Anderson Silva Says The Steroids Found In His System Are From Penis Drugs

For a time, Brazilian mixed martial artist Anderson Silva was the greatest fighter on Earth. He might be the greatest fighter of all time. But all things, even or especially the best things, come to an end, and Silva got knocked out by Chris Weidman, and then broke his leg in the rematch, and now we’re here,… »8/12/15 4:07pm8/12/15 4:07pm

UFC Hires Former IRS Shitbag, Presumably To Oppress Its Athletes

The UFC, lately embarrassed by its fighters failing a lot of drug tests, has hired shitbag/former IRS agent Jeff Novitzky, best known as beloved baseball legend Barry Bonds’s persecutor, to be its “Vice President of Athlete Health and Performance.” This seems like a high-falutin’ and more than faintly Orwellian title… »4/06/15 9:22pm4/06/15 9:22pm

It's Remarkably Easy To Beat NFL Drug Testing

If we’ve learned one thing from his trial...it’s that Aaron Hernandez probably killed a dude or three. But if we’ve learned a second thing from the trial, it’s that Aaron Hernandez smoked a lot of weed. Like, a ton of it, and all the time. Enough to keep even the largest fictional giant in a permanent chill state. And… »4/06/15 11:35am4/06/15 11:35am

Even God Cheats: How Anderson Silva Shocked Us By Doing The Expected

The Nevada State Athletic Commission is a bumbling, soulless government agency, and so a strange agent for the delivery of the message that our gods have forsaken us. They never have been particularly diligent messengers in any event, but for whatever reason—bureaucracy, incompetence, something more nefarious—they… »2/19/15 9:15pm2/19/15 9:15pm

This Big A-Rod Profile Might Actually Make You Feel Bad For A-Rod

J.R. Moehringer has a huge feature about Alex Rodriguez on ESPN.com today. It's a well-reported, in-depth look at everything Rodriguez has been up to since being banned from baseball for 162 games for using PEDs. There's a lot going on in the story, and you should really read the whole thing, but perhaps most… »2/18/15 10:42am2/18/15 10:42am

Reports: The NFL's Drug Policy Could Become A Lot More Logical

Pro Football Talk reported last night that the NFL and the players are "very close" to a sweeping overhaul of the league's drug policy and procedures, one that may or may not include the long-debated HGH testing. But multiple sources are reporting other changes, ones that if they had been in place over the last year… »9/04/14 2:25pm9/04/14 2:25pm