper, leading to corner #29 for Spain.

48th minute: More of the same. Really, this is gorgeous football. KSA are standing in for cones, and Spain are just knocking the ball around at will. At the risk of sounding like a posing announcer, their interplay around the box is really wonderful.

47th minute: Whoa, for a second there I thought KSA were attacking. Forgot about that whole changing-ends thing.

46th minute: David Villa will come on for Raul, since they were both supposed to play just a half. It's offical: Soul Patch (or dirty lower-lip) for Bushy Hair.

In non-KSA-Spain news (thank god), the Portugal-Holland game on Monday should be fantastic. Two years ago in the Euros the Portuguese totally humiliated the whining Dutch (it was only bald colossus Jaap Stam that kept the score from being about 6-0) on their way to a second-place finish in the tournament. Actually, the game was sort of like this one — Portugal were that dominating. Really. Of course, if you ask Ruud van Horseface, the loss was entirely due to the officials. Freaking pussy.

Score in reality: 1-0. Score, in practical terms: 7045-0. Spain are toying with KSA, and there's nothing the Saudis can do about it. It actual makes me sad when I stop watching the pretty passing and look instead at the exhausted KSA players running their legs off in a desperate effort to not give up double-digit goals. If a tie meant anything to anyone, there might be SOME interest in the game, because KSA's countering (Read: Win the ball and slam it forward before you can lose it) is always vaguely threatening, in a half-hearted sort of way. But, since they'll only go through with a big win (*snort*) and a loss by the now-a-man-up Ukraine (*giggle*), there's really nothing here to keep us from wandering off.

So, it's the half. Educate us, Julie Foudy and your creepy eyes. (Oh look, the Portuguese flag just drifted by on the silly background screen. Mmm ... Figo.) Goody goody, more whining about the US game — what could be better than that AND Foudy at the same time? Be still my soccer-loving heart. Sigh.

Extra time: The announcers have commenced ignoring the game before them and are instead giving Ronaldo a tongue bath. Dudes, we know he scored twice. He's still fat and slow, and loads of fun to make fun of. Oh, it's halftime. Time to pee, excuse me.

Extra time: Crummy free kick from Reyes. KSA responds by hoofing the ball long and hey, a throw in across midfield! Go KSA! Oh, nevermind. Turnover.

45th minute: I think Stone just called an upcoming game a "tilt." Why is he still speaking?

43rd minute: Joaquin pulls about 4 semi-Cruyffs in the box, resulting in a gift-wrapped pass to Reyes, who has the keeper pretty much at his mercy. So he hits it at his feet, and the keeper gets down well to save it. As a chance of pace, Spain wins a deep throw in rather than a corner.

41st minute: Look, I know I'm taking about Reyes a lot and all, but the thing is that Spain is attacking down the left side about 95% of the time (which is another reason Noor has so much to do). Normally the lack of variety would be bad, but since it works almost every time, there's really no reason to change things.

40th minute: Off another long ball, Al Jaber has a half chance. Unfortunately, I took over his body at just the wrong moment and he tepidly passed the ball the Spanish keeper. Which was good, because he wasn't quite up off his rocking chair yet when the ball was struck.

38th minute: Rob Stone has stopped talking about the game (good) but replaced that mindless chatter with "witty banter" about the nutty Spanish announcers (bad). I just shot him, though, which should put an end to that nonsense. My own inevitable legal troubles are a small price to pay for temporary relief.

36th minute: GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLL! Jesus, not much doubt about that one. Off a free kick from the left (stemming from a nice dive by Reyes, followed by a perfect ball into the box), Juanito heads a laser into the upper left-hand corner of the goal. The KSA keeper still hasn't moved.

35th minute: Noor, the only KSA player who is doing much that's very effective (most of it involving desperate defending), was just clipped by behind by Reyes, who was pissed to have the ball stolen from him. Noor's actually won the ball from him a couple of times, it's just that Reyes usually gets it back and therefore doesn't feel the need to hurt him.

34th minute: Doh! Al Jaber offside. Again. He can be forgiven for the offense, though — he's only been in the national side for 49 years and is still a little unclear on the rules.

32nd minute: Raul has a weak penalty appeal denied; insert American belly-aching here. Raul's hair is quite long these days — he clearly hopes the length will make us overlook his growing bald spot.

30th minute: Another great long-range shot from Spain results in another lame corner. Spain, those dudes in the box wearing read are on YOUR team. Their heads would be a good place to put these corners, rather than in the other corner of the field.

29th minute: Great strike by Albeda from a bit of in-the-box busy-ness by Fabregas, well-saved by KSA keeper. Yet another corner.

27th minute: You know, KSA actually are often a touch or two from a good chance. Their long balls (huh huh) forward are pretty good, it's just settling them and keeping them that's causing problems. There was just a card, by the way. And yes, it was bascially underserved. As if you had to ask.

24th minute: KSA coach Gabriel Calderon is annoyed by the proceedings. You and me both, Gabriel. He is, however, hiding his tears of humiliation well. It's only a matter of time before Gabe gets on the phone to start lining up his next job as a coaching mercenary (I'm saying it'll happen before the half.) I hear the US may need a gaffer soon ...

22nd minute: To their credit, KSA 5-man backline (a formation frequently implemented by teams that need a whole lot of goals) is working. They can't keep the ball, but they're effectively throwing themselves in the way often enough to keep their keeper from being too seriously challenged. Plus, Spain keep missing the goal.

21st minute: Reyes is pretty much having his way with KSA. Every time the ball ends up at his feet, he beat a defender or six. They're lucky he can't hit the goal.

18th minute: Arg. Reyes just missed a gift. Wide open in the box, he hits it right at the keeper. At least he looked good doing it.

16th minute: Oooooh. Reyes skinned KSA's right back, dumped it to Raul, which freed Joaquin for a great chance at the top of the box. He hit it over, possibly aided by the keeper's figure. Free kick, though.

14th minute: Aziz is done. Poor dude.

12th minute: Oh DIRTY. Raul picked up a floated pass on the endline, at the edge of the 6 yard box and tries to nut the defender. He missed the nut, but did get the ball through, though he was foiled by the keeper.

11th minute: Uh oh. Aziz's hurt, possibly because he tried to be fancy and yanked his hammie. The treatment on the sideline is the most action KSA has enjoyed thus far in the match.

9th minute: I spoke too soon! Noor actually executed an effective tackle and won the ball. Leading to, inevitably, a horrendously-executed free kick by KSA. Aaaand we're going the other way.

9th minute: Ok, seriously. This is already sad. Spain are bossing the midfield, and keeping the ball at will. Is it possible KSA forgot to send on all 11 players?

6th minute: Alert, Rob Stone said something sort of funny — and relevant! "Five minutes and still, no yellow cards!" In other news, Spain hasn't lost since 2004. As if KSA needed another reason to throw in th towel.

5th minute: Ooooh first chance for Spain. Raul lost it up top but things worked out conveniently for pretty Reyes to get in a dangerous cross.

Oh man. KSA are so screwed — it's taken Spain's new 11 all of 5 minutes to start kicking their asses.

3rd minute: For once, KSA's old man striker is not the most ancient player on the field. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Spain's new keeper, Santiago Canizares. He was born in 1902, and keeps a walker behind the goal, just in case.

2nd minute: Hey, first free kick of the game goes to KSA! They won something!

2nd minute: Yes, that's right: 11 new starters for Spain. Do you get the feeling they're taking this lightly? The sad thing, of course, is that KSA are, too.

1st minute: Ah, piss. No Shep Messing. I was praying for Shep to keep us entertained.

Welcome, everyone bored enough at work to read about Spain's b-team mercilessly thrashing the hapless lads from Saudi Arabia! I'll do my best to keep you up to date on the happenings, while simultaneously staring at the upper right-hand corner of the screen for updates on the efforts of my Sheva to make it to the next round. Which won't happen if they lose. Or tie, should KSA manage to beat Spain by roughly 32 goals.

Since he's carrying a yellow, Puyol has joined the masses on the bench. Defying all logic, however, similarly yellow-carded Cesc Fabregas is in the starting lineup. (If things get really boring, there's a chance updates will consist entirely of his proximity to the ball, and if he looks like he's thinking about whacking someone. You've been warned.)

There's also no Casillas, no David Villa, no Xavi and no Xabi Alonso. Yawn. In good news, however, Reyes is starting. Mmm ... cheekbones.

The second game of the day is upon us, with Saudi Arabia taking on Ukraine. The Saudis actually could put themselves in excellent position to make the Round of 16 with a win, while the Uks — they call them the Uks, right? — desperately need a victory, or something, anyway.

Live-blogging for you today is Matt McNabb, and he's a virgin live-blogger, so bear with him. He'll do great. Send him your thoughts via us, come play in the comments muck and enjoy, yo.

————————————————————————————

93:00 - The dogs were never called off, as Ukraine fires off a shot, just high, right before the final whistle.
It's over, Ukraine gets a big result, 4-0 over Saudi Arabia. KSA players rightfully look deflated. And with Spain waiting in a few days, it won't get easier.
Stay tuned for Spain v. Tunisia coming up in about an hour. Hold on ... *mutes Julie Foudy* OK. Thanks for hanging in there. I'm sure I posted too often, but I don't really care. It was my first time, and it was memorable. But I won't quit my day job. I'm off now in quest of a hot Saudi women, because I KNOW they're out there in these here Internets.
Mahalo.
- Matt McNabb.

92:00 - Al Khatani and Al Jabar each put down in the box with the ball on their foot, each with a no call. Had the score and time been different, so might have the referee's actions? We won't know.

91:00 - We'll have a fabulous three minutes of stoppage time, where anything (except four KSA goals) can happen.

90:00 - Kalinichenko was about a foot or two high of making this match 5-0.

89:00 - If ever there was a candidate to just forget about any accumulated stoppage time, this would be it. Yellow card given to Sviderskyi for a hard tackle.

87:00 - Shevchenko comes out for a curtain call. Eh, I would too if I was him. Another SOG for Ukraine, followed soon after by Milevskiy going down in the box on a nice run. No call.

85:00 - I was planning on using, "You're with me, twine," if KSA netted one. Alas, it won't happen.
Shevchenko comes out, with a goal and an assist, to a rousing reception from the Ukrainian fans in Hamburg tonight. Milevskiy in for him.

83:00 - Not much else to say on this one, it's been more of the same. That is to say, not many highlights for KSA.
And, here's one less. It's 4-0, on a goal from the recently carded Kalinichenko. They made it look quite easy. No more goal differential.

80:00 - It's been a "slow, comfortable kill" in the second half for Ukraine, said Glenn Davis. Yeah, but if your KSA, not so much.

79:00 - Sub for Ukraine, Gusin in for Voronin. Andriy for Andriy. You know, of all the teams that SHOULD have players called by only one name, these two are top candidates.

77:00 - Shep just had more enthusiasm in his voice calling Shevchenko's earlier goal then KSA has shown in a long while.
Yellow card against Kalinichenko for a foul.
Finally for KSA, Sami Al Jaber in for Noor. Too little, too late I think. He scored on his second touch against Tunisia. Had they won that game, KSA might have been the darlings of the WC coming in and not Ghana. A great story about Al Jaber that I can't recount here.

75:00 - How are Pittsburgh police going to give Roethlisberger a ticket for not wearing a helmet when Pennsylvania has no helmet law?
Oh, KSA has a near chance, but can't get it on net. It's still 3-nil.

73:00 - Yellow card to Kariri, of KSA. I missed what he did. Maybe sneezed on the ref, based on the officiating of the WC to date.
Save, Zaid. Been saying his name an awful lot. Thankfully it's only four letters.

70:00 - I have not gone to the well for a terrorism joke because I have a minor in ethnic studies and have some cultural awareness of the Middle East. That and I don't know who's reading this ...
Ukraine has done everything they've wanted in the KSA half of the pitch except plant a flag. Maybe in the 80th minute?
Ukraine sub ready to come in, allegedly, and it's Rotan in for Rebrov. His day will end at one goal.

68:00 - Shep again says KSA is not quitting. I agree, to an extent. After all, if they had, they'd be Togo-like. A pair of good chances in the box for Ukraine, but they can't finish.

65:00 - Another collision, between Zaid (KSA keeper), a KSA defender and Andriy Voronin. Zaid and Voronin go down, both appear OK, but Voronin up quicker. Zaid reaching for his back. If needed, they have an experienced (182 caps) keeper in Mohammed Al Deayea. Zaid went down in the opening match too, but did not come out.

64:00 - Two quick chances again for KSA. One punched out by Ukraine keeper, second one put wide left and out of bounds.
Then very nearly the goal differential was eliminated, but KALINICHENKO, I think, puts it off the cross bar. And yes, I had to copy and paste that name. I'm doing it for you.

62:00 - A strange series of events led to almost a wide-open net for a possible KSA goal, but no one was there to take the shot. Keeper tried to keep KSA off the ball and let it go out, but he backheeled it through the box while the keeper was grossly out of position. But no one was in place for KSA to put it home.

61:00 - Soon after posting that, KSA puts one at the keeper. Wait, let me try that again. KSA just is doing terrible, they can't score, won't score. (Waiting for KSA goal ... )

59:00 - I should have had a sandwich at halftime. I snacked on dried apricots during the first half, but I'm still a bit peckish. Oh, soccer? Still 3-0. Just because there are men in green and white on the pitch does not mean KSA has showed up for this match.

57:00 - What on first glance looked like a PK-resulting foul in favor of KSA turns into a yellow card for a KSA player whose name I forgot. Didn't look like a foul, I agree, but not much like a dive either.

55:00 - First substitutions of the match, for KSA. Khathran in for Dokhi, Mouath in for Ameen.

53:00 - Ukraine playing keepaway, with too much success. It looks like KSA is a man down, when they are not. A few shot attempts by Ukraine, but goal kick for Zaid. And it's right back to Ukraine. A KSA foul gives the ball back to the men in yellow.

50:00 - Finally, the Ukraine keeper gets some camera time. Nice green jersey. Might not even have to wash it tonight. His name, by the way, because I don't think I'll be mentioning him at all later, is Oleksander Shovkovskyi.

49:00 - A Hussein Sulimani foul gives Ukraine another free kick, but nothing doing this time. Imagine that.

48:00 - Shep says Americans might be able to spot Shevchenko in the MLS one day, as he's married to an American model. Ha! He'll be here all half, folks.

46:00 - Wow. Shevchenko with a header, and it's 3-0 Ukraine, about 30 seconds in. Started with more of the same, some slipping and whatnot. Goal went in off a free kick. He was marked fairly well, and shoved his defender which was not noticed. They're doing well at making up that goal differential already.

Stll halftime - Just a few more things, kids. Why Julie Foudy? If they had asked any of us here, would she have been on the list? Why no Mia Hamm? Brandi Chastain? I know there are others, but that's all I got right now.
Also, in another McNabb WC memory, I stayed on campus at my college (Wichita State University, Go Shox!) during the summer of 2002. Not many domestic students stay over the summer, but the internationals do. There's nothing like setting your alarm for some ridiculous time to watch the WC with foreigners. I also missed part of a Spanish class that summer to watch the U.S. vs. Mexico. Almost time to play on.

Halftime - Here's some tidbits from around the Web regarding the match: The two sides have never met before. KSA comes in riding an eight-match World Cup winless streak. This is KSA's fourth world cup (1994, 1998, 2002, 2006). I saw them defeat Morocco at Giants Stadium in the 1994 WC. The tickets were way up at the top, an eighth-grade graduation present. I bought a Morocco t-shirt. They did not win. I think my slight wager may have doomed KSA for today. Sorry Saudis.
KSA was blown out in the WC; they were on the wrong side of an 8-0 match with Germany four years ago.

45:00 stoppage time - Ukraine doesn't capitalize on another chance, but no matter. It's halftime, 2-0 Ukraine. Bring out the squeegees. This is a different Ukraine team so far, at least from the half of play I saw against Spain. It's not necessarily a different KSA team however, but they've got a more capable adversary this match. Some key substitutions, like with Sami Al Jaber in the opening match, could help out the Kingdom in Half 2.

45:00 - Shep likes KSA's attitude though they are down 2-0. They keep attacking, etc., he said. And I agree. We'll see how it translates in the early 2nd half. Two minutes of stoppage time.

44:00 - I think ESPN had a graphic that said Ukraine hadn't scored more than two goals in a WC match. Wasn't the first goal of the game their first ever in a WC?
Anyway, it was almost 3-0 going into the half, but alas, shot was off.

41:00 - Collision between players, both are on the ground and the ref is waiting for his choice to get up so he can card him. Yellow card goes to Dokhi. Ukraine with a hcance from the corner, headed down by Al Qadi. Corner for Ukraine, from the near side of your screen this time. Knocked away, but Ukraine maintains possession. Shot wide left from Ukraine.

39:00 - KSA player does a little head fake to distract the Ukrainian. Ball on side line, both player look at it. KSA guy looks to ref, Ukraine follows suit. KSA absconds with ball. Tricky. Now let's see that translate into something we can see on the scoarboard, eh?

36:00 - Goal Ukraine, 2-0. Rebrov with the netter, from a good bit out. Any NFL teams need a place kicker next year? It might as well have been on a tee. Zaid was beaten like a, well, he didn't see it coming I don't think. Or he slipped. Something. It was a good strike, but bad goalkeeping.

35:00 - Ukraine seems better able to mount an offense, in terms of establishing possession in the KSA half of the pitch and taking its time finding open players. No wonder I got 6.5-1.

32:00 - Goal kick from KSA after defender keeps a shot from getting on goal. Ball's been in the KSA side of the field for quite some time lately. As I say that KSA crosses over and might be mounting something. First two chances, nothing. Third not a charm either, Ukraine back with possession.

30:00 - Ukraine throw-in leads to another deflection off a defender, this time at the other side of the pitch. Zaid handles it OK, defender put it up more than at the net.
Shep said bad weather levels the playing field, helps keep KSA in the game. He said Ukraine a better team. Sure, on paper. But so far in the WC? I dissent.

29:00 - Dokhi, the KSA defender who kept the game from being 2-0 right now, shoots high of the net. Give him credit for taking the shot though. Throw enough at the wall, some might stick. Or at the goal, some might go in, for those needing help making that connection.

27:00 - Lots of back and forth so far without many sustained possessions. ESPN tells us no team has advanced to the round of 16 after losing by four goals in their opener, or something like that. Sometimes facts get in the way of truth. And the truth is, Ukraine is better right now. The scoreboard sayeth so.

24:00 - Rusol almost puts another one in, but this one would have equalized it. Corner for KSA, and ... it's a bit long, going for back post, but out and now a goal kick. When I get a chance to watch closely, some players seem to look timid about the damp field. I know I would be, but I don't own cleats.

23:00 - If you're on AOL IM and want to chime in to harass, I'm EasyMacWSU on there. But don't hit on me, I'm busy.

21:00 - Shevchenko's third shot of the match is handled easily by Zaid. The only goal of the match so far in the 4th minute was brought to you by Andriy (surprise!) Rusol, a 23-year-old with 24 caps and one goal coming into the match.
First yellow to Ukraine, Nesmachnyi, defender, #2.

20:00 - Hey, I HAVE been spelling Shevchenko right. That journalism degree is good for something, eh? (note to coworkers and bosses: I kid. Really. I love my job and all about it.)

17:00 - Shevchenko, barely onside, can't catch a ball through the box, picked by Zaid. Shevchenko smiles about it. Maybe they do feel comfortable up 1-0.

15:00 - KSA free kick, but a foul sends the ball the other way. Kariri runs under #22 for Ukraine. And the wave is going around the stadium. For shame, football fans. For shame.
Throw in for KSA leads to a Ukraine foul. KSA possesses, slowly trying to set something up. Loses it, recovers and a free kick misses everyone. Ball cleared.

13:00 - another Ukraine corner, head by Shevchenko (not even close to spelled right I think) but out on defender. Another corner, another ball knocked over the net, and a third straight corner for Ukraine.
Third time nearly a charm, another header from Shevchenko, off a defender's chest. Defender on the line, thank you very much. Extra for him.

11:00 - Really Glenn, I can watch this in HD? I didn't know that from the other 985 times I've heard it since 9 June. Thanks.
Save Zaid, and a quick effort the other way for KSA, but nothing. Now we're back in the other end, and Ukraine gives it back. For a team that lost 4-0 (and it really wasn't that close), Ukraine seems content with a 1-0 lead.

9:00 - Despite the rain, the game lacks fluidity at the moment. Zaid, KSA keeper, declined to catch the ball last time and opted for the two-fisted punch. Speaking of which, at least one Klitschko brother is in attendance this evening.
One hand quasi-save by Zaid. And back the other way for KSA. Good opportunity for a second, but a flock of yellow shirt defenders interfere, and goal kick Ukraine.

7:00 - Ukraine looks back on their heels under KSA pressure. Replay of the goal shows it went off the Ukraine guy's (I'll get his name) knee or leg in a bit of organized chaos that usually is a corner kick.
Ukraine has no Vladyslav Vashchuk, a defender, out on red card.

5:00 - Sorry, that goal came in the 4th minute. It is the Ukraine's first WC goal, like, ever. Wowie. They almost gave it right back on a free kick. And on the goal, Noor, the defender, slipped. Mother Nature conspires.

1:00 - KSA goal kick, quickly back to Ukraine, who plays nice and gives it right back. Sharing is caring. KSA keeper Zaid misplays ball, maybe slips on wet pitch, and Ukraine corner kick. Header off to the side, but off defender Noor. Another corner. Take two, and it's 1-0 Ukraine, with a goal in the 3rd minute. A dream start for Ukraine, Messing says. I concede.

Kickoff:
Game on. We've got an English ref, so we'll see who he dislikes more. The slick field is already evident less than a minute in. Let's hope we don't see too many stretcher runs. Or let's, you know, whatever works for you.

Still pre-game:
Much was made by the Deadspin faithful in the first Ukraine matchup of the parade of Andriys for those boys in yellow. However, the Kingdom (heretofore called KSA) has a seven-pack of Mohammeds on their side. So.

Pre-game:
I should now mention I laid a lil bit of $ on Saudi Arabia to win today, on Bodog.com, at 6.5-1. Not that it matters.

Anthem time:
I'm going to have to disagree with ESPN's talking heads in the studio. They're favoring the Ukraine, saying the Kingdom couldn't put their first game away when they had a lead. I disagree. They did not get drubbed 4-0. Go Saudi Arabia.
"The Ukraine got smacked by Spain," says everyone's favorite (ahem), Glenn Davis, retired Houston Astro. He and Shep on this match ... be glad you're following along here.

Welcome, kids, to Hamburg, Germany, the northernmost World Cup city this year. It's been raining, and through the game there's a chance of rain, temps in the low 70s. Who does that favor? *shrug*

Anyway, the final opening match is upon us, with Saudi Arabia taking on Tunisia. Even though it's Saudi Arabia, please, no Oilers jokes. No politics allowed here! It's the World Cup, and it's about peace and goodwill or something.

Your live blogger for this round is Ryan Corazza of We Are The Postmen, who is ready to rock. If you email us with comments, we'll be happy to pass them along to him. And, of course, have fun out there.

—————————————————————————

Postgame: Well, that was the most exciting tie I have ever seen in my life. Tunisia could have folded after Al Jaber knocked that one in, but they showed some poise and scored again. Good, exciting play from both sides of the ball. To Tunisia and Saudi Arabia, thanks for making a seemingly boring game pretty kick-ass. So this one ends in a 2-2 tie. I'm outie everybody. Thanks for reading and Happy World Cup!

94 min: Al Jaber has another shot, but it's deflected. And that's it. Game ends in 2-2 tie.

93 min: THIS THING IS TIED! Tunisia scores on a header. It's crossed just outside the 6-yard box and headed in. This game is freaking amazing. 2-2.

91 min: Saudi player tries bending in a free kick from the right side, just outside the box. Deflected off the head of a Tunisian on the wall and almost goes into the top right of the goal. Tunisian goalie makes a sick save.

88 min: Tunisian player blasts one just high of the left corner of the net. So close.

84 min: GOOOOOOOAL! Al Jaber is in there two minutes and scores on a breakaway! I have chills watching the celebration right now and I have no ties whatsoever to the Saudis. That's just a cool story, folks. Al Jaber is a stud. 2-1 Saudis.

82 min: Al Jaber comes in for the Saudis. He's an old-timer that was coaxed out of retirement and is supposedly the best Saudi soccer player ever. Let's see what he can do.

79 min: Free kick outside the box for Saudis....off the Tunisian wall. Those always give me hope for a score, but let me down every time.

76 min: Hey, soccer fans. Don't forget to text in your player of the game to ESPN!

72 min: Saudi goalie gets tangled up with Tunisia player and both are on the ground for a bit. We will have stoppage time indeed.

66 min: The crowd is really getting into this game. Both squads are playing hard and with a sense of urgency. It may just be Tunisia v. Saudi Arabia, but this is a damn good game right now. Get at it if you can.

63 min: Still haven't seen a cameraman flash to Aladdin or Jasmine in the crowd on the Saudi side. I did see Abu and his funny little hat, though.

56 min: GOAL! AND THIS THING IS TIED UP, BABY! Saudis do some sort of kneeling prayer celebration. It's hot. What a goal it was. One Saudi sharks down the outside of the box on the right side and a few yards from the goal, crosses it into the box for his teammate. That dude administers a one-timer into the net. 1-1.

54 min: Captain of Tunisia, Bouazizi, comes off the pitch and is replaced by a substitute. Don't worry, everybody. He remembered to hand off his blue captain armband to someone else on the team. Phew.

50 min: A graphic on the screen lets us know the Saudis have had 13 managers in 11 years. Cubs fans everywhere relate to this.

46 min: No. 8 for the Saudis has the ball 2 yards out, it's just him and the goalie. He misfires and hits it wide right. D'oh.

Halftime: We got a 1-0 lead for Tunisia on an excellent strike in the box from Jaziri. The Saudis seemed to have more chances to put one in the net, but didn't. Tunisia capitalized on one of their free kicks and scored. That's pretty much the story of the first half. Catch you in the back 45, homeys.

Sidenote: Here in the lovely suburbs of Chicago, we've been treated to these new Chicago Fire commercials during the WC because they just opened up their new stadium on Sunday. They are going with this Hitler Third Reich-styled 'Generation Red' commercial. It's fit with large screens in the background of a player talking into microphones. Why they think this is a good marketing campaign, I have no idea. Has anyone else seen these?

44 min: A Saudi rips a shot from about 40-45 yards out. It is wide left. Two minutes of stoppage time added.

42 min: Eh, so I haven't said anything in awhile. Basically, Tunisia got a corner at some point a couple minutes ago and other than that, there's been a lot of dribbling, fouling and passing around the midfield. I hear this happens a lot in soccer.

36 min: Yellowcard on Tunisia's Haggui. He pulled down a Saudi who was on a run towards the goal. Free kick coming from about 35 yards out. Bouazizi of Tunisia comes within ten yards of the free kick before it's kicked. This is not allowed in soccer. He gets a yellow card for it. We re-kick; it's a shot on goal that is blocked by the Saudi goalkeeper.

33 min: And we have another corner kick for the Saudis. And again, instead of crossing it into the 6-yard box, they flick a little pass to the outside. That Saudi crosses it in and it's headed right to the goalie by another Saudi.

30 min: Really wishing I had HDTV right now. Because with the ESPN bottom scroll and the score of the game across the top, it's a little hard to see the tiny men playing soccer.

23 min: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLLL

Tunisia takes advantage of their free kick outside the box. It's whipped in from the outside and after it's headed by a Saudi off his own player, the rebound goes to Jaziri in the box and he hits a striking side volley into the upper left corner for a score. Beautiful.

21 min: Shep Messing lets us know that because they're an Arab nation, the Saudis weren't allowed to have alcohol or paid TV in their hotel and all the paintings were covered up. The alcohol and TV I can do without. But no paintings? That's a crying shame.

18 min: Saudis get another free kick right outside the box. And again, no shot on goal. Give me something to work with people!

17 min: Another corner for Saudi. Weak pass outside of box. Nothing doing. It's cleared by Tunisia.

14-15 min: Free kick for the Saudis about 35-40 yards out. The wall is set up right outside the box in the middle. It's delfected out of bounds. Corner for the Saudis. Headed by Tunisia out of bounds.

11 min: Shep Messing just said of Tunisia: 'This is a huge moment for them.' No duh, it's the World Cup silly.

10 min: Tunisia has a guy named 'Haggui' on their squad. LOL! THAT'S HILARIOUS!

9 min: Corner kick for Tunisia. Headed, but out of bounds.

6 min: Cool little pass from one Tunisian to another, he crosses it and...it's deflected out of bounds.

4 min: Both teams are sponsored by Puma, which I guess is kinda cool.

2 min: Whoa, looks like Tunisia just got fouled in the box. No call though.

0 min: Flags are being brought out onto the field. The Saudi flag has a sword on it, which makes them way sweeter than Tunisia already.

Hey there, Deadspin folk. We've got Tunisia. We've got Saudi Arabia. Maybe not the most exciting match-up on the docket. But hey, did you know the Tunisian government doesn't allow the commercialization of the national team? Or that Prince Sultan will be giving each player on the Saudi team 100,000 riyals if they win today?

Yes, now you are very excited!

But if not and you commenters are going to want to talk about something else, may I suggest some Guts/Legends of the Hidden Temple talk? I thought the Boy Meets World banter on Friday was great.

Happy reading, everybody.

• 2. They Will Not Super-Size It. To their credit, the Saudi's are probably the only team in Germany, aside from the hosts, with their entire squad playing domestically on the club level. Essentially the whole squad plays for Al-Ittihad or Al-Hilal. It's a safe bet, though, that none of the starting XI have tasted the culinary joys of a bacon cheeseburger.

• 3. When HBO Gets It Right. As snooty as Bryant Gumbel is, and as foppish as No. 1 soccer hater Frank Deford is (note the ludicrous caption to the photo linked, about U.S. soccer), HBO's Real Sports presented a very compelling segment recently detailing the exploitation of children as slave camel jockeys in Saudi Arabia.

• 4. Have Whistle, Will Travel. The players may be home grown, but not the coaches. The current Saudi Arabia coach is former Argentine international Gabriel Calderon, who replaced Dutchman Gerard van der Lem, following a poor showing by the Saudis in the Asian Cup. Calderon is the second Argentinean to lead Saudi Arabia into a FIFA World Cup finals. Jorge Solari coached the team at USA '94.

(Tomorrow: Switzerland)